


Destruction

by femalefighter56



Series: Destruction Series [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Depression, Drama, Future, Love, M/M, injuries, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-09-14 12:35:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 77,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9182053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femalefighter56/pseuds/femalefighter56
Summary: Viktor can't stand by and watch Yuri destroy himself anymore but Yuri won't stop until he is forced to. What will come of the Grand Prix? What will come of them?





	1. Chapter 1

Destruction  
Disclaimer-I own nothing!  
“Yuri, let’s take a break. You’ve been at it for hours now.” Trying to catch his breath Viktor couldn’t believe the stamina Yuri had. He had witnessed it, and dealt with it for all their practices but today was a bit much. With the Grand Prix Finals closing in Yuri was trying to get in all the practice time he could and he knew he had done the same but Yuri was really pushing himself. He wanted to do a quadruple flip, and he had Viktor’s full support but he wasn’t landing it. They had gone over it a million times, best way to achieve the height, the rotations, the footing; his feet where killing him in his shoes. Looking over at Yuri he had this determination on his face, he admired that look.  
“I’m going to keep practicing for a bit. I know I can make the movements flow better.”  
“You are going to overdo it before the final. We can come back later.” Viktor wished he could get Yuri to listen just once. He knew he never listened to his former coach but still.  
“I’m fine!” Skating back to the center of the rink he blew off Viktor. Leaving the rink Viktor watched. He could see exhaustion was getting to him as he was getting sloppy. Watching him do it two more times he had begged again for him to stop for now and rest. Being ignored Viktor couldn’t take his eyes off of Yuri as he could see each step was dragging. After this he was going to pull him off the ice if he had to, Yuri needed a breather. Watching him attempt the quadruple flip he noticed his footing wasn’t right when he jumped. His heart stopped as he saw Yuri fall and slide across the ice as his landing was off again. When he didn’t see him move right away he started panicking.  
“Yuri!” Running onto the ice Viktor raced to Yuri, his breathe caught in his throat as he slid on his knees to get to him. “Yuri! O…Oh god!” His mouth hung open as he saw blood on the ice and Yuri not moving.  
“V…Viktor…” He was on the verge of screaming in pain.  
Hearing Yuri say his name he reached for him seeing he was trying to get up. He was in pain he could see that all over his face, what was he doing?  
“Careful Yuri. You landed hard.” His heart was beating faster with happiness seeing him okay. Watching him stumble Viktor put an arm around him to keep him still while he reached for his phone to call for an ambulance. Now that he was thinking clearly he knew Yuri needed help right away. Knowing the paramedics wouldn’t be able to get them in the rink Viktor called for Yuuko and her husband as well to help him get Yuri safely off.  
Viktor sat beside Yuri’s hospital bed glad he was going to be okay. There was something had to tell him when he woke up, he didn’t know how he was going to though, he didn’t know how Yuri would take it. Keeping their hands together he gave them another gentle kiss. If only he had been a better coach none of this would have happened. His inexperience caused this, if he had taught Yuri better, he wouldn’t have pushed himself so hard.  
“Viktor…” Hearing his name Viktor’s eyes met Yuri’s and his face gave his injured lover a small smile. “Viktor what happened?”  
“You missed your landing…from exhaustion! You hit the ice hard from it, cut you head.” Letting his one hand go of Yuri’s he reached for the bandage on his head. “You didn’t need stitches.”  
“How long will I be here?” Yuri asked, he was looking around the room. It was obvious to the other he was looking for something.  
“I don’t think long. The doctor didn’t anything about you being here long.”  
“And my parents?”  
“They were just here. They stepped out for a moment. Yuri…”  
“I can’t have this set me back for the final.”  
“Yuri.”  
“I think if I alter my,”  
“Yuri!” Cutting him off Viktor looked away from his lovers face. “You have to drop out Yuri.”  
“…What? I’m fine. You said I was fine.” Seeing someone enter the room they saw it was his doctor, behind him was his parents, what was everyone hiding?  
“Mr. Katsuki, when you hit your head you gave yourself a serious concussion and further tests show you damaged your spine. If you continue to skate a serious fall like the one you had could paralyze you.” Viktor could tell Yuri was looking at him, he should say something, do something for him but there was nothing. He was the worst coach, boyfriend, and person in the world.  
“Yuri I…”  
“Please go.”  
At those words Viktor looked up, the devastation on Yuri’s face broke his own heart. Standing, Viktor put his arms around him to keep him close.  
“I am going to help you Yuri. I promise, I’m not going anywhere.”  
“Just go.”  
Viktor’s arms dropped to his side as he pulled away. Maybe Yuri just needed time. “Get some rest alright. I’ll come back tomorrow.” Waiting for Yuri’s parents to say their goodbyes they all left together in silence. Hugging himself he wished he had some idea on what to do, some way to make this right for him. He loved Yuri more than he thought he could love anything else in this world, he didn’t want to see him feel like this was the end.  
The next morning Viktor came to the hospital as soon as visiting hours started. No matter what Yuri said he wasn’t going to leave his side. And, once he was released they would go home and they could figure out what to do from here. He had nothing else he was good at outside of skating but he would work with Yuri’s parents if he had to, or maybe he could work at the ice castle. Coming to Yuri’s room he stopped when he saw it empty. Going to a nurse he asked of Yuri’s where about.  
“Mr. Katsuki checked himself out early this morning.”  
“What?!” He never went home, he didn’t see him at all this morning. Turning to the doors he ran out of the hospital, there was only one other place he would go.  
“Yuri! Stop!” Coming to the wall of the rink he saw Yuri standing in the center. “For the love of god stop! If you do this you may never walk again! Please Yuri!” Seeing Yuri look towards him he could tell he was crying.  
“I have to do this Viktor. I have…you wouldn’t understand.”  
Moving to the ice Viktor made his way to Yuri getting his arms around him before he collapsed in his tears.  
“Yuri, your health means everything to me. Please. Just stop. It’s alright, you don’t have to continue.”  
“I just wanted to stay with you Viktor, I wanted to make you proud so you would stay.” At those words Viktor lifted Yuri’s head, his own eyes matching his lover’s state.  
“Stay?” It was something he never thought about it, staying was just what he was always planning on doing. Once he realized he fell head over heels for the younger skater he knew his heart belonged beside him. They never spoke of what came next after the Grand Prix but he always assumed Yuri knew, knew he loved him and could never leave.  
“I wanted to make you proud, wanted to prove to the world that I was worth you. I’ve been in your shadow since you arrived and I wanted everyone to see…see how much it meant to me. Our time together…I can’t let it end.” Getting ready to stand, Viktor stood up to keep him from trying anything.  
“Do I have to beg Yuri? I will, I’ll fall at your feet and beg you to come off the ice and rest. I…I know I’m not good at much but I’ll learn. I’ll learn for you, for us, I’ll do anything for you if it means you won’t do this. Let’s forget about the final, about my coaching, about everything. Let’s travel the world together.” Keeping his hands in Yuri’s he waited for something.  
“You don’t get it.” Letting go of Viktor’s hands Yuri skated off the rink and sat on the nearby bench to remove his skates. Viktor carefully followed and stayed by his side while he put his shoes on.  
“Here, let me tie them for you. You shouldn’t be straining your back so much.” Bending down he tied his shoes before Yuri took his hand.  
“I want to show you something Viktor.” Having him follow, their hands still attached, they headed back to Yuri’s place in silence. Ignoring his parents they went upstairs and into Yuri’s room. This was the first time he ever stepped into it. It was nice, the walls were a little too bland for his taste but they were nice. “There is a box on my closet shelf, can you get it for me?” Watching Yuri sit on his bed he did what was asked for him before sitting beside him. Seeing the lid open he noticed he was staring at himself. “I…since I was a child, all I wanted was to share the podium with you. Last year…I was so close to that dream…but I self-destructed. I was so close to you and I couldn’t even say hi to you.” Hearing him start to cry again Viktor put his arms around Yuri’s shoulders. “Then…I do one stupid routine for a friend and you see it and…and you came here saying you wanted to coach me. I’ll never get why you came here for me. Why Yurio was never you’re first choice but I didn’t want to wake from this dream so I believed that if I worked hard enough it would never end. All I ever wanted since I was a child was to be like you. Now…now I can do nothing. I have no dream to strive for.”  
Putting his head on Yuri’s shoulder, Viktor lifted a picture of himself when he was a teenager from the box. “I want you to know something Yuri. When I was sixteen all I ever wanted to do was skate. I spent every waking moment trying to find ways to improve, to surprise my fans. Ten years later and I won, again…I sat in that press conference wondering what I wanted to do with my life. My skating career was close to ending, I had no social life, I had no true plan for my future. And then…I saw you as we were leaving the arena. There was something in your eyes that struck me. At the banquet you looked miserable…for a while anyway.” Hoping for a smile and getting nothing he continued. “You were on my mind. I was at my home and you were always on my mind. I couldn’t figure out why and then I saw it. I saw your fiery passion to convey a story. I knew there was more to you than the hot mess I saw at the final and I had to know you more. So I took you up on an offer I figured wasn’t worth much considering how drunk you were, and came here. I’ve never once regretted that decision. At first, I thought I could make you a better skater. I thought I could make you the gold medalist I knew you could be but you changed me. For the first time in my life, Yuri, all I wanted was to spend my life with someone, spend my life with you.”  



	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
Disclaimer- I own nothing!  
It wasn’t going to be easy Viktor knew this but, he never thought it would be this hard either.  
“Just rest Yuri, alright?”  
“I’m fine Viktor, I don’t need to stay in bed.”  
“The doctor said you needed to take it easy, and a concussion is no joke, especially when it is as bad as yours. And that doesn’t really convince me when you got really dizzy when we were with your parents.”  
“It was just from trying to focus on the TV.”  
“Please stop trying to fight me on everything and just relax.” Giving him his best pout he could muster he pulled Yuri close to him while they cuddled in Yuri’s bed. Makkachin laid by their feet to help keep them warm and under strict orders to make sure Yuri took it easy.   
With Yuri asleep Viktor snuck out of bed and quietly went to his own room. He had a phone call to make, one he didn’t want Yuri to see. He felt awful that it had come to this and in all honestly he was shocked Yuri didn’t blame him for everything. He could see the hurt and disappointment in his lover’s eyes and it was never towards him as a coach, it was towards himself as the student. There was no need for him to beat himself up so much. He was incredible, he was a hard worker, dedicated, talented, Yuri was simply amazing. Opening his phone he pulled up the right number and made the dreaded phone call.  
“Hello? Yes…This is Viktor Nikiforov, Yuri Katsuki’s coach. Yes…I am calling because due to an accident he is unable to participate in the final. Yes… the doctor is faxing over the hospital papers right now… He will be alright…thank you for the concern.” Hanging up he sat on the edge of his bed and cried. He felt terrible for this. Yuri worked too hard for it all to end here. If only he had been a better coach then he would have mastered the jump and none of this would have happened. How could Yuri not completely hate him? It was no surprise he didn’t want him around much anymore. Drying his eyes he left his room, he needed to plan his next move. He would never leave Yuri, he still loved him. But, it would be a miracle if Yuri still wanted him around. Yakov had told him he would never be anyone’s coach, he had never been more right.  
Going downstairs he went to tell Yuri’s family that he officially pulled him from the Grand Prix. He didn’t want the news to surprise them, though they were there when the doctor told Yuri. Coming down the stairs he stopped seeing Minako looking up at him holding her laptop. That news spread fast.  
“Viktor, tell me, this…this is lying isn’t it?”  
Coming down the rest of the way he shut her laptop. “Yuri is prohibited from skating. I had no choice Minako.”  
“He knows doesn’t he?”  
“Yes. The doctor told him yesterday.”  
“My god. That poor kid.”  
“I’m so sorry Minako.” Fighting back tears he went to tell Yuri’s parents.  
All day Viktor kept an eye on Yuri. That concussion really worried him. He knew he needed rest and was dealing with a lot but sleeping most of the day concerned him too. Leaving Yuri’s room again he headed back down to make him dinner. He hoped to have a nice meal for him when he woke up. Really, he would do anything to make him smile even a little.  
Coming out of the kitchen with Yuri’s mother they both stopped as the TV was on and talking about Yuri being out of the Grand Prix Final. Well, it was official then. They were announcing who would replace him. Feeling his phone go off he saw he had quite a few missed messages. Chris, Yurio, and Phichit had sent him questions about what happened. Saying the news was true he decided to tell Chris the truth but the other two would just get that Yuri was hurt and unable to compete. He doubted Yuri wanted everyone to know right now. Seeing Chris message him back he decided to give Yuri another couple of minutes to rest.  
“Can he walk?”  
“Yes. Doctor said that he can’t strain himself though, he could do further damage and cause him to be wheelchair bound.”  
“Jesus. How he is holding up?”  
“He is devastated. I don’t know what to do.”  
“All you can do is be there for him. How are you doing?”  
“I feel like I failed him. I just wish I could make this better for him.”  
“You know I’m here for you guys. If you need anything let me know.”  
“Thanks. I really appreciate that.”  
Putting his phone back in his pocket he went back to looking at the TV. Mrs. Katsuki was shaking her head looking ready to cry. His family were amazing fans and support, Yuri was so lucky to have that growing up. Placing a hand on her shoulder he went to comfort her when he heard a bark behind him. Spinning around he saw Yuri watching the TV with Makkachin at his feet.   
“Yuri. I made food for you.” Being ignored he saw his eyes glued to the TV. Moving in front of him he didn’t want him to watch it. He didn’t want this to depress him further. Seeing him blink and stare at him before he turned to leave the room Viktor went after him. “Yuri!” Grabbing his arm he tried to get him to stop. He really shouldn’t be moving all around. Was he trying to make his injury worse? “Where are you going? I…I made dinner for you. Go back upstairs and I’ll bring it to you.”  
“You…made something for me?”  
“I did. Well, your mom helped me.” He watched as Yuri looked at his mother before looking back at him with tears in his eyes.  
“I’m not hungry.” Going to turn to leave Viktor stopped him.  
“You haven’t eaten all day. Please. Just a little. I made your favorite.” Yuri went to turn to go back towards the stairs only to wince. Viktor quickly put his arms around him before he fell. “Yuri! Are you alright?” He looked like he hurt his back injury. He was so scared he would overdue it. Yuri didn’t deserve anymore trauma. With the help of Mrs. Katsuki they got him in a chair to rest before he made anything worse. Kneeling in front of him, Viktor kept his eyes on him. His mother was beside him waiting to make sure he was alright as well. “Are you in pain Yuri? Do you need anything?”   
Shaking his head he looked up at the TV as the news still talked about the official announcement. Hearing the door to the springs quickly open Viktor looked over to see who it was, he didn’t want anyone to get to Yuri; he needed rest. Seeing Minami come running in once he spotted them Viktor stood up to stand beside Yuri.   
“Oh my god, Yuri! I heard you got hurt, are you alright?” Viktor noticed he barely nodded.  
“Yea. I think so.”  
“What happened? Was it a car accident or something?”  
“I…I ruined everything.” Realizing he was starting to tear up again Viktor put his arms around him to hug him tightly.   
“No. No you didn’t Yuri.” He whispered hoping he could try to lift his spirits. It wouldn’t be overnight but he hoped little by little he could. Minami knelt down in front of Yuri with worry in his eyes.  
“Everything will be fine Yuri. You’re alive, so that is always better.”  
“Shut up Minami.”  
Both recoiled from Yuri’s attitude, this wasn’t like him at all. Minami didn’t deserve that.  
“Yuri…”  
“No! You both don’t get it! How can you? You both can keep going but I can’t! It’s all over for me! The only thing I could do and I was stupid. I messed up everything. I would be better off dead.” Starting to really cry Viktor brought him close again. He really wished he could say something to help him but he was never good with words. Feeling Yuri push his head into him Viktor realized he was looking pale.  
“Yuri?” Worried for him he pulled away to give him some breathing room. “Does your head hurt?” Gently caressing his cheek he kept his focus solely on him.  
“Does…does he have a concussion?” Minami whispered, he didn’t want to make things worse for Yuri. Nodding, Viktor looked into Yuri’s eyes. He noticed he kept closing them.  
“My head hurts so much.”  
“Let’s get you back to bed.” Waiting for Minami to give them space he helped Yuri to his feet and got him back upstairs.  
Keeping the lights off, Viktor helped Yuri back in bed.  
“Viktor?”  
Hearing his name, Viktor sat on the edge of the bed, and with a soft smile he ran his fingers through Yuri’s hair.  
“Need your pills?”  
“Viktor? Why do you insist on staying?”   
Taken aback by the question he stopped playing with his hair to lay beside him. “I’m staying because I love you and no matter what happens I will always love you. I thought I told you that?” With a smile he wished he could get Yuri to understand that while one door closed there were still a million open for him. “Now rest. You need to take it easy.”   
Yuri shut his eyes and nodded as he whispered, “but why?” to himself.  
Viktor saw Minami still downstairs talking to Yuuko. “Yuri really needs rest guys.” Viktor told him them knowing they wanted to see him.  
“I know. I just wanted to bring him this get well soon basket the girls made for him. And to let you know we are here if he needs anything.”   
Accepting the basket for Yuri he would bring it up to him in a bit. Hearing them both concerned about how serious it was Viktor was told reporters were waiting outside for the story. Yuuko saw them and snuck around another way to avoid them. Telling them about the incident since even Yuuko didn’t know exactly what happened after the ambulance came, he watched both of their faces drop.   
“He is very lucky. A spinal injury…”Yuuko covered her heart knowing the trauma her friend was dealing with. Since she had known him all he had done was skate, it was his outlet.   
“Yes he is. I’m grateful he’ll be alright in time. He doesn’t deserve anymore suffering.”  
Waking Yuri after they left he had dinner for him. “I know you are resting but you need to eat. I made dinner for you.” Helping him sit up he took the Katsudon bowl off of his desk for him.   
“You made this for me?”  
“Your mom helped. I thought the good food would help you feel better.”  
“…Thank you Viktor. Viktor?” Staring at the bowl he heard him ask if he needed something. “I want you to go back to Russia.”


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
Disclaimer-I own nothing!  
“…Thank you Viktor. Viktor?” Staring at the bowl he heard him ask if he needed something. “I want you to go back to Russia.”  
Viktor sat there, his mouth was hanging open; he had to be missing something.   
“I want you to go back because I…I’m done. You can’t coach me, I can’t help you do anything and, and I don’t want to hold you back. If you go back then you can pick up where you left off I’m sure and that’s all I want for you. I want you to do what you love.”   
Viktor felt numb he didn’t know how to respond to this. He was hoping Yuri was just going through a rough patch and wasn’t serious. “What if you’re what I love?” His mouth whispered the words his heart spoke. “Yuri. I know you’re dealing with a lot but don’t push me away.” Watching Yuri hand him back the dinner he made him he watched him curl back into bed and keep his back to him. Getting up he stumbled out of his room, closing his door he slid down it and cried. Let this be a dream, he needed this to be a dream. But, really this was what he deserved wasn’t it? If he had been a better coach and lover Yuri never would have gotten hurt. Why couldn’t Yuri push him away because of that? Why did he have to tell him to go back because he knew his future of skating was over? Why couldn’t he see that he wanted to stay because he loved him? He wanted to spend time with him because they weren’t just coach and student but he loved him. He had kissed him for God’s sake did that mean nothing to him? Was it just a thing that happened?   
Making it to his room Viktor crashed on top of his bed and hugged his pillow. He wished Makkachin wasn’t in Yuri’s room so he could snuggle and cry on him instead. Maybe if he kept telling himself Yuri needed time everything would be okay. He just had to believe that this would pass, that they would stay together. “Could I have been so stupid?” Burying his face in his pillow he played back every interaction. Perhaps, Yuri never felt the same way.   
Waking up, Viktor noticed sunlight peaking in through his window. What time was it? Searching for his phone he saw it face down on the floor, looking at the state of his sheets he could tell he tossed and turned a lot in his sleep last night. Hopefully he didn’t break it. Reaching for it he slid it closer to his fingers so he could grab it. He really didn’t want to leave his bed. The pain he felt was nothing compared to what Yuri was feeling but he couldn’t deny he still hurt. Scrolling through a couple messages from Yurio and “breaking news” from the Grand Prix he sat up and tossed his phone onto his bed before throwing his head back on to his pillow. He was being childish, wanting to lock himself in his room all day and avoid the world. He was no child, he was almost twenty-seven he needed to start acting like it. Sitting back up he hugged his pillow, well at least he was up. Makkachin should probably be taken out and he had to be fed. There, that was a good enough reason to leave the bed.   
Gently knocking on Yuri’s door he opened it to see him still in bed and Makkachin staring at him from the foot of it. “Hey boy, hungry?” He whispered. Seeing his happy face and tail wag made him smile back. He could always count on Makkachin to make him smile. Opening the door more for him he let Yuri be and did what he had to do for his dog. This would keep his mind off other things for now at least.   
“Good morning Viktor. Hun? Are you alright?” Hearing Mrs. Katsuki as he entered the kitchen he probably should have checked his appearance before he left his room this morning.   
“Good morning ma’am. I am good thank you. Hope you slept well.”  
“Did Yuri tell you something? You look upset.” Placing a bowl on the floor for Makkachin she had Viktor sit before giving him a plate she made of breakfast. He couldn’t believe she could read him so well. How long had it been since he had mother figure in his life? Leaning his head onto his arms he cried over the table. He really didn’t know what to do at this point. He didn’t know anything, should he stay, go, try to talk to Yuri, give him space, he needed some idea. Maybe he should tell him the truth then. Tell him what no one knew. But, he didn’t want Yuri to change his mind out of pity that would be stupid for it would solve nothing between them.   
“He wants me to go back. Go back to Russia, pick up where I left off.”   
“Oh dear, I’m sure he doesn’t mean that.”  
Feeling soft hands on his back he only cried harder. God it had been so long since he had someone be a mother to him. Even if she was being nice her just being here for him was something rare.   
“You really care for him don’t you?”  
Nodding, he lifted his head and wiped his eyes. “I feel awful this happened to him. Yuri is amazing and passionate and he deserved to keep going. If I had been better at what I was doing then he wouldn’t have gotten hurt. But, he doesn’t hate me. I need him to hate me.” Rubbing his eyes it felt good to tell someone that.   
“He doesn’t think you did a bad job. You’ve given him a reason to keep pushing and trying. He would hate me for saying this but he admired you so much growing up. Yuuko would come over all the time and they would just gush. It was adorable to watch.”  
Smiling a little Viktor wished he could feel like he deserved to. It was cute to picture Yuri gushing over him though. “I just wish I could make him understand. I really don’t want to lose him.”  
After talking with Mrs. Katsuki Viktor went back upstairs to get dressed for the day and see how Yuri was doing. He wanted to give him space, see if that didn’t help him change his mind but he was really worried about him and he wanted them to talk this out. Going to Yuri’s room he knocked and opened it to see Yuri sitting up and bed. Hearing him crying he let himself in and went to him. No matter what he said he didn’t want him to be alone like this. Putting his arms around him he let him cry on him for as long as he needed. He didn’t need to know why, they didn’t have to say anything, he just wanted to be here for him.  
Feeling him pull away he let Yuri go and watched as he dried his eyes.   
“How are you feeling?” Resisting the urge to touch Yuri’s cheek he placed his hands on his lap. Not getting a response he brought up what he had been thinking about all morning. “Yuri. I… I know you want me to go and, and once I know you’ll be alright I will. Out of respect for your wishes. But know that I really care about you and leaving you is the last thing I ever really wanted to do.”   
“I’m sorry….about what I said last night. I’ve been thinking too about it. And, well…I’m scared. I’m scared about what comes next for me, for us. I told you about me right? About how I never had a real relationship before. I mean I could barely make friends so how could I be with someone. I’m scared you’ll realize now that I’m not good enough for you. I mean…there is a good chance I won’t be able to do much and I don’t want you to have to take care of me forever. I don’t want to hold you back. I’d rather spend my life alone than know I’m keeping you down so you can be with me. I love you Viktor and when you love someone you have to know when to let them go, right?” Seeing him start to cry again Viktor reached over to wipe his eyes without hesitation this time. Having their eyes meet Viktor did the one thing his heart told him he had to do. Wrapping his arms around Yuri’s neck he let their lips meet. For this moment he wanted to do nothing but remind Yuri he would always be worthy of his or anyone’s love because he was an incredible human being.   
Laying in Yuri’s bed together they both had smiles on their faces. Viktor’s heart was skipping beats seeing his love smile a real smile again. He still had a journey in front of him but they were going to get through it together. They were going to become stronger and conquer every issue they faced as one.   
“I’m sorry I pushed you away Viktor. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”  
Hearing Yuri’s statement he was going to ask how he knew about that but before he could Yuri said, “When you let me go before I saw your eyes were puffy yet dry. I knew it was because of what I said.”  
Carefully bringing Yuri closer to him he couldn’t contain his wide smile. “I really do love you Yuri.” Kissing him again he made a silent promise to never break his heart. He finally understood what true love was and he was never going to throw it away.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
Disclaimer-I own nothing!  
Viktor stood upstairs looking out the second floor window at the reporters waiting for someone to come outside and say something about Yuri. He should technically, since Yuri wasn’t really allowed to stand for long periods of time or deal with a lot of heavy thought. Still, it didn’t feel right to not have him beside him. They could stay there for the day it wouldn’t hurt them. Turning away from the window he headed to his bedroom to check on the other. Yuri wanted them to cuddle earlier and he was personally all for it but Yuri’s bed was a twin and it was a tight fit for them both. Opening his bedroom door quietly in case Yuri was sleeping he stopped at what he was hearing.   
“Yuri? What’s wrong?” Coming into the room he turned on the bedside lamp on only to hear him moan even louder. Quickly turning it off he let his eyes adjust to the darkened room as he opened his arms for Yuri. “Do you have a headache still?” He had been complaining of his head pounding earlier as well. He figured it would go away like it usually did with rest. He was starting to get worried.  
“Make it stop.” Hearing Yuri start crying against his shirt Viktor tried to think of something. Maybe he should get his parents involved. It could be possible that the concussion was worse than the doctor at the hospital thought and Yuri was released too soon. He didn’t want to let this go and have him face more issues later. It didn’t help that he didn’t know a whole lot about concussions he only knew the basics. Realizing he didn’t even have the doctor’s number in his phone he carefully removed Yuri from his body and got him laying down. It was just until he got someone that could help. Whispering his motives to him he ran out of the room and downstairs to find someone.   
Coming to the kitchen he saw Yuri’s parents cooking in front of the stove.  
“Viktor dear, is everything alright?” Mrs. Katsuki asked as she saw him come running in.  
“Can…can one of you give me the number to Yuri’s doctor? He is upstairs in pain from a headache that isn’t going away. I’m getting worried.” Seeing them look at each other for a moment Mrs. Katsuki dried her hands and grabbed a book near the main phone before following Viktor upstairs. Coming to Viktor’s room she opened the door and stepped inside. Viktor stopped, seeing Yuri sitting up again clutching his head mumbling about making the pain stop. Why did he have this horrible feeling washing over him? Breaking from his thoughts he moved to the other side of the bed and placed his arm around him trying to comfort him. He was scared for the other, he didn’t know what was going on, and he didn’t know how to help.   
“Viktor can I borrow you’re phone to call the hospital? It’s late and I don’t think a doctor will see him at this hour.”   
“Of course ma’am.” Taking his phone out with his free hand he unlocked it and handed it over to her. Seeing her walk out where there was light and to not make more noise for Yuri, Viktor slid over a bit more on the bed. “It’s going to be alright Yuri I promise. We are going to get you to the doctor’s and they are going to make the pain go away.” Kissing his forehead he hoped the words he gave offered a little comfort for him.   
Viktor leaned against the waiting room wall impatiently waiting to be allowed to see Yuri. He wasn’t alone, even his parents were forced to wait outside but it didn’t make this any easier. Maybe he had pushed him too hard earlier when they were talking about their future. Yuri needed to be taking it easy not stressing out about them.  
“He will be fine dear. Why not sit and relax?” Hearing Mrs. Katsuki he tried to smile at her though he didn’t move.   
“I know. I just can’t sit still right now.” Usually when he was stressed he skated but he didn’t want to go near the ice knowing Yuri couldn’t either. Plus, he really didn’t want to leave his side. Looking at the time he wished he would hear something. They had already been here for a half hour. Jumping at someone coming into the room he saw it was a nurse. *Please let it be Yuri’s*  
“Mr. and Mrs. Katsuki?” At those words Viktor leaned closer. He knew he wasn’t family but he was still worried and he knew he would find out one way or another. “Yuri will be just fine. The doctor has decided to bring him in for an MRI as soon as someone is available. He is complaining of a severe headache and simple tests show he is having trouble concentrating. Have you noticed any mood swings or changes in behavior?” At that Viktor realized he was being stared at. Giving a slight nod he felt horrible for not doing something sooner. What if there was something seriously wrong and he was too stupid to realize it before.  
“Viktor? Did you notice he was acting differently?” With Mrs. Katsuki’s voice he felt his voice get stuck in his throat.  
“Y…yes. Last night he was…when he wasn’t sleeping…he seemed back and forth for what he wanted and how he felt and…he is going to be okay right?”  
“He’ll need a few days rest here but should be just fine sir.” Seeing the nurse smile he felt a little better but, he needed to see Yuri for himself.   
Finally walking into Yuri’s room he took a deep breath seeing his eyes were shut but he looked okay. He waited outside when Yuri’s parents came in since he wasn’t a part of his family, though he really hoped one day he would be. Shaking his head from that thought he leaned over the bed and took Yuri’s hand. Seeing his eyes flutter open he couldn’t help himself from taking a deep breath and smiling.  
“Hi Yuri. Is your head feeing even a little better?” Feeling Yuri tighten the grip on their hands he started to frown.  
“Viktor. I’m scared. MRI’s, tests, what if they if find something? The doctor was asking me all sorts of questions, I lost consciousness when I hit the ice, I didn’t even realize that. It wasn’t long but…”  
“Don’t start thinking the worst. You’ll be fine. They just want to cover their bases. You were in a lot of pain at the house.”  
“I’m glad...glad you didn’t really leave. I feel stronger having you here beside me.”   
Seeing the blush on Yuri’s face he couldn’t help his own face from turning pink. Kissing their hands he reached back to move a chair closer. He wasn’t going anyway until they forced him out. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise. No matter what you say I am going to sit here and help you get better.”  
“I love you, I hope you know that.”   
Viktor’s mouth was hanging open, while those words weren’t the first time they left either of their mouths this was the first time that was all that was said.   
“After I’m better let’s travel for a bit. I loved the grand prix finals because each year they were someplace new.”  
“Let’s do it. I’ll take you anywhere.”  
“Can you show me your home?”  
Seeing Yuri focus on him Viktor focused on their hands. “There isn’t much to see.”  
“I doubt that. I could see you living quite well in this nice large apartment, or a house. Yea. I see you living in a nice house.”   
Trying to smile and laugh at the vision Viktor just bit his lip. “We can discuss that later. Just don’t want to get your hopes up on what to expect. Why not rest for a bit? I don’t want your headache to come back.”  
“Viktor? It’s…it’s a little embarrassing to ask this but. But, can you stay a little longer if I do shut my eyes?”  
“I have no plans to be anywhere else.” Leaning over he gave him a solid kiss to try to relax him. “So relax and I’ll keep you safe.”   
Yawning, Yuri shifted around to get comfortable though making sure their hands never parted. “I want to see you skate again. I can’t…but I love watching….you…”yawning again he was asleep a few moments later. Viktor wished his heart would get its act together. He wasn’t sure how many times it had skipped beats in the last hour. Yuri couldn’t have been serious could he? He could put something together though probably. There was this one idea that kept floating around but there was no way he could even try to work out all the details. What was he thinking? Yuri was hurt, he probably didn’t even know what he was saying. Then again, he would do anything he asked for him. Caressing his cheek he rested his own cheek on their hands as he watched his sleeping prince.   
“I love you too Yuri.”


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
Disclaimer-I own nothing!  
Viktor walked around the hospital while he waited for Yuri to get done with his MRI. He didn’t have to leave the room but he felt this would be easier to pass the time. Yuri’s parents were walking around as well, he believed his mother wanted to call the house and keep them up to date with what was going on. Coming to the gift shop he stepped inside to look around. He wasn’t looking for anything and he didn’t really plan to get anything but what better way to kill time then by shopping? Looking around he heard the clerk welcome him and see if there was something she could help him with. Thanking her but telling her that wouldn’t be necessary he continued to browse. Stopping at the flower bouquets he wondered if Yuri had a favorite flower. Come to think of it there was still a lot about the other he didn’t know. Maybe this was a good thing for them then. They could use this time to learn more about each other than instead of solely focusing on the grand prix.   
“Are you looking for flowers for your mother, sir? Or a girlfriend? The sets over here are the most popular we have.” Seeing the clerk beside he smiled down at her.   
“Boyfriend actually. But, I don’t know if he is a flower person. Thank you though.” Looking back at the rack he debated what he should do. Yuri would be stuck here a couple of days at least and the room was so dull.   
“You…You are Viktor Nikiforov aren’t you?”  
“I am.” Smiling back at her he made sure he didn’t seem rude. He hated when people were rude to others.  
“I don’t want to intrude on your personal life but please tell Yuri we are wishing for a steady recovery. A few of us here are big fans of his and hope he gets well soon.”  
“I will. Thank you.” It warmed his heart to hear her say that. Yuri always made it sound like he was alone out here outside of his family but he really didn’t believe that. This town and its people loved him.  
“Oh! Actually! Since you are here. This is from us.” Seeing her run over to the register she pulled out a few things. “We had heard he was admitted and we all wanted to show our support to him. Once one of the other workers came back I was going to give this to him but this works even better.” Handing him the bag he pulled her into a tight hug.  
“I will be sure to give this to him as soon as I see him. Thank you so much.” Letting her go he looked around a bit more and decided to buy a simple bouquet. Getting everything to work with his hands he headed back to Yuri’s room hoping he was back. Seeing the room still empty minus his parents he arranged the few things in the room and sat with them to wait. They weren’t really talking about much but he felt it was only right to try and be courteous. They were really great people, he felt so honored to know them and be considered a part of their lives.   
Seeing Yuri coming back in they all stood to get out of the way. Once he was settled Viktor hung out in the back of the room, he was just happy to see him back. He looked exhausted but he was with them and at the end of the day that was what mattered. Together they could work on everything else.   
“So. What did you do while I was busy?” Looking over at the stuff on the little nightstand Yuri had a teasing smile on his face. They were alone right now anyway and it was too quiet. Sitting on the edge of the bed with him Viktor smiled back while he grabbed a flower from the vase.   
“These are from me. Everything else is from your adoring fans downstairs.”   
“What fans?” Taking the flower from him Viktor shook his head at his young lover. That boy still didn’t get it did he?  
“The people that work the gift shop are fans of yours. Really I’m not surprised. This town loves you.”  
“I’m just the local skater is all.” Watching his face fall Viktor quickly leaned over to kiss his cheek. Being pushed away he tried not to be too hurt by it. This was bound to come up a few times for them. Feeling Yuri take his hand he watched as he held it close to his heart. “Do you think…do you think I’ve let everyone down Viktor? After everything my parents, Yuuko, and Minako have done for me, do you think they hate me now?”   
Seeing tears start to fall from Yuri’s eyes he let go of their hands to keep his body close.   
“Never say that. You’ve let no one down. Can you honestly look at your parents and say that?” This explained why Yuri could never meet his mother’s gaze, or why he always looked ready to cry when they spoke. Feeling Yuri wrap his arms around him to hug him tightly Viktor let him as he was. Maybe Yuri was trying so hard not for him or themselves but for all the people that believed in him. Maybe that was why he wanted the gold.  
Viktor kept his arm around Yuri’s shoulders when the doctor came back with the MRI results. His parents were here for him as well but he now understood that that didn’t mean it would be easier to handle whatever he said. Getting a clean bill of health Viktor hugged Yuri tightly, he was getting really scared for him. He had to continue to take it easy once he was released and needed to stay with supervision. They could handle that. He already told Yuri he wasn’t going to leave his side until he was better, though he had no plans to ever leave his side. He just wanted to see him back on his feet. They would still have to deal with his spinal injury but one step at a time. The back could heal with rest he would get from the concussion.  
After the good news it was decided by Yuri that his parents would go home because they had to run the springs. Viktor was going to stay here until he was forced out by the nurses, though they both knew he would rather just convince them to let him stay. Alone in the room Yuri was cuddled up against Viktor who was holding him close. Once they were alone he fell asleep in Viktor’s arms who had no intention of waking Yuri or ruining this moment. Feeling his pocket going off he carefully dug around for it to see it was Yurio asking about Yuri. Despite how angry that boy was over what he decided he sure seemed to be concerned over his health.  
“He is resting, but he will be okay.”  
“He better come back next season.”   
“Yurio…this is between us but Yuri can’t.”  
“WHAT?!” Seeing his phone go off in his hand from Yurio calling him he debated answering it or just letting it ring. If he ignored it though he wouldn’t stop calling. “What do you mean he can’t come back?!”  
“Ssh, He is sleeping beside me so keep your voice down. Look I’d rather not go into detail but he isn’t allowed to skate anymore. Something happened and the doctor said further activity in the sport could lead to irreversible damage.”  
“So then. Are you coming back here?”  
“I…I doubt it.”  
“But why?!” Feeling Yuri shift in his arms he watched to make sure he hadn’t woken up.  
“We can talk about that later.”  
“How could you stay? What do you see in him?”  
“I don’t expect you to understand. You’re young. Now I have to go. We can talk about this all later when I have the time.”  
“You’ve changed Viktor. The man I knew is dead.” Hearing the phone go silent Viktor put it back in his pocket; that could have gone better.  
“That was Yurio, wasn’t it?” At Yuri’s voice Viktor had his eyes on him.  
“Did I wake you?”  
“He has every right to hate me. After everything you’ve done for me and this is my thanks to you.”  
“Stop that Yuri. You know full well I don’t think that.”  
“Tomorrow, tell the reporters the truth. Let them leave my parents place alone.”  
“Are you sure? I don’t want them to harass you with questions.” He didn’t even know Yuri knew about that.  
“They can’t come inside here and the sooner this is over with the sooner I can fade from existence.”   
“Stop talking like that, you scare me when you do.” Hugging him tightly Viktor wished Yuri never had these thoughts. Even if they meant nothing he didn’t want to lose him, he didn’t want to see him feel like he meant nothing.  
“It’s stupid to believe that things will go back to normal though. Once my concussion is gone I’m still forbidden from skating. I can’t even teach it probably. I have let down so many people.”   
“You’ve let no one down but yourself by thinking you can’t do anything. I understand it won’t be easy at first to do anything but I know you will find something you will be amazing at.”  
Seeing Yuri stare at him with those eyes of wonderment Viktor saw the man he loved for the first time since this incident.   
0o0o00


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
Disclaimer-I own nothing!  
Viktor came into his room to see Yuri sitting up in his bed, he was so glad he was back home again. They had taken care of the press the other day so he had nothing to worry about. He still had concussion symptoms and he was still basically confined to the bed because of that and his back but, he was home and they were together. His mood seemed to be improving too which was lovely to see. Though, there was a laptop opened in front of him.  
“Yuri? What are you doing with my laptop? The doctor said you should avoid focusing on things.”  
“The grand prix starts today. I won’t watch all of it but, I…I would like to support our friends.”  
Climbing into bed he pulled his laptop over to him and unlocked it. Honestly he forget why he created the password lock in the first place but he never bothered to turn it off. “If I do this you have to promise me you’ll stop the second you don’t feel right. No straining. Are we clear?”  
“Yes, I promise I’ll be good. I’d rather not go back to the hospital.” Sliding over towards Viktor he rested his head on his shoulder. Viktor looked over at him and smiled for a moment before he pulled everything up. Yuri seemed rather clingy since the accident, it was a nice touch. Normally, he had to start most of their intimate interactions but lately he noticed Yuri was more open about them cuddling and being close. Maybe it was from the accident, or maybe it was from something on his mind, either way he wasn’t going to push him away. Getting the livestream open Viktor shifted a bit so they both could see the screen. Seeing the ranking for everyone Viktor moved the monitor so Yuri wouldn’t stare at it the entire time it was on.   
“Why not rest a bit and as they come up I’ll make sure you are awake for it?” Trying to reach a compromise he knew this was hard on his young lover. This was what he worked so hard on, he should have been there too.  
“I guess. I’m not that tired though. I guess I am too excited. Maybe it’s a sign I’m getting better.”  
“Maybe. But that doesn’t mean to push yourself.”  
“I won’t overdue it. I’ve learned my lesson. I’m going to be good.” Fixing the covers, Yuri got settled to listen to the event. Viktor knew that tone though, he knew this was going to get to him.  
“We don’t have to watch this. I can just check the rankings tonight after the short program.” Seeing Yuri just shake his head he moved his bangs. “Do you want to talk Yuri? You know I’m right here.”   
“I’m fine Viktor just drop it.” With the attitude he could hear forming Viktor let it go for now. He was really worried about Yuri slipping into even a small bought of depression. He didn’t know much about his past but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t possible. Even before they started working together Yuri’s whole life was skating he could imagine this being tough on him. It was one thing to take a season off but it was another to know you could never skate again.   
Viktor sat up in bed with his head resting on his knees while the final played in the background, Yuri laid beside him staying quiet. He knew he was thinking heavily on things again but wasn’t up to fighting with him to talk about it.   
“Yuri, Yurio is up next.” Seeing him sit up Viktor moved the laptop between them. So far they had seen Phichit skate after Michele Crispino. Viktor was surprised to see Yuri had no interest in watching Michele skate or even to hear his score. Maybe it was too painful knowing the only reason he was even there was because he had to drop out. Phichit had done well and they sent him a text after. Viktor couldn’t hide his smile of excitement from the response they got back though Yuri didn’t seem to care all that much. Why did he continue to watch this if it was hurting him? As Yurio took the ice they noticed he seemed pissed about something. “I wonder if something happened before this.” Viktor was curious if this had anything to do with their phone conversation the other night when Yuri was still in the hospital. He knew he was upset with him for deciding not to come back.   
“Did he raise his arm for that?” Yuri asked as he rested against Viktor.  
“Yes. More points. I know he was really trying to score higher than JJ.”  
“I’m sure he can do it. He has come a long way.”  
“He has your right. You know, you have too.”  
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Not saying another word Yuri stayed quiet as he watched. Viktor could see he had to look away for a moment as the movement on the screen was getting to him. Before he could mention about stopping, Yurio’s program was finished. Both sat with their mouths open as they heard his score, it wasn’t surprising considering what he had just done.  
“He beat your world record.”  
“I am honored it was him.”  
“Really?”  
“Yes. It is rewarding to see a friend and rink mate come so far. And I told him I would give a program he could win with if he worked for it.”  
“You’re going to have to work really hard to come up with something to beat that score.”  
“Who ever said I was going to try?”  
“The season is over Viktor you have no reason to stay and since I’ve been forced to retire you aren’t my coach anymore.”  
“Yuri, why do you keep bringing up my leaving? I keep telling you I have no reason to go back. I don’t want to go back.” He needed to know why Yuri kept insisting he go back to Russia and pick up his career. They had talked about sightseeing after he was cleared for travel so what had changed to bring this up again? And, he wasn’t going to hide the pain in his heart when he heard Yuri tell him he wasn’t his coach anymore. Yes, he understood Yuri had to retire early for his health but that didn’t mean he would leave and coach someone else or go back into the competitive season. Feeling tears stinging his eyes he shifted off the bed so his legs could hang over.  
“Viktor?”   
“What?” Looking over his shoulder he felt bad that he sounded angry but he was hurt.  
“I…You’re crying…”  
“Yea. Well I’m angry. Angry that I thought we...that after everything there was something between us but I guess I was just being stupid. I’ll always be just your coach.” Getting up he slipped his shoes on before leaving the room for some fresh air.   
Viktor wasn’t that surprised when he walked into Ice Castle, whenever he was upset over something his body went to skating to deal with it. Opening the locker Yuuko kept free for them he grabbed his skates and put them on. His feet were happy to have them back on his feet. It had been a while. Coming to the ice he put the guards on the ledge and hit the ice. His eyes still let the tears fall every so often. He was heartbroken, truly heartbroken. He really thought they were together, that there was something real between them that went deeper than the coach student bond. How foolish he had been to see it all just lies he was telling himself. Yuri didn’t love him. The conversation of their future always came up because there was no mutual feelings between them. Great, he probably looked like a creep with his arms always around him and then he kissed him in front of the world. Ha! He was such an idiot.  
Landing after a double toe loop he fell to his knees and cried. For the first time he felt the pain of heartbreak. Yuri wasn’t his first relationship but it was the first time he was broken up with and Yuri was the first person he loved since everything back home. Maybe they were right, maybe he just wasn’t allowed to be loved.   
He wasn’t sure how long he had been crying but feeling a hand on his shoulder his head snapped up to see Yuuko in front of him.  
“Viktor? What’s wrong? I didn’t know any one was here and we were going to close up.”  
“Sorry Yuuko. I didn’t mean to cause anyone trouble.”  
“No it’s not…I’m worried about you.” Helping him to his feet they left the ice and went into the locker room. “Did something happen? Is it about Yuri?”  
Hearing her ask about him he shook his head. “It’s not what you think. Tell me Yuuko, do you…am I, do I come off as a creep? As someone who has misread signs he thought were there?”  
“I don’t think you’re a creep at all. Tell me what’s going on. You know I consider you a dear friend and want to be there for you.” Feeling her place her hand on his knee he dried his eyes and told her what happened back at the house.  
“I get it, I really do. He is under a lot of stress and is worried about his future and he feels he let everyone down by not listening and pushing himself to hard. I get that the concussion can cause mood swings and that is why we can be together and fine one moment and the next he is agitated but. But, I don’t know, I really thought I meant something to him.”  
“You do mean something to him I know you do. You are more important to him than he is letting on. I’ve known Yuri since we were kids and he has always admired and fawned over you. Maybe he is scared about how he feels. I know he had a hard time believing you were really here to coach him when you started. But, I’ve seen the way he looks at you and the connection you both share can be seen by everyone you meet. If you left he would be lost. Look, Viktor, Yuri had this dream of making you proud as he won the gold of the Grand Prix. Knowing that dream is dead he doesn’t know what else to do to make you proud.”  
Coming back home Viktor slowly made his way up the stairs to his room where he knew Yuri would be. He felt a little better after talking with Yuuko. He was able to understand parts of Yuri that he couldn’t uncover before. Even so, he still felt heartbroken and lost. Maybe what he had been told in the past was just really haunting him. Opening his bedroom door he saw Yuri laying in his bed, his laptop was still on though it was asleep. Stepping closer to the bed Yuri turned around and slid his phone over.  
“Yurio called after you left.”  
“I see. Do you know what he wanted?”  
“Call him back when you can.”  
“Oh. Okay.” Sitting on the edge of the bed he looked down at his phone, his lock screen was a selfie of him and Yuri while they were at the Cup of China.   
“Viktor?”  
“Yes Yuri?”  
“Do you really feel like I don’t love you back?”  
Turning his body better to face him he saw the lamp light hitting Yuri’s face, it looked like he had been crying too.   
“I never said that.”  
“I’m sorry. Sorry about what I said earlier. I know I keep apologizing and saying and doing the same things over and over again but. Viktor, you’re the first person to make me happy. You’re not just my coach to me, our first kiss in China was the deciding factor for that. It’s just that I honestly don’t know why you’d even bother to put up with me and since the one thing I had to make you stay is gone I felt that, well, maybe if I pushed you away it wouldn’t be so hard if you left.”   
“Yuri.” Climbing into bed he put his arms around him and brought their bodies close. “I keep telling you I love you but I really love you. I know you keep telling yourself I’m going to find some reason to leave but I love you and I don’t want to go anywhere. If I had wanted to leave don’t you think I would have by now?”  
“Can we…can we take things slow for a while? Maybe once I’m able to leave the house we go on an official date?”  
“You’ve never been on a real date before have you?”  
“No. I keep telling you I’ve never been in a relationship before.”  
“Sorry. Yes. Let’s make a plans for a date once you are able. Let’s take things slow.”  
“I want to know all about you Viktor. All the things you’ve never told your fans.”   
Hearing Yuri yawn Viktor had him shut his eyes. He didn’t know if they were officially a couple again but so long as he got to stay here with Yuri he was happy.   
“I’ll tell you everything Yuri, I promise.”  
0o0o0o0o0o0o0


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
Disclaimer- I own nothing!  
Viktor knew he should call Yurio back before it got too late there but he really wasn’t in the mood to get yelled at again for deciding to stay in Japan. He knew he wouldn’t understand his reasoning since he was still so young and naïve but it would be childish to ignore him. Since Yuri was asleep in the bed he left the room to call him back.   
“Did your pig see that one?”  
“We are both happy for you. You’ve come a long way.”  
“Shut up! You don’t get to tell me that!”  
“Why do you hate me Yurio? Is it because I said I wasn’t coming back? Did you want to compete against me too?”  
“Not everyone loves you. Get over yourself.”  
“Well. Either way, I’m really happy for you. I know you’ll do well tomorrow and you won’t have so much pressure with JJ where he is at now.”  
“Just stop talking.”  
“So then, why did you tell Yuri to have me call you back?”  
“I didn’t want to hear his voice.”  
“What do you have against him?”  
“He is weak and pathetic. He only got so far because you had to change your life and coach him.”  
“If you truly knew him you wouldn’t say that.”  
“Doubt it.”  
“Look. I, I really don’t have to explain myself to you. Accept the facts as they are Yuri, I’m probably not coming back and I am really proud of you.” Hanging up with him he never realized he called him by his actual name. He had dealt with enough arguing for one day he didn’t want to deal with it anymore. Going downstairs for water he thought about before. He liked the idea of going slow with Yuri, to have an actual date with him. They spent a lot of time alone on the ice but that was different than this. He could actually spend time with him doing what others couples do, something he had never really done before.  
Coming back upstairs he stayed quite so he wouldn’t wake Yuri. He looked rather cute asleep peacefully with his head and hand on the pillow. Climbing into bed he watched him sleep, it was hard not to reach for him, pull him close, hold him near. Love; what a funny word it was. All these years he hardly thought of it but now it was on his mind a lot. Maybe because he was getting older and settling down was on his mind. He would need something after he retired and while he wouldn’t use Yuri or anyone as an object to replace skating it would be nice to have someone in his life. Still, the past was creeping back up and it was giving him nightmares.   
Waking up to a Yuriless bed Viktor sat up and stretched before seeing if he was in the bathroom. What time was it anyway? Seeing it was just seven in the morning he was shocked he slept a solid ten hours. This was a first, he didn’t even do that when he was sick. Seeing the bathroom open he ran into it quickly before hunting for Yuri, the doctor wanted him to stay off his feet and avoid stairs as much as possible. If he was eating in the kitchen than he wasn’t following doctors’ orders.  
Walking past his bedroom to see the door open and Yuri sitting on the edge of his bed he stopped and went to sit beside him. Watching him cringe a bit he carefully put a hand on Yuri’s shoulder.  
“Yuri?” Looking at his eyes he saw he was in his mind. That was never good when he was healthy and it certainly wasn’t good now. Having him not say a word and only lay down on his bed Viktor was stuck watching. What was going on? What upset Yuri so much? Staying with him he didn’t want to take his eyes off him until he had answers. This was scaring him. He was fine for the most part yesterday. Hearing a vibration he realized his own phone wasn’t even on him. Looking around he saw Yuri’s on his desk, lit up. Getting up he grabbed it to make sure it wasn’t anything important. Not reading the messages he saw Phichit come up a few times, the most recent was Yurio. He wouldn’t, would he? He really didn’t want to read through Yuri’s phone but he knew Yurio had very strong feelings against Yuri right now. Putting the phone down he went back to the bed and sat on the edge looking over at the other.   
“Yuri? Did Yurio contact you?” Getting no response from him tried to think of the best way to get him to say something.   
“I should have taken my chances.”  
At the muffled words Viktor took a better look at the other. He was bunched up, his hands were pressed up against his chest, this could not be good for his back. “What are you talking about, Yuri?”  
“I need to try again. I need to compete.”  
“No you don’t. Paralyzing yourself wouldn’t solve your problems.”  
“Do you think the doctor can give me stronger pain medication?”  
“For your back? Does it hurt a lot?”  
“For the pain…here.” Pressing under his rib cage Viktor worried something else was wrong. “It hurts. I…I don’t want to keep fighting this pain. I don’t see the point of trying.”  
“Yuri. You’re scaring me.” This was what he was afraid of. After Yuri was released from the hospital the second time he did some research on concussions and he learned depression was a common side effect, as was mood swings. He already knew Yuri suffered from terrible anxiety so depression wasn’t that far away. Thinking about it, he was always sleeping, hardly eating, things he assumed was caused by the concussion but what if it wasn’t. What if this had been going on all this time and he just never realized? “Talk to me Yuri, what’s going on?” Not getting anything out of him Viktor laid down beside him. “If you are struggling I’ll do what I can to help you feel better.”   
Viktor laid with a silent Yuri all morning. He was scared to leave him alone and as much as he wanted a response about what Yurio was telling him he didn’t want to push the subject and make things worse. Seeing Makkachin come into the room and lay by Yuri’s feet Viktor got up to search for hopefully some answers. The last thing he wanted to do was read the others text messages so he had to look around for other clues. Going back into this room he got dressed and grabbed his phone. Texting Yurio good luck for later he tried to ask what happened last night. What happened when Yuri answered his phone?  
“You can keep it. I don’t need your luck I’m not that desperate.” Well, he was answering him that was a plus. Giving him a call he opened his laptop to see about the final later. If Yuri was feeling up to it they could watch it but he wasn’t going to force him.  
“What?”  
“What did you tell Yuri last night when he answered my phone?”  
“Why is it your business?”  
“Look, I really don’t get the issue you have with him but right now he is dealing with a lot and you attacking him isn’t helping. Please, I’m not asking for a lot just to show him some compassion. How would you like if this was you?”  
“I’m not as weak as he is I don’t have to worry.”  
“He isn’t either. This happened because I pushed him too hard. I wanted him to win a gold in my place and because of that he felt the need to keep going even though he was exhausted.”  
“You chose him.”  
“Only because I couldn’t coach a brat like you.” Spitting those words out he stopped and looked up to see Yuri in the doorway. How long had he been there? Hearing Yurio hang up on him with disgust he dropped his arm.  
“Is that why you chose me?”  
“No…Yuri that isn’t…” Before he could try to get more words out Yuri had turned around and left the doorway. Going after him he stopped outside of his door as it was slammed shut in front of him. “Yuri listen to me, please. You don’t know what we were talking about. I chose you because when I watched you back then I could feel your love and see your story. I chose you because what I saw back then was the same thing I saw on my phone when I watched that video of you copying my routine. I came here because you asked me to but I stayed because you captured my heart.” Hearing nothing Viktor placed his head against the door. He wished they would stop fighting so much, he missed when they could just laugh and he would keep Yuri close. Falling forward he caught himself before he fell over as the door slid open.  
“I never asked you come here.” Freezing in his place Viktor was trying to make sure he heard correctly. Did he just say what he thought he said?  
“Yuri…Do you not remember?”  
“What are you talking about?” Moving aside Viktor stepped into Yuri’s room to stand there as Yuri sat at his desk and watched him. “I never asked you to come here. In fact I couldn’t even talk to you when I actually met you. Knowing that video went viral was a nightmare for me.”   
Pulling out his phone Viktor unlocked it and opened up to his pictures. “I knew you were probably too wasted to remember you asking me to come here but I thought…I figured you had some memories of that night.” Handing Yuri his phone he let him scroll through the pictures of the night of the banquet after last year’s Grand Prix. “Dancing with you was the highlight of the final for me. I waited a bit because there were things I had to sort out for myself but I couldn’t get your passion out of my head. When I saw that video of you I knew I had to do it. I had to follow my heart.” Watching Yuri’s face change with each picture Viktor knew he didn’t remember anything from that night. It was upsetting because he felt they had such a strong connection then. At the same time though, he dropped everything to come here and even though he didn’t remember anything, Yuri accepted him with open arms. They truly had something special.   
“I…I take after my father then…I can’t believe I was this wasted.” Giving him back his phone Yuri looked defeated.   
“I had so much fun that night. Dancing with you was amazing. I hope one day we can do it again.” Smiling at Yuri he reached over and grabbed his hands. “I chose you because believe it or not, this was the night I fell in love with you. Hot Springs on Ice was the day I fell in love with you all over again.”  
“I want to dance with you too, Viktor. I…I’ve been thinking, about when I go back to the doctors. I want to talk him about fixing my back. If I need surgery I...I might take that risk to correct a problem.”  
“The idea of you going in for surgery scares me but I’ll support you. I’ll always support you. But Yuri, really, are you alright? Earlier you really worried me.” Kneeling down he kept their hands together as he watched him with the sincerest of eyes. If Yuri was dealing with something he would help him through it.   
“I…” Having their eyes meet he saw Yuri look towards the floor. “I can’t be stuck here anymore Viktor. Every day I waste here is another day I feel like things would have been better if I was dead. All I see is pity in the eyes of those around me. And all I do is keep you near me, you don’t do anything but sit beside me. You wouldn’t know this but…I came home because I got really depressed after last year’s final. I got tired of people always calling to check up on me because I wouldn’t leave my room so I decided to fly back. I’ve always gained weight easily but it’s really easy when you don’t move from one place for days. After I booked my flight I spent some time in the rink practicing your piece. I don’t know why I did it. But, I got really low then and when I…well a little voice went off in my head and I had this new drive to start again. Maybe I remembered how I felt when I danced with you. Maybe I was just stronger than I thought.” Letting go of their hands Yuri hugged himself and turned his body away from the other.   
Viktor felt his heart start beating again as his body moved to bring Yuri back towards him. He didn’t need to know what Yuri had done back then but to know that there had been a moment where their futures would have been rewritten, he couldn’t bear the thought.   
“I know I can’t just make it all go away for you but please know you aren’t alone anymore.” Touching his cheek he felt Yuri nod into his hand. Was he the only one he ever told this to? Having this idea come to his mind he, and an old conversation come back up he wondered if he could do it, if it would make him smile.   
“Having you in my life has been the most amazing blessing I could have ever received. You truly saved my life Viktor.”


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
Disclaimer- I own nothing!  
Viktor carefully sat on his bed trying to make sure he didn’t make a mess with the lunch he made for Yuri. He knew Yuri wasn’t really eating but he always tried.   
“Here Yuri.” Handing him the plate they had the Prix open waiting for it to start.   
“Thanks.” Taking it from him he noticed it just sat on his lap.  
“You really should eat something. Is my cooking really that bad?” Laughing at his joke, he noticed Yuri didn’t even smile at it.  
“I never said I didn’t like it.” Watching him force a bite, Viktor moved a little closer to him.  
“Telling you that seeing you this way worries me I know helps nothing but well, I just want you to be okay.” Resting his head on Yuri’s shoulder he tried to think of something that would help the other.   
“I’m sorry I told you about that, I didn’t want to scare you.”  
“No, I am glad you did. I want to be there for you Yuri. I don’t want you to be alone.” Sitting up he met the others eyes and smiled. Seeing him smile back Viktor leaned over to kiss him. When they parted he noticed Yuri’s cheeks were red. “I’ll stop, you should eat.” It was just a little something because he didn’t know how to cook much as it was and he knew even less with Japanese food.   
Believing things would go back to normal in time Viktor ignored the lack of eating once again and shifted to sit behind Yuri to wrap his arms around his waist.   
“Same rules still apply. No straining.” He whispered to Yuri, who just nodded. They didn’t watch any more than yesterday but this was still nice. Viktor loved being able to keep Yuri close to him like this. He knew he needed a change of scenery but he was still trying to think of what would work. He also didn’t want to do anything that would ultimately do more harm than good for his partner. “I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day.”  
“Oh?” Turning his head a bit Yuri watched him.  
“If I go back for the next season I want you to come with me.”  
“You want me to go back with you? To Russia?”  
“It’s the only way I’ll go back. I’m not going to leave you here. And I’ve never really been a fan of long distance relationships.”  
“I have always wanted to see St. Petersburg.”  
“It is beautiful.”  
“I would love to see where you grew up and what you did there.”  
“I wouldn’t expect too much.”  
“You keep saying that. Why? Your family will be glad to see you I figure.”   
Trying to get the words out he stopped as he saw Phichit take to the ice. He was rooting for him. He was a good friend for Yuri too, plus all his passion and practice really showed, he deserved to stand on the podium.   
Not wanting to talk about what was brought up before he made sure the subject changed after they saw Phichit’s score. He knew he wouldn’t always be able to avoid the subject but for now he would rather forget it. Talking and joking around a bit while they waited for Christophe to come up.   
Feeling Yuri shiver in his arms Viktor hugged him tighter while they watched the monitor.  
“Cold?”   
“No…Christophe just…well I mean…look at that.” Yuri pointed out as they watched Chris squeeze his butt. Laughing, Viktor could see why it would bother his lover, it could be a little much at times.   
“He does ooze confidence though. Competing against him was always fun.”  
“He oozes a lot of things.” Feeling Yuri shiver again Viktor kissed his neck with a smile on his lips.   
Watching the winners take the podium they weren’t surprised when Yurio won the gold and Otabek and JJ took silver and bronze. They both were surprised JJ had placed considering what happened to him yesterday and his rough start today but Yurio’s history making win made it impossible for Viktor not to smile. He wasn’t going to bother calling him to congratulate him but that didn’t change how he felt. Sending a message to Chris and Phichit on a great grand prix Viktor showed the messages of thanks to Yuri.  
“They keep asking how you are doing.”  
“What have you been telling them?”  
“That you are getting better every day.” Seeing Yuri smile he was glad he seemed to be feeling better. He wouldn’t say that the issues he was dealing with had vanished but he was happy to see he could make him smile.  
“Can I borrow your phone? I’d like to call Phichit.” Handing Yuri his phone he flirted around with him until he heard Phichit answer. His heart was relieved to see Yuri in a better mood. Not wanting to be a distraction Viktor carefully moved away so Yuri could chat on the phone in peace. Not getting far he was called out by Yuri.  
“Phichit wants to talk to you for a minute.” Taking his phone from him he asked what was up.  
“I would like your thoughts on something.”  
Viktor skated across the ice working on a little piece that was brewing inside of him since the other day. Yuri was at the doctors seeing how the concussion was doing and to get his back reexamined. He seemed to be doing better with the headaches and feeling dizzy but he was still in pain if he stood too long or moved too much. Hopefully everything was alright and it was just taking longer to heal. He wished he could have gone but Yuri thought it was strange for him to join him, they weren’t anything more but dating after all. This did give him a chance to work on a few things for Yuri though so he was glad for that. And, he had a huge surprise for him later. He knew Yuri would appreciate it. Stopping to take a breather he didn’t realize how out of shape he was getting. His stamina wasn’t as strong as Yuri’s but he never had to break this quickly. Well, he had been doing nothing but lounging around since Yuri got hurt and unlike his partner he was eating all the time. Maybe he would tell Yuri that; he didn’t have to worry about gaining weight from his injuries because he was doing it for him. Hearing his phone going off on the ledge he quickly ran to it before it went to voicemail. He knew that ringtone; that was Yuri. He must be out.   
“Hello Yuri. How did things go?”   
“Are you home?”  
“No. I’m at Ice Castle. Is everything okay?” Hearing him avoid the previous question made him nervous. Moving towards the exit he figured he should head back in case Yuri needed him.  
“Yea, pretty much. We just got back and I didn’t see you. I couldn’t remember if you said you had something to do today.”  
“I’ll be back soon.” Hearing his phone go off in his ear he noticed he had a text message from Chris. “I’ll have to call you right back Yuri.” Rushing off the phone he opened the other message and text him back.   
Coming inside the springs he headed upstairs to see Yuri. He wanted to make sure he was awake before he surprised him. Seeing him sitting up his bed with Makkachin resting on his lap he noticed he was propped up better than he used to be.  
“Welcome back.”   
“You look comfy.”  
“I hurt so much. I could barely walk out of the office.”  
Sitting beside him he put his arm around Yuri’s shoulders making sure not to shift him.  
“What did they do?”  
“They wanted to do another scan and wanted me to flex a bit, see if my motion was being affected. I saw stars at one point. It’s safe to say I damaged at least two disks.”  
Kissing his temple Viktor wished he could do something to help him. “I’m sorry you are in so much pain. Let me know what I can do to help you. But, I do…” Before he could finish the thought he heard a knock at the bedroom door. Both looked up to see Christophe and Phichit in the doorway.  
“So much for you guys waiting downstairs.” Viktor went ignored as he heard Yuri stumble a “what are you guys doing here?” before Phichit ran in to get to Yuri. Hearing him start screaming Phichit let him go.  
“Yuri! Oh my God, I am so sorry!” Phichit jumped back and kept his distance while Viktor moved off the bed to move around and try to help him somehow.   
Shaking his head he tried to breathe again before he did anything else.   
“No…no you’re fine Phichit. Please don’t worry about it. I…I damaged my back and today was…” taking another deep breathe Viktor watched him try to make himself feel better. “Viktor…can you…I have a heating pad in my room…could you grab it for me…forgot before.”  
“Of course Yuri. I’ll be right back.” Running out he grabbed it and ran back in to get it working for him.  
Once he was feeling better everyone settled in the room. Viktor stayed close to Yuri by sitting on the edge of the bed while Phichit climbed on it to sit beside him and not risk hurting him again. Christophe stood at the foot of the bed and watched them.   
“So, you’re in bad shape then Yuri?” Hearing Christophe’s question Viktor was surprised he asked. He had known from the start how bad things were.  
“Yea. I…today I found out I damaged two disks and one is pressing on my spinal cord. I can have the disks repaired and the one that shifted put back but it’s going to be a painful recovery. Plus, if something goes wrong it could really do more harm than good.”  
“What happened? I asked Viktor when I heard the news but he never told me. And you never returned any of my calls,” Phichit asked.  
Seeing Yuri look at Viktor for a second with a questioning look Viktor said nothing.   
“Sorry. I…texting is really hard for me right now so I haven’t been looking at my phone. It was nothing personal. I wasn’t trying to hide things from you Phichit. You know I consider you a really good friend.” Looking at Phichit and Chris, Yuri took a deep breathe. Viktor took his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. “I…practicing for the Grand Prix I messed up. I was trying really hard to land the quadruple flip and well….I couldn’t. I didn’t land right and rolled across the ice and hit my head giving myself a level three concussion. The fall also caused me to damage my back.”  
“So Viktor failed to teach you properly.” Hearing Christophe open his mouth Viktor looked at him before his eyes dropped to the floor. At least someone was blaming him for this the way they should be.  
“No. Viktor had nothing to do with this. I…I was stupid. I was exhausted from the hours of practice I was putting in. When he told me to stop and rest I didn’t and I pushed myself harder. I was too physically exhausted to attempt it but I did anyway and when I jumped I put excess force into it to make up for the exhaustion I was feeling. This is on me and I accept the blame for it.” Kissing his temple again Viktor still felt guilty that he couldn’t stop this from happening.  
Realizing it was getting later in the afternoon Viktor decided to grab lunch for everyone. Christophe decided to help him and check this place out, he had never been to a Japanese hot springs before. Leaving Yuri and Phichit in his room to talk and hangout, he was sure Yuri was hoping they could talk privately anyway.  
“He is done isn’t he?” Christophe asked once they were downstairs and out of ear shot.  
“Yea. He hasn’t publicly come out and announced his retirement but he can’t keep skating. The doctor told him if he has another seriously fall the chances of it permanently damaging his spine are high.”  
“So what are you going to do?”  
“Honestly, I don’t know. He wants me to go back to Russia and compete again. I won’t go without him. And I have no desire to coach anyone else. But, I’ll have to do something. I don’t have enough saved up to never work again.”  
“Poor spender?”   
“Not really. Everyone thinks I am loaded with money and yes. I am not struggling but it won’t last me forever.”  
“Plus, don’t you have a place back in Russia?”  
Shaking his head he let Christophe into the kitchen first. “I had an apartment but when I came here I let it go. I’ve never told Yuri that, and I never told him that what I brought over that didn’t fit in my room is in a storage unit.”  
“You really thought about the long term didn’t you?”  
Trying to laugh at the joke that wasn’t made Viktor was glad they were alone. “Not really. I just…things came up and I was given the chance to leave so I did. We both know I wasn’t inspired to compete this season. I honestly think that if I had competed I would have done as well as I had. My heart wasn’t in it this time around.”  
“What gave? Bored always winning?”  
“I lived to surprise my fans. Every piece had that element in mind but I didn’t know what else I could do. Plus, well, you’ll laugh I’m sure but after last year I realized I wanted more out of my life than skating and practice. I am getting to that point where I have to think about retiring and when I do I want to be able to settle down. I can’t settle down if I kept going and well…I can’t stay in Russia if I found someone. Yuri offered me a chance to let me plot things out and think things through so I took it.”  
When they came back upstairs they saw Phichit’s head resting on Yuri’s leg while they talked. It had been so long since he saw Yuri this happy. His face had color in it while they joked around. Viktor was so glad they decided to come by when they could. Handing everyone lunch they all sat and talked. It was so rare for them to all come together when they weren’t at a competition. Knowing they planned to stay a couple of days to sightsee a bit and to hang out with Yuri they figured out where everyone would stay. Phichit could take Yuri’s room and Chris could have the only other room that was available right now.   
“Hey Viktor.” Hearing Phichit call his name Viktor looked up from playing with Makkachin on the floor.  
“Yea?”  
“You better keep taking good care of Yuri. I ship you both so hard if you break his heart I’ll come after you.” Laughing, Viktor thought it was cute and funny what he was told while Yuri just covered his beat red face.   
“I’ll keep doing my best.”   
Finally settling down for the night while the other two went to crash Viktor watched as Yuri winced. “Do you still hurt?”   
“Surgery sounds so good until I learn of all that could happen after. By chance do you have a button up I can wear tonight? I want to change but getting a shirt on and off over my head hurts so much. I’d rather only do it once. I should have gotten one before Phichit went in my room.”   
Getting off the bed Viktor went through his things figuring he had something Yuri could use. “Need pants too?”  
“No, I have what I sleeping in before. Thanks though.” Watching him carefully move his feet over the edge of the bed he went back to his task while Yuri changed. They had shared a bed quite a few times but Yuri was never big on being naked or even partially naked in front of him. He didn’t know why, he had a killer body. Hearing Yuri hiss as he found something he went to help him. “You should have waited, I would have helped you.” Stopping, Viktor’s mouth hung open. Yuri noticed it before he could close it.  
“What? Am I gaining weight?”   
Gently touching Yuri’s back with his fingertips he didn’t want to hurt him. He looked like he was in enough pain.  
“Viktor? What is wrong?”  
“Your back is all black and blue. Did you know this?” This wasn’t the first time he saw Yuri shirtless but how did he never see this before?  
“The doctor told me about earlier. It’s from an internal bruise. I didn’t want to say anything with the others here earlier but, well, he told me I was lucky I was walking. If I had landed a little differently I probably would have hit my neck and totally damaged my spine.”  
“And you don’t blame me for this?”  
“How could I? You told me to stop, I kept going.” Kissing Viktor’s forehead he took the shirt from him and tried to get it around him. Coming out of his mind Viktor helped him get it on and get him settled back in bed. Keeping Yuri safely in his arms he watched him sleep while he tried to get his mind to stop. He loved the one he was holding more than he could express. He would figure out a way to make it all work out for them. Yuri deserved that much from him.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Viktor loved waking up to Yuri still being in his arms. He looked cute curled up against him and his face was so gentle. Finding it impossible not to smile he gave his lovers forehead a soft kiss as he did. Seeing his eyes start to flutter he felt bad he woke him up; that wasn’t the plan.

            “Mmmm? Viktor?”

            “Expecting someone else?” Teasing, he shifted a little so Yuri could sit up. He figured he would be stiff from staying as he was all night.

            “N…no…sorry, didn’t mean it like that. What time is it?”   
            Looking at his phone Viktor noticed it was a little after eight, they were getting up later and later it seemed. Telling Yuri the time they both moved so they could get ready for the day.

            “Have you seen the others yet, Viktor?”

            “Not yet. I just woke up myself. But, I’ll go check on them in a minute.”

            “I feel bad that you have to. It’s my house and you’re the one hosting.”

            “Only to help you relax. Don’t worry about it alright?” Kissing his cheek Viktor got up and grabbed Makkachin so he could take care of him while he checked on the others, make sure they didn’t get lost looking for something.

            After breakfast and Chris got out of the hot springs, it was decided that they wanted to sightsee. Neither of them had ever been to Japan before and they had been intrigued by the idea of the Ninja castle months ago when Viktor posted about it on his Instagram. Yuri wasn’t in the mood to join them and he couldn’t do all that walking, but Viktor wasn’t sure he wanted Yuri alone all day. While the others got dressed in their room Viktor and Yuri sat on Viktor’s bed trying to not upset the other.

            “I’m going to sleep anyway so you staying is pointless. Plus, one of us should make sure they don’t get lost. Phichit it pretty good at finding his way around but I don’t know about Chris. Also, neither of them speak Japanese and the people around here don’t speak English, or very little at that.”

            “I just don’t want you to get lonely. Want me to leave Makkachin so you can cuddle with him?”

            “Take him with you. I’m sure he is tired of being cooped up here as well.”

            “Yuri…”

            “Stop. Just stop alright, please. Telling you my past was a huge mistake. All you do is worry about me now.”

            “I always worried about you before too!” Aggravated, he stood up and tossed Yuri’s phone on the bed. “My phone is on so if you need anything call me.” Leaving the room he grabbed Makkachin and met the others downstairs so they could go. He felt bad getting angry with Yuri but he was trying. He was always trying to make him happy and make sure he was okay and all this worrying was just starting to get to him. Yuri being stubborn wasn’t helping anything either.

            Walking around Hatsetsu didn’t take long since there wasn’t much around here but the two seemed to be having a blast.

            “You’re so lucky Viktor, this food is amazing. You get to have it all the time.”

            “Yea, I’m sure I’ve gained at least five pounds from it.” Watching Phichit try food from one of the stands Viktor played with Makkachin, who seemed to be happy he was out and about with everyone. Christophe was around somewhere, probably in the water even though it was freezing from being early December. Viktor couldn’t deny the fact that he had wanted to go swimming in it a few times already, it looked nice and reminded him of St. Petersburg.  Seeing Phichit sit next to him Viktor was really glad they were here. With so much going on it was nice to just be with friends.

            “Viktor. I have to ask you something.” Having Phichit staring at him Viktor stopped what he was doing with Makkachin and sat up straighter.

            “Go ahead.”

            “Yuri...well…it’s not really my place but he is my friend and…”

            “I know. About what happened overseas.”

            “He told you?”

            “Yea. He told me he got really sick and that was why he came back.”

            “He tried really hard to hide it from me. But, well, we are friends and I noticed things. But, Viktor. I worry about him now. I’m really glad he has you by his side because honestly. I don’t think he would recover this time around if it hit him.”

            “Maybe you can help me Phichit. I…I don’t know what else I can do for him. He won’t even get mad at me for allowing this to happen. He told me to go back to Russia for my career not because he was mad at me. He doesn’t even understand how much that hurts me.” Starting to get choked up he stopped and hugged Makkachin.

            “Yuri has never blamed anyone for things that has happened. You could have been the world’s worst coach and he would have blamed himself. In Detroit we were had this replacement teacher for a day, I forget why and they were awful. Everyone struggled but Yuri blamed himself for not grasping it. But, I can see it in his eyes Viktor, Yuri is self-destructing inside and the walls that protect him aren’t going to last forever. It’s probably not in your nature, I know it wasn’t in mine but force him to take care of himself. Yuri is one of my dearest friends and I don’t want to lose him.”

            Going to say something he stopped when he heard his phone give an alert message. Digging into his coat pocket he pulled it and to only be further confused. His bank was alerting him of his account hitting one of his notification thresholds. What was he hacked? Asking Phichit for his forgiveness over his rudeness he logged into his account and checked out what was going on. Having his phone slip from his fingers he quickly picked it up and stood up.

            “I have to get back! You know the way right?” Though he was already running back to the house with Phichit calling after him. 

“Yuri?!” Running upstairs he slide his bedroom open to see his bed empty. Going to check to see if Yuri was in his own room he stopped when he heard what sounded like a whimper. Coming into the room further he saw the other curled up on the floor. Kneeling down to help him he fell back as he was pushed away.

            “Go away!”

            Watching as Yuri forced himself to sit up he didn’t know what was going on, what happened to make him react this way?

            “Talk to me Yuri. What is going on? Why did you transfer so much money into my account?”

            “It’s what I owed you. Your coaching fee.”

            “I don’t want your money. What is really going on here?” Standing up, he tried to help Yuri stand only to be pushed back again as he used the bed to do it on his own.

            “I’ve paid my debt to you. Now you have no reason to stay here.”

            “For the last time I don’t want to leave! Stop pushing me away!”

            “Well I don’t want you here! Leave me alone!”

            Viktor could feel his heart breaking. He had never seen Yuri so mad before. He wasn’t sure what happened to cause this kind of reaction, he knew they argued earlier but it wasn’t that serious.

            “Yuri…please…I…”

            “Just go! I have nothing more to say to you. I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone! Get and stay out of my life!”

            Getting pushed aside as Yuri walked through him to leave, they noticed Christophe and Phichit were in the doorway.

            “Yuri…what is going on?” Phichit stepped forward hoping to understand what they walked in on.

            “Just leave me alone. Everyone just. Get out. Go home.” Both stepped aside as he went through them as well. Just getting to his own bedroom they watched as he fell from the pain in his back. Running to help him out of impulse Viktor was taken off guard as Yuri turned to push him away in turn slapping him across the face. “Don’t touch me!” Letting him go he stood up and walked away. The other two just stood there in shock. Hearing the commotion Yuri’s family came upstairs, Viktor just went into his room and used all his willpower not to try to help Yuri again.

            “What the hell happened?” Christophe asked while Phichit sat on the bed hugging his knees. Once things had settled even just a little the three of them sat on Viktor’s bed.

            “How would I know? I just know I was told about this.” Throwing his phone to Chris he let him see what Yuri did. “When I came here he started yelling at me and told me to get out.” Viktor was too angry and lost to get upset or even cry. Looking at his face in a little mirror he saw Yuri’s hand left a mark on his face.

            “You charged this to coach him? I get you hold world records but this this nuts.”

Snatching his phone back he tossed it beside him. “No. In fact I never talked about payment with him. I told him once he started winning I would but really I had no intention of asking for his money.” Feeling the bed shift Viktor watched as Phichit left the room. He got he was worried about Yuri, he was too despite everything but he knew being near him would do nothing for either of them. “I have no idea what got into him. We were fine this morning. He got mad that I was worried about him being alone but he should know by now that I worry a lot about him.”

            “Viktor, I have to ask. Did you see your future with him?”   
            Looking at Chris he nodded. “I did actually. Giving up Russia wasn’t a hard choice when I knew Yuri was here. We haven’t been together long but well, he, I don’t know. I just know my heart beats faster when he is near.       

            “Will you go back?”   

            “Probably. I won’t be on the first flight tomorrow but if he really wants me gone I’ll go. I can’t handle the fighting anymore. Honestly though, I’m really scared to go back. But, maybe we just need space. I’ve been staying here for a little over eight months now and it wasn’t like I had talked about this with him.”

            “If you need a place to crash Switzerland is always open for you.”

            “Thanks Chris, it really means a lot. Can you make sure Phichit is alright?” Seeing him nod he got up to make sure everything was all good with the other two. Viktor laid face down on his bed and tried not to scream. Feeling Makkachin jump up beside him and try to get to his face he rolled over and pulled him close.             “I’m never alone as long as I have you isn’t that right Makkachin.” A few minutes later Christophe came back into the room and crashed on the bed beside him.

            “They are fine. I get the impression Yuri isn’t talking to Phichit though.”

            “What the hell did I do?”

            “Maybe it’s not what you did, it’s what Yuri knows.”

            Sitting up at Chris’s words he wondered if that was it. Could Yuri know something he wasn’t telling anyone? But, pushing him away? Was that really the answer?

            That night Viktor found it hard to fall asleep. Not only was he not tired but the bed seemed so big even with Makkachin sleeping with him. He was worried about Yuri, Phichit was staying with him but he still hoped he was okay. Playing with his phone he stared at the money he received from the other. He didn’t think Yuri had this much. They had never talked about income but Yuri always made it sound like he wasn’t loaded. Sitting up, a thought came to him that frightened him more than anything else in this world. Getting out of bed he went to Yuri’s room and slid the door open without bothering to knock. Phichit quickly sat up startled by the noise, Yuri rolled over in bed to look at him.

            Before he could say anything about leaving Viktor butted in. “If you think you’re death would have been the answer I would never forgive you.”

 

0o0o0o0

I’m going to work on 10 now so don’t kill me!

~Femalefigher~

 

 

           

             


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Viktor stood in the doorway to Yuri’s room waiting for some sort of response from him.

            “Is that want you thought Yuri? That if you left me your money you dying wouldn’t bother me? Do you honestly still believe that I am after nothing but the cash value? I kept telling you that I loved you because I had actual feelings for you and you still thought I was in it for something. I just wanted you to love me back. That’s it. No strings attached, no hidden meaning.”

            “Shut up Viktor. You know nothing!” Watching Yuri sit up he noticed he wouldn’t look at him.

            “How could I? You tell me nothing! It’s all riddles with you! Tell me what you want!”

            “I want you to go back! I want you to forget about me because I can’t do this anymore, alright! I can’t pretend I’m happy, that I believe everything will be alright! I can’t look at your face and know all I wanted to do with you can never happen! Surgery will cost me three times more than what I gave you! Three times! I don’t have that kind of money, my parents don’t have it either. There is no guarantee it will work even if I did. There is no promise that it won’t paralyze me. There is no guarantee this pain will go away! Don’t you see! I’m done. I just want to lie here and rot because that’s all I can do. So get out of my life because there is nothing you or anyone else could do for me!”

            Moving towards Yuri he sat in front of him to bring him close. Feeling him struggle to pull away he kept him close refusing to let him go. He knew he could offer to pay for the operation himself, give Yuri back the money he gave him and pay the rest but he didn’t want Yuri to feel like he owed him for it. “I’ll figure something out Yuri.”

            “Just leave me Viktor. Leave me and move on.”

            “I can’t do that. My heart is too far in love with you to just leave.” Feeling his shirt being soaked from Yuri’s tears he gently put his hand on the back of his neck. “I love you Yuri. I don’t want a life without you and if you don’t want me back than I’m okay with that so long as you keep living.” Having Yuri wrap his arms around him he felt they had gotten to the root of his issues. He didn’t want an easy relationship, he just wanted a true on.

            Viktor stayed with Yuri all night, Phichit had gone into Viktor’s room to sleep since they took the room he was using. Everyone rested easier knowing Yuri was doing better. They knew nothing was solved but they felt the little progress was better than nothing.

            “Viktor?”

            “Hmm?”

            “Were you sleeping?”

            “No… I’m up.”

            “Your eyes are closed. I’ll stop.”

            Opening his eyes he saw Yuri watching him. “See. I’m not sleeping. Need something?” Smirking, he was glad to have Yuri near him.

            “I just…are you sure…am I worth it to you? Even if I have nothing to offer you. You still want to love me?”

            “You offer me plenty.” Sliding closer he kissed the others forehead. “Never doubt your worth, Yuri, ever. Not to me, not to anyone that loves you. I want to love you for as long as you’ll let me. Maybe even longer.”

            “Why?”

            “Why what?”

            “Why do you love me?”

            “That’s easy. Because from the moment I met you my heart went wild. You are passionate, you are a dreamer, you work hard, you are cute.” Seeing him blush at the last statement he gave him another kiss on his forehead. He wanted to kiss those lips he loved but he didn’t want to force things right now.

            “I’m worth your career?”

            “And then some. Yuri. Can I confess something to you now?” Having Yuri meet his eyes he took a breath. “I wanted to tell you this sooner but I didn’t want you to feel guilty if things came up. Back home, back in Russia, I have nothing to go home to. No home, no family. If you come with me, well, it won’t be easy. I don’t want to do that to you but if you really wanted me to go back and if you wanted to stay with me than I would gain the courage to go back.”

            “What happened?”

            “Well…” He was surprised by the question, did he really not know? “Back home…there are…laws Yuri…strict laws, and dangerous ones.  I’ve lived on my own since I was a teenager. My parents were using me for my money and one day I told them something they didn’t want to hear. I left, Yakov thought I wanted to train harder so he helped me get a place closer to the rink. My parents never told the public about me because they hoped to gain my earnings from competitions but I never let them see a dime. You know how your parents support you, support us? Mine would never. They would rather I be dead.”

“Viktor…I…I never would…if I had known…how come you don’t hate me?”

“Hate you for what? I’ve never told anyone this because I was scared. But, I’m not scared with you Yuri. For the first time in ten years I felt like I have a home, I saw people that cared for each other. I want you to see where I grew up. I just want you to know there are certain memories there as well.” Seeing Yuri start to cry again he moved his hand to wipe his eyes. “Why are you crying?”

“Sorry. I’m sorry. I just…I love you Viktor.”

“I love you too.” Kissing those lips he had been dying to kiss he could taste the salt from Yuri’s tears.

When they separated they got lost in each other’s eyes. They weren’t thinking about careers or making the other proud, they were thinking about how they loved each other and how they both knew deep down they couldn’t live without the other.

“Viktor?”

“Yea?”

“I’m sorry. For slapping you. For yelling at you. And for…well…for telling you that I wanted to die.”

“I forgive you. So long as you live a long time. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Kissing their hands, Viktor saw Yuri smile. How no one could love him before was a thought he couldn’t grasp.

“Yuri?” Seeing him open his eyes he smiled at him

“Yea?”

“I know it’s not easy but…come to me more okay? The thought of losing you is a rough one and you don’t deserve that pain. I know I can’t make all the past disappear but I’d like to believe I can a rock for you. That when things get rough you can come to me instead of pushing me away.”

“You’re too perfect for me Viktor.” Watching Yuri yawn and close his eyes he kissed his nose and kept him close so he could sleep the rest of the night peacefully. Tomorrow they would work out the other problems.

Once they were awake and functioning Viktor helped Yuri up and to the others who were lounging downstairs. He knew Yuri hated the fact that he was being carried but it was less strain on his back this way. Being greeted with smiles he placed his love gently on the couch and went to grab him breakfast. Coming back into the other room he heard Yuri apologizing for how he acted yesterday. Handing him a plate of food he smiled wider as he saw him actually start eating. There was no picking at it for a few minutes and putting it down. He was scared it’s just an act but he knew relationships were built from trust and he wanted to trust Yuri.

Kneeling in front of him while he was eating he tapped his leg to get his attention.

“Yuri. I have an idea for you to consider. I want to see you happy, in fact I think I speak for all those around you when say that. I know you don’t have the money to pay for your surgery and even if I gave you back what you gave me you wouldn’t let me pay for the rest of it. But, what if we held a fundraiser? Let’s get Yuuko and the others involved and let’s hold a fundraiser at the Ice Castle for the money. If we don’t reach enough then I’ll pay the leftover.” Yuri gagged on his food as he heard the idea, well it wasn’t a flat out no.

“I’d join that event!” Phichit jumped up and ran to Yuri hoping he would say yes. “I don’t know what I can do but I’d like to be a part of it.”

“What do you say Yuri, can we do it?”

Still trying to clear his throat Viktor waited patiently, maybe he should have waited until after he ate.

“If you guys really want to then sure. Let’s talk to Yuuko. But! I have one rule. No one is forced. The idea alone means a lot to me.” Lunging forward, Viktor gave Yuri the tightest hug he could give. Only letting go when he told him he was hurting him. He knew he had tears in his eyes but he was so happy Yuri was okay with this idea. Not thinking he leaned over and kissed Yuri until he felt him pull away.

“Viktor! My parents are literally right behind you!” Turning to face them he waved and smiled at them.

“Mr. and Mrs. Katsuki. I think by now it’s very obvious that I love your son.”

“Well I’d hope so with that kiss on TV.”

Hearing Yuri mumble a “oh my god,” Viktor turned back to him and lifted his chin. “We are all good then.” Kissing him again he noticed Yuri didn’t pull away right away.

Viktor knew Yuri hated the idea of being carried everywhere. In fact it was so obvious Viktor laughed every time. Yesterday still played in his mind though despite the good mood Yuri was in today and worried it would crash sooner or later. He learned from the last time that these moods could come and go quickly. But, he also knew he was going to try harder so Yuri wouldn’t push him away the next time he was feeling low. This relationship wasn’t going to easy for either of them he knew that. He also knew that any good relationship took time and commitment. Both he was willing to do for the other.

“Yuri!!” Hearing Yuuko as they walked in Viktor heard Yuri ask him to put him down right away. Carefully doing as he was told he kept his arms around him making sure he was steady. “How are you feeling? I’ve been wanting to stop by and check on you but I knew you needed rest so I didn’t want to bother you. Oh! Phichit and Christophe…oh my god! My girls will flip out if they find out you are here.”

“I’m getting there. The doctor said my concussion is getting better and I’ve noticed I can focus a bit more than I could. My back…well that’s another story.”

“And that is actually why we are all here. Can we sit and talk somewhere?” Not wanting to see rude but wanting Yuri to be resting again Viktor cut in.

“Yes! Yes of course! We can use the office.” Leading the way the four of them headed towards the back to get this underway.

Explaining everything they watched her face light up at the idea.

“Yuri I feel awful it has to come to this but I would be happy to set things up for an event here. I know the town will be happy to support you. And if everyone is skating too than I’m sure you’ll get the funds in no time.”

“Thanks Yuuko. I appreciate the help.”

“Yuuko, can the three of us use the ice?”

“Sure Viktor it should be all good to go. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Appreciate it.” Kissing Yuri’s cheek he left them alone to show the guys where the event would be held. As he was shutting the door he heard Yuuko ask if Yuri was really doing alright, he was looking thin.

After a half hour of getting nowhere Viktor was glad the other two had something planned. Christophe had brought up just using Yuri’s Ero’s program and practicing his old ones but he wasn’t sure he liked that idea. Ero’s had become the beautiful Grand Prix Final piece that it was because of Yuri. Maybe he was thinking of this from the wrong angle. Moving towards the edge of the ice he grabbed his phone and scrolled through songs he liked hoping something would inspire him.

“Viktor! Quick question. Are we going all out? Like with outfits?” Hearing Christophe ask he looked over and nodded. “If we can, let’s do it. Let’s make this event the best it can be.”

“Let’s treat it like the gala!” Phichit’s enthusiasm was inspiring. Viktor was getting really excited to see this all come together.

After spending hours at the rink Viktor was grateful he wasn’t too tired to carry Yuri home. He could tell they all had fun working on everything today, even Yuri who had to just sit and watch from the benches. Getting Yuri in bed he brought him dinner only to watch as he moved it to the side.

“Yuri I…”

“Sssh. I’ll eat in a minute. I promised Yuuko to try harder. I just wanted to say thank you Viktor. For everything. Really.”

Moving closer he took their hands and moved it to Yuri’s heart. “Never forget that even in your darkest days I love you. I want to see back on your feet just as much as you do. I just want to see you smile the way you used to.”

“I have a request Viktor.”

“Anything Yuri.”

“Hold me tight tonight. The darkness in my mind is worse at night but being near you helps subdue it. I want to keep fighting Viktor, for you. For everyone that supports me.”

0o0o0o0

Please don’t hate me!! See they are getting better with each other! This was supposed to be the last chapter but they got cute again so that’s not going to happen. The reviews are amazing and keep me going so thank you to each and every one of you.

~Femalefighter~

 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Viktor crashed on his bed face down exhausted from the day. Hearing Yuri’s little laugh beside him he turned his head a bit. Yuri’s laugh was too cute he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

            “Is planning really tiring you out this much? Or are you just getting too old for all this?”

            “Leave my age out of this.” He mumbled as he placed his head back into the mattress. Taking a long exhale he sat up and hugged his pillow. “Planning isn’t the issue. We have everything set for the most part.” Stopping, he looked over to see Yuri watching him.

“So you aren’t going to tell me then. Okay.”

Hearing the hurt in Yuri’s voice Viktor let go of his pillow and moved to cuddle him. “Don’t take it that way. I want to surprise you at the event. Though, at the rate I am going it won’t be ready by then but that is my plan.

            “And we planned this for right after the New Year right?”

            “Yep. It was easier on everyone. You’re not thinking about going back on your approval are you?”  
            “No. Everyone is so excited for this. I feel bad everyone is working so hard for me but I appreciate it. Plus, if I changed my mind than Christophe and Phichit would be staying here for no reason. And, not that I want them to go but I’d feel bad to have made them stay longer than they planned. I know I’m changing the subject but I have something I’ve been meaning to ask you. Since I just realized what the date was.”

            “Okay.” Keeping his arms around Yuri’s waist he rested his chin on his shoulder. He really enjoyed this position, nothing made him happier than holding Yuri like this.

            “What do you want for your birthday? It’s less than two weeks away isn’t it?”

            “Is it? I don’t even know what day it is anymore.”

            “Really? You want me to believe that.”

            “Yes. I haven’t done much to remember it so it slipped my mind.”

            “Well today is the fifteenth, your birthday is the twenty-fifth right? That’s ten days away.”

            “Oh. Well. We don’t usually celebrate birthdays before the day so I haven’t given it much thought.”

            “Okay….then what about Christmas?”

            “We don’t celebrate Christmas in Russia. Well I mean we do, but, it’s not on the same day.”

            “Why do I feel like you want to make things difficult?”      

            Hearing Yuri sigh and start to get frustrated he kissed his cheek hoping not to upset him further. “I’m really not trying to, I’m just stating facts. In Russia, Christmas is celebrated in January after the New Year. Our big celebrations are more for New Year’s.  Christmas is more private. I know I’ve spent a ton of money on the New Year events in the past.”

            “I never knew this.”

            “Most don’t. Unless you’ve lived in Russia it’s not something that people talk about.” Kissing his cheek again he hoped he made things better.

            “Okay. Then…I still want to do something for you. Christmas Eve is really big here and I can’t really go for a long walk but…well…I’d like to spend it with you.”

            Seeing the blush on Yuri’s face Viktor couldn’t help but smile and blush as well. “I’d like to learn more about this. Maybe we can find something we can do together.” Listening to Yuri talk about how the overall idea of the day is to spread happiness and be with loved ones and since a lot of couples spend the day together he hoped they could do that too. Wanting to know more about what they did here Viktor knew he had to do research on it later. He wanted to do something amazing for Yuri. This was their first real holiday together as a couple it only seemed fitting. Besides, Yuri had been through a lot he deserved a special day.

            “How about this, you think of something you’d like to do for Christmas Eve and I’ll think about what I’d like to do for my birthday.”

            “I…what...Really?”

            “Yea! It sounds fun! And besides, I owe you a date anyway.” Smiling wide, he loved seeing Yuri’s face light up. He was really with the cutest guy, how did he get so lucky?

            Yawning, Viktor tried to keep his eyes open a little longer. He had a lot he wanted to figure out before he went to bed tonight. Though, he was really tired from being on the ice all day. It wasn’t helping that he was cuddling with Yuri and both were enjoying each other’s company. Before he passed out he checked in with his love though, he made sure that no matter how the day was he asked how he was feeling. In his spare time he tried to do research on depression and how he could help Yuri in the good and bad times. He wasn’t lying when he said he wanted to be there for him. He was learning and he was trying. It felt like Yuri was trying too so it was nice. Together they would get through this and their future Viktor could feel it, looked bright.

            “Viktor, answer your phone.”

            “You answer it.” Shifting in his sleep Viktor tried to block out the ringing, he knew that ringtone though.

            “No. Here. Take it and answer it.”

            Opening an eye he saw Yuri sitting up in bed holding his phone out for him. Sitting up as well he grabbed it from him and answered it.

            “Hello?”

            “Busy?” Hearing Yuiro’s voice Viktor realized he wasn’t dreaming then, that was the right ringtone he heard.

            “Need something?”

            “Is this right? You are holding a thing for Katsuki?”

            “Yea. We are why?” Getting out of bed he whispered to Yuri he would be right back and stepped out of his room. “Are you interested in joining us?”

            “So Phichit and Christophe are doing it too?”

            “Yea. They came out the other week to see how Yuri was doing and they decided to stay and help. Why?”

            “Do you think he would be okay with me joining too?”

            “Really? I think he would like that a lot actually!” He was shocked to hear this. Yurio hadn’t contacted them since the Grand Prix final and yes he didn’t try to contact the other either but he figured it was for the best. “I’ll send you all the information tomorrow. The only thing is…well…we are going to have to try and find a place for you to stay.” Talking to him a little bit more about it Viktor hung up with him for the night and went back into the bedroom. Climbing back under the covers he waited for Yuri to get settled before he moved closer to snuggle him.

            “Everything okay?”

            “Yea. Just had something to take care of. I can’t wait for this fundraiser. It’s going to be a blast.” Feeling Yuri finally coming to bed he kept him close and shut his eyes for the night. He had another busy day in front of him.

            Stretching besides the rink, Viktor, Christophe, and Phichit were warming up for their practice. They decided it would be cool to work on something together to get the fundraiser going and then they could each do solo pieces after. Letting them decide the lineup after the group piece they decided Viktor would go first since he was the official host of the event. Since he seemed to be struggling though he was going to do one to start and then halfway through he would do a second number. They wanted him to close the event to but he started laughing at them. He wasn’t sure why he was struggling so much in designing programs but he was and it wasn’t making this fun at all.  Once they gone over the opening piece Viktor let the other two practice first. He needed to see if he could find a better song because right now he wasn’t happy with the one he chose which could be a reason he was struggling so much. Realizing he had a lot of classical pieces he decided to think more modern for once. He had changed as a person this season off so perhaps his music choices should reflect that. Searching artists all over found a couple he liked. Hearing one song that came up from a mis-click he stopped and felt his heart start beating rapidly. This was it! This was what he was looking for! Adjusting his headphones to hide his phone better he took to the ice. At least he had one song, he just needed two more.

            Stopping for lunch they all went back to the house to eat. Viktor was happy to see Yuri really trying. He wasn’t eating three large meals every day but he would make sure he ate at least three times a day. He knew he was scared to put on weight from not doing anything all day so he didn’t push him to stuff himself. So long as he was taking care of himself he was happy.

            “Have a second Viktor? I know you want to get back to Ice Castle.” Hearing Yuri behind him he stopped and turned to face him.        

            “I always have time for you, what’s up?”

            “I’ve been thinking about what you said, about Christmas Eve. And well, I…I’d really like to just spend the day out. We don’t have to do anything fancy. It would just be nice to spend the day with you.”

            “Sure! I feel bad that I haven’t been here with you much knowing it’s hard on you to go out and I want to surprise you with something but know I miss spending time with you. I’m still thinking of what to do for my birthday.” Kissing Yuri’s cheek he grabbed his coat and headed back with the others. He did feel really bad about always leaving Yuri alone but he seemed to coming out of his room more so that was good. When they got back earlier he was watching TV with Minako; that was something he hadn’t seen in a while so it was nice.

            Happy with finally having at least one song he noticed the story unfolded in his mind allowing his body to follow and within an hour he had the basic outline set. Now he could go and add additional segments as needed. Breaking to get some water and fix his boots he went over more music hoping to find the other two he needed. With only a few weeks to get these perfect he wanted to put all he had into this, plus the better they did the more they could raise for Yuri he was sure of that.

            “Ready Yuri?” Standing beside the bed Viktor was waiting for the other so they could head out for the day. He was completely sore from the days of practice but today was just to be the two of them enjoying the day together as he promised so he would make it work.

            “I think so.” Watching him make sure he had his phone and wallet they headed out. Viktor wasn’t going to lie, he was looking forward to this. He had already told Yuri he wasn’t going to get the chance to spend any of his own money; even though he had given him back the seven thousand Yuri put into his account as the coaching fee. He didn’t want him to spend a dime of it. Today he was going to spoil the other whether he liked it or not.

            “Just tell me if we have to stop. I don’t want you overdoing it.”

            “I will I promise.  Despite your beliefs I can walk around. It just hurts if I do it a lot.” Still, he felt Yuri’s arm lace around his own. This was a first. He wouldn’t lie though, he liked it a lot. Taking it slow they walked towards the water. Even though it was freezing out there was something about the ocean they couldn’t get enough of. Helping Yuri sit on the edge of the path they watched the waves roll in. This was nice, it was peaceful, and it reminded Viktor of when he first came here. Sitting beside Yuri like this just figuring things out. Who knew they would have come so far. Feeling Yuri rest his head against his shoulder he looked over at him and smiled.

            “Everything alright Yuri?”

            “I’m good. It’s just…I…well…some days I wake up and I still can’t believe I’m not dreaming. You are really here. Not only are you with me but you are _with_ me. Today I woke up to you sleeping beside me and I had to pinch myself knowing we had an official date planned. I know I haven’t been easy to be around lately but you staying besides me means a lot Viktor.”

            It was hard not to blush at his words, Yuri was adorable. Kissing the top of his head the best he could they sat together in silence. Viktor wanted to say something amazing back but the words seemed to get lodged in his throat. Deciding to just not force it he kept things the way they were for a little while. Back then they used to sit in silence a lot, though, he was trying to figure out what Yuri was thinking.

            Spending an hour at the water they both were getting rather cold and decided it would be best to head inland more. Seeing Yuri shiver a little Viktor bought them both something hot to drink while they sat at a little park. It was quiet yet the area was busy. Yuri wasn’t kidding, this was a big day for couples.

            “Hey Viktor.”

            “Hmm?” Hearing Yuri call his name he took his focus off of the people around them and put them on his love, who was looking out at the others.

            “I’ve been thinking. There is still a lot I don’t know about you. You’ve told me about your past a big but what are your plans for the future? Or rather, what were your plans for the future? Before you met me anyway.”

            Taking a second to think about it he admitted to Yuri the truth. “Honestly, I had no plans for the future. I knew I had to start thinking about what I truly wanted after I stopped competing but I really didn’t have anything before I met you.”  
            “Really? For some reason I had this feeling you had your whole life planned and meeting me derailed that for you.”

            Trying hard not to laugh and failing he put his free arm around Yuri’s shoulders. “Nope! In fact being with you has helped me plan a better future for myself. One that doesn’t just involve me waking up the day after I retire going, okay now what? I may seem put together Yuri but really I’m just a mess.” Laughing at himself he noticed Yuri was still thinking hard on something. Kissing his cheek he saw him blush and move his head away from him a bit. Someone still wasn’t comfortable with public displays of affection that were more than just arms around the other.

            “What’s on your mind Yuri? Ask me anything. Really. I can handle it.”

            “It’s just…I don’t know. I guess I was thinking about how little I actually do know about you. And now I feel like I know even less. I was going off assumptions.”      

            “I’m sorry. We got so focused on the Grand Prix and I wanted to know all about you I guess my life just never came up. Not that I’m mad about that.”

            “Have you ever thought of having your own family? I know you told me about how yours treated you and I did some research on my own while you were practicing about what you could have faced in Russia with their laws and ideals. I was just curious.”

            “Oh? Are you saying you want to give me that?” Seeing Yuri push him away and stand he figured he messed up, he shouldn’t have been teasing him.

            “Well since that moment is over what do you feel like doing now?” Hearing him sounding peeved he stood up and put his arms around Yuri’s waist to hold him close and still.

            “I’m sorry. I was insensitive and used stupid humor. The answer is yes though, to your question. I’ve thought about it. I lost mine but I’ve always wanted one. One where I wouldn’t do to them what was done to me. Though, I don’t want them to worry about being abused if they walked outside.” Shaking his head he stopped and sighed. He didn’t want to think about that now. He was out on a first date with his love. No sad thoughts. Resting his chin on Yuri’s shoulder he pointed off to the side of them. “See those people there? The ones with the littlest on the father’s back.”

            “Yea.”

            “That’s what I’ve dreamed of. Something like that.”

            “It’s a nice dream Viktor.”

            “Thanks. I think so too.”

            Hatsetsu was beautiful this time of year and being it was Christmas Eve Viktor thought it looked even better. He was really glad he got to spend the season here to witness this. Seeing the time he took Yuri’s hand and led him to this restaurant he booked for them. He was lucky he found a place considering he had booked so late but when he asked around about it he got great feedback so he was happy.

            “Is this why you told me to dress decently?” Yuri asked as he was escorted to the table.

            “Yes. And I figured you would want to wear something other than sweats all day.”

            “My sweats are rather comfy as a matter of fact and the only things I could adjust.” Sitting across from him Viktor took his closest hand and intertwined their fingers.

            “How much weight did you lose?” Watching Yuri look away but tighten the grip on their hands he knew he was enough. “I’m sorry I didn’t try to intervene better.”

Seeing Yuri’s head snap forward to face him he said, “No! No don’t say that! I did it to myself. You were always trying to get me to eat and take care of myself. I just didn’t want to. I believed it was better if I did nothing but rot away. I would have been a lot worse if I didn’t have you Viktor. Honest.”

“I love you Yuri.”      

“I love you too.”

The rest of the evening went by peacefully and with fun conversation. They talked about tomorrow a bit, Viktor wasn’t too happy with the whole keeping it a surprise thing, but, he couldn’t say much about it. He was keeping a few surprises from Yuri as well. After dinner Viktor decided to start heading back. Yuri wasn’t saying anything but he could see he was starting to hurt. Yuri had tried to hide popping pain pills in his mouth but Viktor could tell what was going on. Before he did any more damage to his back they got back to the house and in their room to cuddle and rest.

“I hope today was good for you Yuri. I wanted this first date to be really special for you.”

“It was great Viktor thank you. I don’t know if you know this about me yet but I’m really not hard to please.” At his smile Viktor climbed in beside him with his laptop in his hand. Since Yuri’s concussion was healed finally as of last week they could cuddle and watch movies. This was what Viktor truly wanted to do with the other. Hearing Yuri’s soft breathing halfway through the movie he looked down to see him asleep against his chest. He was too adorable. Knowing Yuri would hate him for it in the morning he took a picture of them like this and posted it to his Instagram with the caption _First date was a complete success._ Laying back in bed better while trying not to wake or hurt Yuri he shut his eyes for the night. Seeing a light hitting his eyes he opened one eye to see his phone lit up with a notification from Instagram that Phichit liked the photo. And with a smile on his face, he fell asleep.

0o0o0o0o0o

They finally went on a date!! Yay babies!! Next chapter we have Viktor’s birthday. Let’s hope the cuteness continues. Until next time.

~Femalefighter~

           


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Viktor woke up to feel no one on his chest anymore and the lack the body heat the other gave off. Sitting up he saw he was alone in the room as well. Sliding out of bed he slowly made his way to the bathroom to wake a bit better before seeing if he could find Yuri. Coming downstairs he moved to the kitchen since Yuri wasn’t in his bedroom and stopped just outside as he could smell an amazing breakfast being prepared. He really loved staying here. If he moved back to Russia this was something he would definitely miss. Moving the curtain that separated the kitchen he stepped in and froze again as he saw Yuri sitting at the kitchen counter working on something.

            “Morning Yuri.”

            Yuri’s head popped up and he smiled as their eyes met. “Morning Viktor. Happy Birthday.”

            “Merry Christmas Yuri. What smells so good?” Sitting beside him he realized Yuri was working on some dish. Was there nothing this man couldn’t do?

            “Making you breakfast. I figured since it’s your birthday and all.”

            Watching the blush form on the others cheeks Viktor smiled wider and kissed his cheek only to have Yuri pull away and a mumble his name in a plea to stop. His mother was smiling though so what was so wrong about confirming what was already known?

            “Did you sleep well last night Viktor?”

            “I did, why?”

            “I woke up and realized I was still on you. I hope I wasn’t too heavy or anything.”

            “I had the most amazing sleep last night actually. I feel so refreshed.” Seeing Yuri’s blush just deepen Viktor stopped. “Anything I can help with ma’am?”

            “Everything is taken care of Viktor but thank you. Why don’t you boys go into the other room and relax. I’ll let you know when it’s done.”

            “Okay mom. Get me if you need me.” Handing her the ingredients he was working on Yuri carefully stood and took Viktor’s hand. “Let’s stretch out on the couch.”

            Viktor sat on the couch first and gently pulled Yuri on top of him. Last night he really enjoyed feeling Yuri so close to him. Sure they had cuddled and snuggled before but this was different. Hearing Yuri protest but not pull away he couldn’t hide the smile on his lips watching Yuri get comfortable.

            “This doesn’t hurt your back does it?”

            “No. In fact it feels pretty good.” Yuri turned to face the TV and flipped through the channels for something they could watch. Hearing footsteps Viktor looked over to see Christophe and Phichit coming into the room.

            “Morning guys.”

            “Happy Birthday Viktor. I’m surprised to see you not with Yuri.” Christophe mentioned before he stopped and saw Yuri snuggled against Viktor’s chest. “Well…I take that back…”He mumbled.

            “Viktor it’s your birthday? Happy Birthday. Any big plans for the day?”

            “Thanks Phichit. And I don’t think so.” Looking down at Yuri he met his gaze and saw him shrug his shoulders. “But, if I stay like this all day I’ll be pretty content with the day.”

            “I bet. Loved that photo by the way. You guys look adorable.” Phichit leaned over the couch and Viktor felt Yuri shift a little.

            “What picture?” Seeing Yuri was looking at him Viktor was beat by Phichit.

            “This one. Viktor posted it last night.” Viktor knew he was in trouble as Yuri took the phone from Phichit to see it and handed it right back.

            “You took a picture of me sleeping on you and posted it on Instagram?!”

            “Love you.”

            “You suck.”

            He must not have been too pissed though as he put his head back on his chest.

            “It has over a thousand likes.”

            “Viktor, please stop talking.”

            A short while later Yuri sat up so they could eat as his mother brought breakfast in for them. Viktor felt bad for the special treatment, he would have gotten it. He wasn’t exactly sure what this dish was called but it smelled fantastic. Japanese cooking was definitely one of the best.

            After breakfast they headed back upstairs to get showered and dressed for the day. Viktor had no idea what Yuri was planning for the day since he had to decide but he really had no idea. Birthdays were never that big for him. When he turned the legal drinking age he got wasted with some friends but that was pretty much all he had ever done. It wasn’t that Russians didn’t really celebrate them, he just didn’t. Hearing a knock at his door he finished putting his shirt on and let whoever it was enter. Seeing it was Yuri he was surprised he didn’t just come in.

            “Think of anything you’d like to do today? This is my chance to spoil you after all.”

            “I’d really rather you not. It’s just a day for me. Honest.” Feeling Yuri come closer and look into his eyes he could see something he said upset him.

            “Don’t say that. You may think of it as just a day but…well…if you weren’t born than...none of this would have happened.” Witnessing the giant blush that formed on Yuri’s face from this declaration Viktor found it impossible to keep his heart in his chest. Lifting his chin he leaned down to kiss him. That was the sweetest thing anyone had ever told him. Yuri may not have said what _this_ was but he didn’t have to. Them meeting, their falling in love, both of them finding a reason to fight for a bright future, all that wouldn’t have been possible if he hadn’t been born.

            “I…I guess you’re right. Forgive me?” Having Yuri nod they separated as they heard a heavy knock on the door.

            “I get it. You both are in love, it’s great. Viktor, want to show these kids how to have a good time?” Christophe asked as Phichit followed him into the room.

            “Chris, it’s not even ten yet. I don’t want to get trashed. Besides, they are all of drinking age. Well Yuri is anyway. His drinking is how we met after all.”

            “Yuri?” Phichit was confused by what Viktor was talking about. He didn’t know Yuri to be a drinker.

            “Oh god. Please don’t remind me. Viktor already told me about that.” Covering his face with his hands he sat on the edge of Viktor’s bed. “If you guys are interested though there is a karaoke bar in the next town over. It’s not that far of a bus ride.

            “I really have nothing planned for today. I could think of nothing that I really wanted to do. I’ve heard karaoke bars can be a lot of fun. Sure you’re up for it Yuri?”

            “I can do it. There is nothing there that will mess with me.”

            Gathering their things they headed out to catch the bus. The whole area was beautiful right now because of the holiday. Viktor had traveled a lot while skating but he really loved Japan the most. Hearing Phichit ask Yuri about what they were talking about before Viktor and Chris pulled out their phones to show him what they had saved from the old banquet.

            “Too bad nothing interesting happened this year. Just a lot of mingling.” Phichit sounded disappointed as he scrolled through each photo.

            “I have video of the one dance, Phichit.” Viktor held his phone out to his favorite video from that night.

            “I felt they tightened the rules a bit though this year.” Christophe sighed.

            “Everyone. Please stop talking.” Yuri kept his face buried in his hands waiting for the subject to change.

            “Maybe we will get an encore today?” Christophe nudged Yuri who just tried to swat him away.

            “Tough luck. I’m on really strong pain pills so I can’t drink.” Giving a matter-of-fact tone Viktor couldn’t help but laugh. Even if they had done nothing all day but lounge in the springs he would have had a really great birthday because he got to spend the day with so many great friends.

            By the time they got to the bar they realized it had just opened, that worked. Getting settled Yuri explained to them how the whole thing worked. Looking over at Phichit Viktor could tell he was already taking photos of the place and ready to take some videos of them looking foolish. Putting an arm around Yuri he whispered if he would do something with him. Getting a response he expected, the, _I don’t sing_ response Viktor knew he would get him later. Christophe dived right in, ordering a round, food, and picking something he had never heard of; this would be great.

            A few hours later and Viktor knew he was buzzed. Whatever Christophe ordered for him was clearly not alcohol free like he asked. Why he trusted him was beyond him, he knew better than this. Looking at the time at least it was past noon so that was a plus. Getting drunk first thing in the morning wasn’t really something he enjoyed. Bringing Yuri to his feet he got him to do a song with him. So far he had no idea what he was saying most of the time, though his Japanese had improved quite a lot from living here. As they finished he saw Yuri blushing and trying to hide his face. He didn’t think there was anything embarrassing about what they did. Asking what was wrong he was told he would find out later. Mouthing to Phichit to search for what they did, he saw his face go red a few moments later. Reading the page he understood why Yuri was so embarrassed…that was a very sexual song. Fun though, and very worth it. He would have to remember that one.

            Leaving the bar around two they headed around the town checking the place out. It had the feel of Hatsetsu in terms of the old look to the buildings but there was lot more to do here it felt like. This was clearly the party town. Wanting to sober up a bit before they headed back they stopped at a sweet shop because they could smell it from the streets. Admiring a small matcha cake, was that frosting too? Yuri bought it for him saying that since it was his birthday he deserved a cake after all. His boyfriend was too nice, he wasn’t expecting him to do that for him. He really didn’t need anything from Yuri. Just being loved by him every day was enough to last him a life time. Being able to be himself and be the romantic that he was at heart was worth all the cake and birthday wishes in the world.

            Knowing they had a bus to catch they all piled back on and headed back to the house. Once they were home they were all hitting the springs since Viktor couldn’t get enough of them. Falling asleep on Yuri’s shoulder Viktor didn’t realize he passed out until he was woken up by the other. Leaving the bus he kept their hands together. Once Yuri was better he was going to show him the world. Being out today reminded him of how much he loved to see new places and he wanted to share that with him.

            “Don’t fall asleep yet.” Laying back on his bed Viktor sat back up at Yuri’s words. “I have something for you. A birthday gift for you.”

            “Yuri.” He didn’t have to get him anything, being with him today was enough. Seeing him standing in front of him he noticed there was also a nice gap between them. This was new.

            “I…well… I wanted to find something for you that showed how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. So…well… I hope you like it. Happy Birthday, Viktor.” Getting handed a box Viktor felt his hands shaking before he even grabbed it. The velvet box was so tiny, what was Yuri giving him? Meeting his eyes for a moment he looked back at the box and opened it. Feeling his breath catch in his throat he was blown away by what he was looking at.

            “Yuri…I…”

            “Do…do you like it? I…I know we are talking about what comes next for both of us but I thought…maybe this way it could be a reminder for both of us that we will always be there for each other…I…”

            “Yuri. I love it, stop.” Getting up he slipped the gold band onto his finger before wrapping his arms around Yuri’s neck before giving him the most passionate kiss he had ever given him. When they broke away he felt Yuri wipe his eyes, he didn’t realize he was crying from the shock he was in over the beauty Yuri gave him. “I love you, Yuri. You are truly one of a kind. When did you even have time to do this?”

            “I love you too. You have no idea how worried I was about what you would think. I found it after my doctor’s appointment last week. ”

            “We need to get you one. So you remember I’ll always be here for you, even if I can’t be physically with you.”

            “Actually, I do. It was a set. I just didn’t want to leave it out before I gave you yours.” At that, there was another deep blush on Yuri’s face and another kiss from Viktor.

            Turning in for the night Viktor kept Yuri close to his chest while they settled into bed. Looking at their joined hands he couldn’t believe how wonderful today was. This birthday was one of his best he had ever had. Spending it with Yuri and their friends was something he would never forget. This moment seemed like a dream, he was wearing a gold band on his finger. The boy he loved and adored bought him the most amazing gift, he would never take it off. This would be his reminder that this was real, Yuri really would always have his back.  One day he would marry Yuri he was certain of that.

            “I love you, Yuri.”

0o0o0o0o

            And with that we have Viktor’s birthday!! Yay! I’ve been thinking about things and I feel like if something had come up before the final they would have still ended up with engaged, though, at this point I don’t think they have come to that point yet. I love my precious babies!

~Femalefighter~


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Hearing screaming, Viktor’s eyes snapped open and he quickly sat up. He didn’t have to be sleeping beside him to know that was Yuri he was hearing. Moving closer he touched Yuri’s shoulder to feel he was trembling. Watching him try to sit up and yelp Viktor had him stay as he was. Looking at the nightstand beside the other Viktor tried to see if his pain pills were still there so he could grab a couple for him. Having Yuri shake his head in protest to wanting them he kept Viktor’s hand in his own while he tried to catch his breath.

            “Yuri? Let me help you. Please.”

            “I…I’m alright. I just…I twisted in my sleep. That’s all.”

            “Well don’t move too much, that will help.” Watching Yuri nod at his orders he laid back beside him with his head propped up on his hand. There was no way he could even think about falling back asleep with Yuri the way he was. “Just a few more days Yuri. Than this will be better for you. Promise.”

            “I’m sorry I woke you up. When it happened I tried to muffle myself so I wouldn’t wake you.”

            “I’m glad you failed.” Putting his arm around Yuri he moved closer so they could cuddle without shifting him. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you to let me in but I’ll keep reminding you.”

            “Sorry.”

            Staying as they were he heard Yuri fall back asleep about a half hour later. Knowing he was feeling better Viktor allowed his eyes to close again for the night. A few more days, just a few more days and they could set up Yuri’s appointment to fix his back.

            It wasn’t a surprise that when they woke up Yuri had a hard time getting out of bed and doing much. Helping him the best he could they got him settled back in bed to rest for the day. There was no need for him to strain and hurt himself even more so he could rest and take it easy.

            “I’ll be fine Viktor I promise. Go practice.”

            “Yuri, you can barely walk. I can skip today.”

            “The fundraiser is in two days. We both know this isn’t the right time to miss. I’ll be fine. I’m going to lay in bed with heat on my back and watch movies. If I need anything I can ask my parents for help.”

            “Do you promise to contact me if you need me?”

            “I promise. Look I even added you to my favorites list to make it easier to call you.” Being shown Yuri’s phone he noticed he was number one on the list. He didn’t say anything but the wide smile he was sporting showed that meant a lot to him.

            “Alright. Then I’ll leave you in Makkachin’s care.” Having him climb up on the bed and snuggle Yuri he kissed his love and gave Makkachin’s his orders. “You better call me.”

            “Can’t hear you. Napping.”

            Watching Yuri another minute he grabbed his things and met the others downstairs so they could go.

            After talking with Yuuko about the design of the event and making sure the technical end was set they ran how the event would flow. They were missing Yurio, who was flying out today, but they knew where they were placing him so once he arrived and was ready they could throw him in to practice. Getting to the last piece for the event Viktor set himself up and had Christophe push play on the stereo system. He couldn’t wait to surprise Yuri with this number. His theme was pretty obvious, it was love but not just any love, supportive love. Being with Yuri showed him how to be more supportive and more open. He wanted to show that here. Landing his final quad he did a simple slower spin to end and reach as the final notes hung in the air. If he did this right, come the event Yuri would be right where his hand reached. Looking over his program he knew the final pose looked like Yuri’s ending to his free program but he was doing it out of reverence so it worked. Hearing clapping he looked over to see Yuuko teary eyed as he skated towards the end of the rink to leave.

            “Yuri is going to love it. He will love all of this but that last number is beautiful Viktor.”

            “You think so? I won’t lie. It’s been so long since I’ve done something like this I was worried I lost my touch.”     

            “No, no it’s amazing!”

            Thanking her again he got a drink and talked with the others about making sure they had what they needed outfit wise. Since they were going all out they agreed on treating this like a formal skating event. Their practice outfits were out. Since they didn’t have a ton of time to prepare Viktor let Phichit and Christophe rummage through his old skating outfits to see if he had anything they would like. As for himself he rushed ordered two. One he loved for the second number, the second outfit he had yet to check. After lunch he was going to do that when they ran the program again, hopefully with Yurio.

            Heading back to the house to eat, everyone, including Yuuko and her girls, joined the others to continue going over everything. Viktor went to check on Yuri before he ate anything to make sure he was taking care of himself. Seeing he was asleep snuggling with Makkachin he let him be and grabbed what he needed for later. Coming back downstairs he sat down with everyone and dug in. He really wished Yuri’s parents would charge him for this food. He didn’t believe they were charging anyone that was staying here to do the event, he felt bad since they were trying to run a business and all.

            “Alright. I’m going to ask since it’s been driving me nuts. What’s with the ring Viktor?” At Christophe’s question Viktor swallowed and looked down at his finger, he didn’t have it long, just a week and a half but he was so used to it already, he never took it off.

            “It was my birthday present from Yuri.”

            “You two get married or something in secret?” Christophe asked and he could hear Phichit start clapping in excitement at the thought, he just shook his head.

            “It’s nothing like that. Yuri asked me to take things slow, especially since he has to recover. I think it’s more of a promise ring. He has one to. It’s our reminder that we have each other’s back, which is so important right now with so much having to be decided and figured out.”

            “You too are adorable together.” Yuuko’s words and smile made it hard for Viktor not to smile back and thank her for the compliment. Honestly, he thought so too. As they were cleaning up from lunch Viktor got a message from Yurio that he landed and wanted to know where they were meeting, this worked. If he was willing they could jump right into practice and filling him in with the plans.

            Getting back to the house after hours of practice Viktor was ready for a long nap. Phichit and Yurio were going to share Yuri’s room since Phichit was fine with sleeping on a futon on the floor, which made life a lot easier for Viktor who was struggling to figure out where Yurio was going to stay. He also didn’t tell Yuri he was coming so he could try to surprise him at the event. Coming into his room he saw Yuri awake and eating, good things he wanted to see. Asking about practice, Viktor told him things were basically all ready and now they just needed it to be the day so they could do this. Hearing that Yuri was feeling better made him happier as well since he hated seeing him in pain. Climbing into bed for the night he cuddled with Yuri before he fell asleep, he loved being back on the ice but this, being with Yuri each night was something he looked forward to more.

            Waking up early the day of the fundraiser Viktor ran over to Ice Castle to help set up. Yuri was coming over right before the start of the event since he couldn’t do much before than anyway. Going over the lineup one more time and making sure everything was set up for donations Viktor ran back to the house to grab all the clothes he needed, and to grab Yuri. After a quick shower he got Yuri’s approval for his outfit choice and helped him get out the door.

            “I think you look too formal, would people really care that you’re wearing a shirt and tie?”

            “Dress to impress right? Besides, I need to look good, we got a news crew there.” Feeling Yuri stop him before they left the bedroom door he asked what was wrong

            “A news crew? You didn’t tell me this before. I mean I’m not dressed like a slob but…”

            “Relax, your standard warm up jacket and pants are fine. You look amazing.” Kissing his lips to calm his nerves he got him going again.

            Pulling up to Ice Castle he could tell Yuri was shell shocked to see how many people actually came. Telling him they had to make a line because the building couldn’t hold anymore he knew Yuri was blown away.

            “You are loved by so many people Yuri, I’ve been telling you that.” Helping him out of the rented car they stopped as they heard people cheering. To most of them this was the first time they saw Yuri since the incident. They were happy to see him up. Wiping Yuri’s eyes he kept his arm around his shoulders and led them inside as they said hello to those that they could. Getting to the doorway Yuri stopped to thank them already for just being here. Getting Yuri settled off to the side of the rink Viktor went to the locker room to change so he would be ready when the event started. Their cue to enter the rink was Yuuko’s announcement to the crowd so they had to be ready. Looking at himself in the mirror was happy to see his old outfit still fit, he tried it on a few times already but today was the day that it mattered. All of them were wearing their last Free program outfit to please the crowd, so for him that was “Stay Close to Me.” It was funny how so much time had passed since then and it was the perfect choice.  Yuri would get a kick out of it.

Hearing Yuuko’s voice and the crowd cheering the four men left the locker room and headed towards the rink. The crowd was amazing as they entered, they couldn’t help but wave to everyone before hitting the ice and taking their marks. Thanking Yuuko for the introductions they got the event going. As the music started he looked over at Yuri to see he was with his parents, crying and smiling, good, they were doing good.

“Their opening is number called “Try.”  
            As the piano started in the song their right hand was raised on their given note, as the tempo picked Viktor started to skate backwards on his cue, then Yurio. This piece had been hard to put together since they all came from having different skills but he was confident they could pull it off. In practice earlier it had gone off flawlessly, which was exciting knowing Yurio had only learned it the other day. On the double beat Christophe and Phichit started to move forward, just like they had in rehearsal. In perfect sync their right hands moved around their heads with a slight tilt and moved into a shrug. Moving right into a single jump they came out of it to meet in the middle on the edges of the rink from a outside spread eagle. Crisscrossing in the center they did a double toe loop before landing and separating to move to the opposite sides of the rink again. Turning with a simple leg raise they followed the rhythm. As the lyrics started again they went into a quad toe loop from the speed of the backwards skating. Landing on one foot they twisted their bodies to a line themselves into a better position for what came next. Moving into a horizontal line Viktor and Phichit went down into a lunge with Yurio and Christophe moving down into a sitting spin. As the chorus was ending they moved from a butterfly jump into a biellmann spin.

As the song was coming to an end they used hydroblading to give off the impression of laying on the ice and slowly they raised up to go right into a upright spin which they had timed to stop as the music faded. Taking a moment in their final position they tried to catch their breath. Viktor led the bows as he tried to breathe right. He was always out of breathe in practice but between the nerves and excitement he could feel his lungs burning for air and the sweat pouring off of him. The others left the ice leaving Viktor to stand there as Yuuko met him with a microphone so he could thank everyone for coming and to officially welcome them. Explaining to them how to donate and how it would cover Yuri’s operation he moved off the ice to let Yuri say hello. Handing him the mic he realized he never told him this was part of the plan. Putting an arm around him he squeezed him for encouragement.

“As most of you have heard I messed up my back while practicing for the grand prix. I have no one to blame but myself for my careless actions that led to this. I damaged three disks in my back and one is pushing against my spinal cord which is why I haven’t been out much. Being on my feet for long periods of time can become extremely painful. While I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to competitively compete again I would like to feel like I can live a normal life again. One where I don’t have to rely on Viktor or others to help me around and can do things for myself. Really, I just want to be able to be active again and tie my shoes.” Watching him laugh at his own joke Viktor kissed his temple. “Even if you don’t donate please know that just having you here and knowing you have cared so much for me these past weeks means a lot to me.” Handing the mic back to Viktor they were silent as the crowd cheered. It was hard to not get teary eyed watching Yuri start to cry again.

While Yuuko explained how the event would play out and to again point out where donations could be made Viktor quickly ran to change. He was up first after all. Grabbing water he switched into a black top v-neck that was open further than he preferred. It wasn’t bad though, his chest wasn’t too exposed which was nice. He bought it for the design though, there were red rhinestones on the collar, around the neck’s trim and across the front. It reminded him of a long flower. Fixing himself in the mirror he give himself the okay and moved back to the rink. Giving Yuuko a thumbs up he was ready she welcomed him back to the ice.

“Please welcome Viktor Nikiforov back onto the ice for his first solo performance since he became Yuri’s coach.”

Coming back on he smiled and did a quick lap to get himself ready before he heard her say this was called “Mercy” and the music started. Moving slowly around the rink he kept his head down and his hands at his side. Gently touching his face as the lyrics started he turned into a slow spin with his feet pointed away from each other. Ending up in front of where Yuri was sitting he lunged to spin on his knees. Coming up he pushed back using the air and his hands before they opened wide in front of him. Gracefully going into a camel spin which turned into a flying sit spin he let the music wash over him. As he stood, he covered his heart to have it fit the lyrics. Once he knew what songs he was using the programs made themselves. This one was one of the easiest of the three as the story unfolded before he very eyes.

It was the story of the last month or so since Yuri’s accident. How he felt they had gotten closer, how their love grew only for Yuri to keep pushing him away. The chorus was used to show how he felt when Yuri told him to go back to Russia the first time, how he believed he was better off leaving him in Japan as he was. Coming to the part of the song that talked about consuming all the air in his lungs he moved into his step sequence. He wanted this part to show how he truly loved the other, how he would give up everything to stay with him and to show they could be happy together. Begging for mercy in a lunge that started at the back of the rink he came to the middle and moved to his knees as the song ended the way it started. Sitting on his legs his head dropped as the music finished in perfect sync. Taking a long sigh he could hear the crowd cheering, had they been doing that the whole time or did it just start? Standing on the ice he bowed and made his way off after he introduced Christophe on. Making his way to Yuri he sat beside him and grabbed water he left here for himself.

“Viktor…”

Looking over at Yuri he noticed he seemed in awe and almost heartbroken. “What’s wrong Yuri? Something happen?”

“You were skating for me weren’t you?”

“This whole thing is for you.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Putting his bottle down, he moved closer to Yuri and put his arm around him. “You are my biggest muse.”

“I’ve been such an ass to you.”

“That wasn’t what I was going for. You’ve been dealing with a lot. I just want to remind you that I really love you, no matter what happens.”

“I love you too. It wasn’t hard to see your story in that piece.” Kissing Yuri’s temple he kept him close while they watched Christophe. Feeling Yuri shiver it was nice to see some things had never changed.

“How did you bribe Yurio to come here?” At Yuri’s question while they watched Yurio, Viktor finished putting on his suit jacket. He was starting to get cold and knew he wasn’t going to be moving again for a while. Moving his focus back to Yurio who was just blowing it away he smiled.

“I didn’t. You did. He called me and asked if he could. I figured you’d like the surprise.”

“Well, I am surprised I’ll say that much. Last time we spoke he told me I got what was coming to me for being a weak loser.”

Hearing those words Viktor realized he finally learned what Yurio told him the night he answered his phone after the final. He wondered what had changed between then and now and hoped Yurio wasn’t doing this to later shove it in Yuri’s face. Though, he did look generally happy to be here. Maybe Yakov spoke to him after the competition, maybe he learned of how badly he was harassing the other.

“I want you to know Viktor, you looked amazing out there. In that first piece and your solo one. You looked really happy to. And seeing you in that outfit…think about it. That is what got you here.”

“I won’t lie, it’s been fun doing this again.”

Watching Yuri start to play with his hands he knew what was coming.

“Why don’t you try attending the Russian Nationals?”

“Yuri. Let’s not do this now.”

“I don’t mean dropping everything to go. But, well. If my operation is done soon there would be no reason for you not to be able to go. We can go together and I can support you. Viktor, I won’t lie. I really love seeing you on the ice. You look so free and happy. Figure skating is a part of you and I don’t want our relationship to kill that for you. I noticed it when we watched the grand prix finals too, you miss it.”

Sighing, he lifted Yuri’s chin and smiled into his lovers eyes. “You’re right I do miss it. I miss it a lot and doing all of this made me realize that. I just don’t want to leave you behind. We will talk about this later but, well, if you can get your operation and are doing well in recovery I’ll give it more thought.” Watching Yuri nod and smile he knew there was another reason Yuri wanted him back on the ice that he wasn’t saying. Putting his arms around him he hugged him close. Feeling Yuri hug him back a thought came to mind, wasn’t Yuri a huge fan of his before he became his coach? Did his boyfriend still see him as an idol?

Before Viktor had to change for his second number he re-entered the ice to give an update on how much was raised so far. In the two hours they had already been there they had raised just under half of the 21,000 they needed. There was a good chance by the time this was over Yuri would have his operation paid for in full.

Coming back to the rink he was wearing a red and black one piece. He wasn’t really a fan of one pieces but for this program he thought it was fitting. Fixing the ruffles on his sleeves he grabbed the mic from Yuuko as he touched the ice. Talking to the crowd about how this theme for him was supportive love he hoped to express to everyone, and to Yuri that this was something that was only possible by experiencing it on much greater level since meeting and being with Yuri.

“This program is titled ‘Unconditionally’. A song I just recently learned about but found it be the perfect representation of my personal feelings.” Handing the mic back to Yuuko he took his mark and gave the signal to let the song start. With the music starting he moved forward in a nice pace to match the tempo. This story was easy to create, it was directed towards Yuri. It spoke of how no matter what happened in the future he would love him the same. The love he shared for him would never falter. The faster tempo and rhythm also made it easier to express. With the conversation he had with Yuri earlier play in his mind his heart raced at the idea of maybe using this program in the nationals. Show the world his love, and his commitment to the other.  While this program wasn’t jump heavy it had more advanced footwork, something he admired by watching Yuri in practice and was something he wanted to work on more. Feeling his focus get off what was coming next he let his body move to the music. As the song ended he finished and noticed his focus was on Yuri. He was covering his mouth, but he looked happy. His eyes were glistening weren’t they? Once he could, he moved off the ice and saw Yurio and the others were staring at him with a look of shock on their faces. What? Did he outfit split on him?

“Guys, what is with that look?”

“You told me you didn’t want to do the quadruple flip.” At Christophe’s words he thought back to his program. He didn’t plan one.

“I didn’t have one set. I didn’t want to risk upsetting Yuri.”

“Well…you did. Two of them in fact.”

Whipping his head towards Yuri he practically ran to him forgetting about covering his other blade.

“Yuri…I am so sorry. I wasn’t planning that.” Falling to his knees he hoped he didn’t hurt him, the last thing he wanted to do was make him cry.

“That was amazing Viktor. And I’ve never seen you do two in one set. I’m really glad that even after all this time with me you can still do your signature move.”

“You’re not hurt by it? I wasn’t planning those at all. I didn’t want to make you think I was rubbing it in your face that I could and you couldn’t.”

“What? No. Viktor you’re an idiot.” Seeing him smile and put his arms around Viktor’s neck he felt his vision go blurry as Yuri pulled him close.

Getting up to change for the last time Viktor was glad the event was winding down. They had reached their goal an hour ago but the line of people still wanting to donate was amazing. The rest of the money would go to paying for physical therapy and making sure Yuri’s doctor bills were paid. Looking at himself in his final outfit he fixed his hair a bit. It was starting to look sweaty. This final program was his pride and joy and he wanted to look his best. Happy to be in black skate pants again he made sure his shirt was tucked in evenly. The white, blue, green shirt was beautiful in the tone of colors and the gemstones along the bottom gave just the right amount of sparkle. Coming out of the locker room he moved back beside Yuri and convinced him to move towards the rink wall.

“Promise me you won’t move from this spot.”

“Okay. But why?”

“You’ll see. I just want to make sure you get the best view of this. There is a reason this program is last.” Giving him a kiss he watched as Yuri’s cheeks turned bright red as the crowd around them cheered. Taking his blade covers off and handing them to Phichit, as he was staying beside Yuri to make sure he would be alright, he went to the ice. Not taking a mic he talked over the crowd who shushed as he spoke.

“Thank you all for coming, as you know we have already ready the goal of 21,000. The rest of the money will be used to help future doctor visits and physical therapy. In a few days we will release the final total of donations! Your love and support for Yuri was greater than I imagined. To close out the event I want to share a program I created first. After we started to plan the fundraiser I struggled to find the right music to tell the stories in my heart. This song was the first one I found after a long search. Yuri, this one is for you. It’s called “Stand By You.”

Moving towards the center of the rink he met Yuri’s gaze and smiled cuing for the music to start.

_Even if we can't find heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven_

Looking up towards the sky he smiled. _  
Hands, put your empty hands in mine_

Grabbing his own hands he skated backwards with simple backwards crossover _  
And scars—show me all the scars you hide_

Which he used to turn his direction around as he hugged his arms. _  
And hey, if your wings are broken_

Releasing them, he opened his arms up as he rotated his body, _  
Please take mine so yours can open, too_

To give him enough momentum to go into a double spin, _  
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you_

Right into a triple lutz, __  
  
Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes

Landing, he moved into a salchow _  
And hurt, I know you're hurting, but so am I_

Going into a sit spin he added a small variation so he could lift his left arm up _  
And, love, if your wings are broken_

Reaching for the broken Yuri he saw in his mind he moved into a standing spin before he pushed back to go into a step sequence. _  
Borrow mine 'til yours can open, too_

Reaching out, he was giving to Yuri everything he had. Though, he knew it would never be enough to cover the cost of all Yuri had done for him.

_'Cause I'm gonna stand by you_

With an outside spread eagle he gave the illusion that there was someone beside him as he moved across the ice. __  
  
Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through

Viktor wanted Yuri to see the thoughts he was having, the dream he wanted to share with him. No matter what tomorrow faced he wanted to face it with him. _  
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you_

He was told, growing up, he would never get this far. Love was something he was forbidden from experiencing, not only would it kill his skating career but it was unnatural. _  
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you_

After the accident he could feel his heart falling more and more in love with his once student. He wanted to stay beside him, be the strength he needed to get up in the morning. _  
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you_

No matter what anyone told them he wanted to prove them wrong. What they had was real and no one could take that away from them. They didn’t have to live in a mansion, have millions, or sponsorships, he just needed Yuri to love him back. _  
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you_

Moving into a quadruple toe loop he let his heart show that he was ready to do whatever he had to stay beside Yuri. Before, he was scared of his past, of what he was told growing up but he wasn’t scared anymore. _  
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you_

Reminding Yuri that he would be here for him when the operation ended he let him know the promise Yuri made to him on his birthday would stay with him for years to come. __  
  


_Yeah, you're all I never knew I needed_

Before he met Yuri at the banquet he never knew love was something he needed. Yes, he had wanted to experience it but he wasn’t really searching for it. The flings here and there were just things that happened in between seasons.  
  


_And the heart—sometimes it's unclear why it's beating_

Cupping his hands over his heart his mind reminded him of the day he told his parents he had a crush on a guy he saw at Yakov’s summer camp. He had never seen them so mad before, he thought his father was going to kill him where he stood. And to be reminded that he was unlovable, he had wanted to vanish. _  
And, love, if your wings are broken_

Watching Yuri at last year’s final and placing last after a series of mistakes he wanted to know what he was thinking. Was it just the curse of the Grand Prix getting to him? It wasn’t unheard of that first timers to the Grand Prix finals lost their nerve in competition. Still, the words of his parents kept him from going to him and at least saying he did fine for a first attempt. _  
We can brave through those emotions, too_

Having Yuri come up to him at the banquet, clearly drunk, and asking to dance with him was something he wasn’t expecting. But, seeing the look in his eyes of a non sexual desire he agreed. Something about Yuri drew him in. He wasn’t worried about what others would say or think, he just knew his heart was telling him to take the plunge and let loose for once. It was just a dance.

_'Cause I'm gonna stand by you_

After that night, after Yuri asking him to come to Hasetsu and become his coach he could feel his heart and soul telling him that that was what he wanted. He could feel it during his last performance, something had to change for him. He wasn’t enjoying skating anymore. The reason to keep going was gone. He wanted to lift Yuri’s spirits and let him fall in love with a sport he could tell he loved.  
  
Oh, truth—I guess truth is what you believe in

Having Yuri’s words of defeat play back in his mind after he learned the price to fix his back he expressed how he knew he had to do something for him. _  
And faith—I think faith is having a reason_

Showing the audience how he had to push forward to get Yuri to understand that he truly loved him he expressed how his faith in keeping their mutual love powered them both even today. _  
And I know now, love, if your wings are broken_

Touching the ring on his finger he brought it to his lips as he came around and found Yuri’s eyes.  
Borrow mine 'til yours can open, too  
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you.  
  
            By the time the song was ending he could feel his face wet with tears from the memories and the dreams he shared with Yuri. Moving into the position that mirrored Yuri’s free skate his fingers faced Yuri, perfect, just as he planned. He couldn’t breath, he couldn’t see, but he knew Yuri was watching him. Taking a bow finally he looked up to see Yuri had moved. Had he upset him? Hearing his name he noticed Yuri had moved to the rink entrance, his arms were reached out towards him. Running towards him he reached for him to lift him in his arms and spun him over the ice. Feeling Yuri kiss him with salty lips as his arms went around his neck he didn’t want to let him go. Hearing Yuri hiss he quickly realized he was probably hurting him since his arms were around his back from the lift. Gently putting him down he got lost in his lovers eyes, they were so beautiful. The most wonderful shade of brown he had ever seen.

“Kiss him!” The crowd cheered and chanted until Viktor leaned down to kiss Yuri again. He didn’t need a reason to show how much he loved him.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Over 5,000 words and 19 pages. This was super hard to write because of the ice skating but I couldn’t just not include it. Since I can’t link videos I am going to put the ending on here so you guys can see what Viktor was wearing and the inspiration I got to use each song. Hope you guys really liked this chapter, and this story isn’t done yet.

~Femalefighter~

These are all from youtube.

/watch?v=evsFQUBAgU4&t=203s (Try)

/watch?v=xtElMgC_cVw&t=55s (Mercy)

/watch?v=KAcnnjH_efg&t=74s (unconditional)

/watch?v=5jkY3Ad_kmw (stand by you) This video is amazing BTW

 _Viktor’s one piece-_ /watch?v=hy2MwkR-k2E

Viktor’s stand by you *heavily inspired by this outfit*- /watch?v=7hsZ0-bsDjg

Aliexpress

/item/2015-Figure-Skating-Dresses-For-Men-Boys-Fashion-New-Brand-Vogue-Figure-Skating-Competition-Dress-Customized/32295113694.html?spm=2114.40010308.4.117.OlgaZU


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Keeping Yuri’s hand in his own he sat with him and his family in the kitchen while Yuri called the doctor to set up his surgery appointment. It only took two days after the fundraiser to count all the funds they had collected. They knew at the event that Yuri was good to go but they were curious what the final number was. Yuri had talked about giving the extra money back because he felt bad for keeping it but the town’s people told him to use it on any other bills he had and to make sure he could continue to live safely. It was the sweetest of gestures and Yuri promised them all he would do his very best after everything to skate again for them. Viktor didn’t see that happening, knowing how severe the injuries were but if Yuri couldn’t skate for them than he would. He considered them his friends and family as well and do anything to make them proud. Watching Yuri hang up he heard that the surgery was scheduled in two weeks’ time. That wasn’t terrible, he would help get Yuri though the next two weeks as he had been and would make sure he took it easy.

            Coming to his room Viktor saw Yuri using his laptop to watch something and had a horrified look on his face. Quickly moving towards him he took the laptop from him and shut it.

            “Stop watching videos on what is going to happen.”

            “I just want to know what they will be doing to me.”

            “But it’s making you uneasy.” Putting his knee on the bed he leaned over to kiss his lovers lips. Let their love be the only thing he needed to know and reassure Yuri that everything would okay. Keeping his laptop away from Yuri he moved next to him on the bed to hold him close. Feeling him snuggle his face into his chest Viktor knew something was on his mind. Gently running his fingers through his hair he waited patiently for Yuri to tell him what was on his mind. He’d like to think that they had gotten to a point in their relationship where Yuri felt comfortable coming and talking to him about things when he was ready.

            “I really want to be healed before you go back to Russia.”

            “I already told you I’m not going back if you aren’t back on your feet. I don’t want you to start therapy here and finish it there.”

            “It could take months of physical therapy though, and I really want to see you compete in Nationals. Besides, you already told Yakov you were.”

            “I told him I was planning on it. Yuri, I don’t know why you are so insistent that I compete this season but understand that if I go and leave you here than I won’t compete at my best.” Moving Yuri away from him he had their eyes meet. He wanted to know what the other was thinking. After the fundraiser they talked deeply about the Russian Nationals and he knew Yuri was giving his full support of him attending them, but, he really didn’t want to leave him here to recover on his own. Sure, Yuri had family and friends here to support him but he wanted to see with his own two eyes that he was on the right path. “Yuri, enough dodging me on this, alright. Tell me, why are you so persistent that I compete?”

            Watching Yuri’s eyes look down at his bed as he grabbed their hands to squeeze them a little. “I’m just…well…I don’t want to kill your career Viktor. I get you love me and want to stay with me and don’t get me wrong, it means a lot. I just. I want to see you do what you love again. Watching you skate, it was like I was a child again. I used to watch all your performances on TV with Yuuko. At the fundraiser it brought me back to those days. You told me you stopped skating last season because you lost your drive. You couldn’t surprise your fans anymore but watching you out there, I could see it. It’s back, those programs were beautiful and unlike anything I had ever seen from you. And we both know that if you wait any longer than a comeback will be even harder. Viktor, please don’t retire yet.” Hearing him plea as he dug his head back into his chest Viktor put his arms back around him.

            “If. And this is a huge if, if I go back to Russia and you aren’t fully recovered the first thing we are doing is finding you the best physical therapist.” Feeling Yuri nod against him he could see he was smiling even though he couldn’t see his face. “And, once you are completely back on your feet we are sitting down and doing some serious talking about us.” Having him look up at him again he could see his younger lover was confused by what he was getting at.

            “Us? In what way?”

            “Yuri, Yuri, Yuri. You are still so young and naïve it’s adorable.” Leaning down to kiss him, he smiled against his lovers lips. “I want to spend forever with you Yuri. I know you want to take things slow and I respect that. I’m not about to force you into anything. I just want you to know that I see my future with you. Once things settle down for you I’d like to pursue that idea further.” At Yuri’s face exploding into a red blush Viktor kissed him again, he was too precious for this world. How did he ever get so lucky to be loved by him?

            The night before the operation Viktor came upstairs with tea for them figuring Yuri would be too nervous to sleep. He knew he nervous about tomorrow and he wasn’t the one going under the knife. Seeing Yuri quickly shut his laptop as he walked in he knew he was watching more videos on the procedure.

            “If you would stop you wouldn’t be so worried about me finding you watching them.” Handing him his tea he used his now free hand to slide his laptop over.

            “Sorry. I was just looking into something else and got sidetracked.”

            “Sure you were. I bet my entire browser history is videos and information on spinal cord procedures.” Cuddling up beside him he held Yuri close so they could relax before they attempted sleep for the night.

            “I’m just…paralysis is a really big fear for me and I wanted to see if I could find statistics on it.”

            “Did you find any?” Watching him shake his head he knew Yuri had been worried about this for some time now but didn’t want to say anything.

            “No. I mean, they mentioned it as a complication and the doctor told me it could happen knowing how bad my back was damaged but I don’t have any concrete numbers.”

            “That’s a good thing than, right?”

            “I guess. Viktor. Can I ask a favor from you?”

            “Sure Yuri. You can ask me anything. If I can do it for you I will, you know that.” Kissing the top of his head he watched as he pulled away.

            “I want to go on the ice. Take me out on the ice Viktor. Please.”

            “Yuri.” Pulling away he put his cup down and looked at the other. “We both know that isn’t a good idea. If you fall you’ll only damage your back more and tomorrow may not matter than.”

            “I’m not asking for anything fancy. I don’t want to try spins or jumps. I just want to be out there one more in time. In case something happens tomorrow. And I want to be out there with you.” Seeing Yuri’s face turn red Viktor stayed quiet as Yuri put his cup down as well and played with his hands before grabbing Viktor’s and looking into his eyes. “I…I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while but I was too embarrassed about what you might think. Than the other week you brought up us and it brought up this stupid old dream I had. Viktor…I had this dream that you and I could do a program together one day. When…when you first came out here and you were teaching me Eros I realized how much I enjoyed having you beside me. Being on the ice with you in sync…well…it made me really happy. I don’t know your thoughts on that idea but I figure after tomorrow it will never happen but, please Viktor. Just this once. Skate with me.”

            Having Yuri’s pleading eyes digging into his soul Viktor squeezed their hands. “Yuri. I…we share a dream it seems. Falling in love with you I realized how much I would love to try that with you. The stories we could tell, it would be magical.” Still, he was hesitant, if anything happened to Yuri he would never forgive himself. “We can do this but only under one condition, if you are hurting in any way we stop right away and you rest. And, let me lead so you can rest on me. Okay?” Seeing Yuri’s eyes light up Viktor smiled and gave him another kiss before he felt him break away.

            “Really?! We can go? You will really do this with me?”

            “Yes Yuri. I’m saying let’s give a try.” Smiling back at him he went to move away so he could grab their shoes only to have Yuri put his arms around him and hug him tight.

            “I love you Viktor. You really are too good for me.”

            “I love you too Yuri.”

            Coming to Ice Castle they knew it was late and close to closing, they didn’t plan to be here long though. Seeing Yuuko at the front desk she was happy to let them skate as long as they liked. Though, Viktor could tell she was nervous about Yuri being out there as much as he was. Deep down the only reason he was allowing this was because he knew that if something happened tomorrow and Yuri never walked again he would always have this longing for the ice, and to be with him. Viktor also knew for himself that if Yuri couldn’t walk than he was going to retire himself. There would be no way he could skate knowing the love of his life was confined to a chair and forced to watch.

            Lacing Yuri’s boots for him, he took the blade covers off so it wouldn’t have to try to do it at the rink entrance.

            “Yuri. Are your blades even sharp? I don’t want you tripping from dull blades.”

            “They should be. I had them done not to long before I got hurt.” Giving them the finger test he approved and helped Yuri to his feet.

            “Remember, gently, and nothing crazy.”

            “I promise Viktor, I just want to glide a bit. I’ve missed this way more than I’ve been letting on.”

            Going onto the ice first, he helped Yuri enter keeping his arm around his waist for support. “So far so good?”

            “I’m fine. I hurt my back but I didn’t forget how to skate. I’ve been doing it years. A little injury isn’t going to make me forget how.”

            Taking their time they moved around the rink together, staying close to the wall in case Yuri had to grab it for support. After a few laps Viktor felt Yuri move his hand off his waist so they could move in more.

            “Yuri…”

            “Will you stop? I’m fine. Honest.”

            Shushing himself he stayed beside him until Yuri stopped. Putting his arm back around him he kept him close to his chest. “My rule was I lead remember?” Giving Yuri a slight nudge he moved him closer to his body. He couldn’t deny this, he was fully enjoying this with the other. And seeing Yuri so happy made his heart happy as well.

            “Viktor, did you know Aria has another version to it?”

            “I did. It’s just as beautiful. We can play it at our wedding.”

            “Sounds nice.” Hearing Yuri’s light laughter as he kept his head against Viktor’s chest, Viktor realized Yuri wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying. They could talk about all of that at another time. Their main focus right now was each other and Yuri’s healing. “I always wanted to ask. Why did you always look so sad when you performed that piece? Doesn’t it translate to stay close to me?”

            Shifting a bit to get away from the wall Viktor looked down at his lover as he continued to skate backwards. “It does. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I chose that piece because I thought it was beautiful but. Well, I never really loved it. I struggled to envision someone I wanted to stay with me. I’ve told you of my past right?”

            “With your parents?”

            “With my lovers. Yuri…you’re the first person I’ve been with that hasn’t just been some fling.”

            “You’re the playboy though, so many sought after you.”

            “So I’ve been told.” Looking into his boyfriend’s eyes he could tell this was a surprising fact he was learning. “I just…I was told a lot growing up that no one would ever love me. I wasn’t worth it and so I started to believe them. I never used any of the women I was with but we never shared anything. They were there for the nights I wanted to go out with someone and that was it. Do a couple dates and then we would just lose touch. When you approached me you were the first person to do so and not expect anything from it. I think I came here because the love you had for me was unlike anything I had ever known. You scared me but it was a good thing, and coming here was probably the biggest risk I’d ever taken but I don’t regret it for a second.”

            “Viktor. I never would have realized any of this. You showed up so confidently and ready to go I figured you had this grand idea. I didn’t realize it was just to get with me.”

            “Well…I came to coach you because I knew you were capable of more than you showed at the final, falling in love with you was just a nice bonus. I was confident because I believed I could make you a gold winner.”

            “And now…now I’m just.”

            “Just an amazing man who has come so far and I have never been prouder of.” Kissing his lips he made sure they couldn’t speak anymore lies.

            Viktor refused to let go of Yuri’s hand until he had to. They had been at the hospital since seven this morning waiting for everything to be ready for Yuri’s operation. Viktor knew everything would go well and Yuri would be fine but he didn’t want to leave his side. He knew Yuri’s biggest fears though and didn’t want him to face them alone.

            “Viktor...can I ask you something?”

            “Sure Yuri. Need something?” Cuddling him closer he watched as Yuri was in his mind again, that boy would make himself crazy this way.

            “If I can’t walk…”

            “Yuri stop.”

            “Listen. If something happens and I can’t walk…will you still love me?”

            “Yuri.” His heart broke at the question. Yuri shouldn’t feel like he had to ask. Did he not show him enough affection to make the answer well known? “I’ll love you no matter what. Even when you’re old and grey.”

            “Really?”

            “Really.” Changing positions he leaned down to kiss him. He could feel his lips quivering, his boyfriend was so nervous, he wished he could make him feel better. When they parted Yuri played with his hands until he grabbed Viktor’s again.

            “Keep this safe for me please. I can’t wear it during the operation.”

            Looking at his hand he saw it was Yuri’s ring. Slipping it on his other ring finger he kissed him again. “I’ll take good care of it until you are out.”

            Siting in the waiting room with Yuri’s family and friends he text Phichit, Christophe, and Yurio about how things were going so far. He didn’t know anything but he promised to keep them updated. They had all gone home shortly after the fundraiser so they could prepare for Nationals in their country and neither of them blamed them. They had been here longer than they had figured and had done so much for them. Yuri had promised them he would get better and pay them back somehow for everything. Getting restless Viktor spun Yuri’s ring in this fingers as he stood up and paced the room. Yuri had the best doctor in his field, he made sure he received the best. Yuri had dreams and he would make sure they came true for him.

            “Viktor hunny, if you are feeling restless you can walk around. They said he will be in there for a few hours.” Hearing Yuri’s mom he shook his head and sat back down beside her. Feeling her take his hand he smiled and squeezed her hand. She was amazing, he felt like she treated him like her own, he hoped he could do her proud.

            “Ma’am. Can I ask you something? Something about Yuri?”

            “Of course dear. What would you like to know?”

            “Do you think you and your husband would give Yuri and myself your blessing if I asked him to marry me one day?” Feeling her hug him he took that as a yes. He wasn’t really thinking about it. He wanted Yuri fully recovered and if they were going back to Russia he wanted to see how he liked it there before he planned further but he wanted to make sure they would bless their marriage knowing full well his own parents would never.

            After three hours of waiting Viktor jumped to his feet as a nurse came into the waiting room. Waiting for Yuri’s parents to go see him first Viktor was going to stay outside of his room only to feel Yuri’s mother take his hand and have him join them.

            “He will be happy to see you.”

            He was happy to see Yuri looking well. He was still asleep but he didn’t look like he was in pain yet. Viktor had looked into what was coming for him so he could help him better and knew there would be a lot of pain. Together they would get him through it and on the right path.

            “Mmmm…Viktor?” Seeing Yuri wake up he smiled wider as he stayed at the foot of the bed.

            “I’m right here love.”

            “Are you…are you touching my feet?” He was still so groggy he was adorable.

Smiling wider he gave a little more pressure to his toes.

            “Why are you doing that? It kinda tickles.”

            Waiting for it to click he just wiggled Yuri’s toes a little as best he could with the cover still being over them. “You can feel that?”

            “Yes….why woul….oh! I can feel that! Viktor I can feel you touching my toes!”

            Having it click for his lover Viktor ran over to him and put his arms around him. Feeling Yuri cry on his shoulder out of happiness he felt his eyes get watery as well. “I love you Yuri. I knew you would be alright.”

0o0o0

So not as long as the last one but that is a rare occasion. All the fluff and love and Yuri is out of surgery so yay! The amazing reviews have been incredible, and I cried over one, and I honestly can’t thank everyone for the support. You guys keep me going. Next chapter will be up in the next day or so.

~Femalefighter~


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Staring horrified, Viktor stood beside Yuri wishing there was something he could do. He knew this was a side effect of the operation but he hated just standing by and watching. Feeling Yuri gripping his arm he tried to get him to sit on the edge of the bed for right now. He knew he wanted to go downstairs but that was out until the pain lifted. Sitting beside him he watched and waited as Yuri took a long exhale.

            “God that hurts.” Feeling Yuri lean into him Viktor did what he could to help the pain he was feeling from the back spasm. They had been warned this could happen as the spine healed but neither realized fully the pain it could put Yuri in.

            “Will you be okay long enough for me to get your pills from the bathroom?” Seeing Yuri nod he kissed his temple and stood up to leave and come right back. Since he had to be on strong pain pills they decided it would be best to keep them out of the room to avoid accidental overdosing. He didn’t think Yuri would attempt anything but if he hurt and took more too early he could face issues. Not even gone two minutes he handed Yuri what he was allowed to take and a glass of water and watched him shoot it back. Sitting beside him again he rubbed his hand gently across his upper back careful to make sure he didn’t go near the incision mark. They didn’t talk about it but Yuri had woken up in tears a few nights already from the pain in his back. The spasms were rare, this being only his second one but it seemed soon after his pain medication wore off he was in dire amounts of pain. Viktor still thought about the second night Yuri came home and he woke up to him practically writhing in pain.

            “I can’t leave you like this you know that right?”

            “I’ll be fine Viktor. Promise.” Feeling Yuri take and squeeze his hand he tried his best to smile back at his love.

            “No one is going to be around you like I am at night. When you’re in pain you can’t move to grab your pills. I don’t want you in pain like that for hours until someone checks on you in the morning.”

            “I’ll be fine. It’s getting better I swear. By the time you leave I’ll be sleeping through the night.”

            Try as he might he knew Yuri was going to be stubborn on this and make him keep the plans they had made. After Yuri got home from the hospital he made Viktor sit and really consider Nationals. If he did he would have to leave soon so he could get some practice in before they started. He also had to fly out early to find a place to stay. Viktor really wasn’t crazy about this idea at all but Yuri was being persistent. His biggest fear though was if he left and Yuri fell into depression again who would there to help him. He really didn’t think he ever told his family about what happened.

            “If I find a place you need to promise me you’ll heal nicely and as quickly as you can so you can join me out there.”

            “I promise. I’ll be on the first flight I can be on.” At Yuri’s kiss Viktor put his arms around him and kept him close. Knowing he would be going back to Russia was a weird thought, but knowing he was going without Yuri was the hardest part.

            That night Viktor sat on his bed with Yuri between his legs going over the apartment listings he found online. Pointing out the place he used to live in he showed him the building and overall floor plan.

            “You liked this place right? When you lived here?”

            “Yea, the landlord was really nice and the rooms were spacious. Makkachin and I loved it there, didn’t we boy?” Watching him bark happily Viktor saw him put his head back on Yuri’s leg. It was hard to believe that they weren’t some happy little family. He felt like they were, just the three of them, looking for a place to live peacefully.

            “Are you going to look into it while you are there?”

            “It’s my first stop actually. It says they have vacancies but I want to see if it’s what I had before or their one bedroom pieces. If it’s their one I probably won’t get it.”

            “Oh?”

            “It’s small. I saw it when I first moved there. The two-bedroom units are nicer.”

            “Ah.” Yuri cuddled in on him as he took control of the touch pad and scrolled through the pages. He looked so cute opening up pictures of different places and layouts in the area they had considered. While Viktor really wasn’t crazy about looking for a place right now he did notice his heart was fluttering more with the idea that he would be having his own place with Yuri. Hearing his phone going off he answered it and carefully moved away from Yuri for no other reason than he didn’t want to disturb his scrolling. Staying in the room but moving towards the door he didn’t speak to Yakov long before he hung up and went back to the bed to continue his cuddling session with his boyfriend. Seeing Yuri looking at him with a smirk he stopped as he climbing on the bed.

            “What’s with that face?”

            “You were speaking Russian. I haven’t heard you use your mother tongue since we were in Russia.”

            “You better get used to it, you’ll be hearing it from me a lot.” Still, he was smiling as he crashed beside Yuri and rested his head on the leg Makkachin wasn’t using. “You’re going to have to learn it too. English isn’t all that common, though I know people know it so if you get really stuck talk to someone our age and younger and you should be okay but it’s best to know some Russian. It will be fun teaching you it. And hearing you speak it! Oh I am excited now!” Getting excited he rolled over and sat up so he could kiss him.

            “If you’re the one teaching me that means you’ll get too busy and I’ll never learn so I’ll have to follow you around like some puppy.”

            “Is that really so bad though? You staying close to me?” Giving his best hurt eyes he knew Yuri knew he was only teasing before he kissed behind his ear. He didn’t have to look at Yuri’s face to know it was beat red.

            Standing at the door to the springs Viktor bent down to give Makkachin a big hug and remind him to be good for Yuri.

            “You be good and I’ll be back soon with keys to our new place okay? You’ll be so proud of me when you see it.” It was strange knowing that it wouldn’t just be him and his dog anymore. After he moved out on his own he noticed he was lonely so he did what every lonely person did and bought a dog. Makkachin was his best friend and companion and even though he had left for competition after competition he still came home to his happy face. Now, it would be the two of them and Yuri. Not that he was complaining, he loved Yuri a lot, he just knew it was going to take some getting used to. He also felt better leaving him here knowing he loved Yuri too. He didn’t want his best friend and his boyfriend to hate each other, he wasn’t going to choose one. With one more tight hug he stood and hugged Yuri. “I’ll call you when I land and once I get a chance to look at the apartment I’ll facetime you so you can take a look at it.”

            “I’m sure I’ll like whatever you choose Viktor.”

            “This will be your place too I want you to love it.”

            “Okay.”

            Pulling away, they smiled at each other before he kissed Yuri and put his stuff in the waiting taxi. He had so many butterflies in his stomach over going back he was hoping they didn’t make him sick. Stretching out in first class he made himself comfortable and tried to enjoy the flight. It wouldn’t be terribly long so that was nice. In about four hours he would be back in St. Petersburg after a year of being away. Playing with the ring on his finger he really wished Yuri was here with him. When he left he hid who he was, now the world knew, and he was terrified.

            Checking into his hotel he laid back on the bed and took a nice long exhale. So far so good. He knew he was panicking over nothing. Calling Yuri and letting him know he was here safe and sound and checking in with him he realized his stomach was growling. Knowing his appointment for the apartment wasn’t set until tomorrow morning he text Yurio once he could to see if he was around and wanted to do dinner. He should probably invite Yakov as well, he just wasn’t in the mood to get yelled at for coming back so close to nationals. Ideally, he would have been back a few weeks ago at the latest but he wanted to make sure Yuri had his surgery and was home before he came here. Answering Yurio’s call he sat up and slipped his shoes back on.

            “Where are you?”

            “Hi Yurio, glad to hear from you too.” Fixing the tongue he tied his one shoe while his kept his head pressed against his shoulder to hold the phone.

            “Did you just land?”

            “Pretty much. And I’m starving. Let’s get dinner.”

            “You paying?”

            “I can if you want. Just join me for dinner. I don’t feel like eating alone.”

            “Fine. Oh! I’m just leaving the rink….Yakov is joining me.”

            “Oh…yay…” With heavy sarcasm he finished up getting ready. “I’m just up the road from the rink if you guys want to wait.”

            “Good. Some of us had practice today.”

            Hanging up with Yurio, Viktor sighed and left the hotel, some things never changed it seemed.

            Meeting up with the others he went to hug Yakov only to be dodged and listening to the lecture starting over just arriving and lack of practice. He did have a good reason though, and he had been practicing in Japan. After letting Yurio pick a place to eat the three of them headed over together. It was nice to hear Yakov stop lecturing him once they got in the car.

            “How is Katsuki doing? Yuri told me the event went well.”

            “Yuri is doing really well. The surgery went really well so I’m glad for that. He should be starting therapy in the next week or so.” He knew Yakov was never happy he suddenly left for Japan but he was glad they could talk like this again. “He is coming out here once he is able. He won’t be able to compete of course but I’m excited to show him around.”

            “Don’t let him distract you Vitya.”

            “I know, I know. Love is a dangerous thing for us.” He found it hard not to smile at the old name he was given, he hadn’t heard it since he left. Playing with his ring he found he was doing it a lot. Touching it he felt like Yuri was with him, supporting him and keeping him strong. He didn’t feel as scared as he was earlier but it had been months since he didn’t have Yuri at his side.

            “Vitya….” Seeing Yakov was looking at his hand he pulled his hand back only to touch his ring a second later.

            “Relax, you’ll go grey.” Teasing, he knew Yakov wasn’t in the mood for joking. “I didn’t elope out there, we aren’t even engaged. Yet.” Watching Yakov choke a little Viktor looked out the car window and stayed silent the rest of the ride. While he was messing with Yakov he wanted to tell him the truth, he was getting older and he wanted to settle down one day. Even if he competed until he was too old to qualify he wanted to really focus on his dream of being with someone. Despite everything though he was really happy to be back.

            Waking up to his phone alarm Viktor sat up in bed hugging his pillow. He slept like garbage, no Yuri or Makkachin in his bed, how had he done this before? Laying back down he pushed the pillow over his face and grunted before he got up. He had to be at the apartment in a couple of hours he had to get moving.

            After a nice chat with the landlord he was glad to see it was the same owner. Opening his phone he called Yuri as promised to show him around the empty apartment.

            “This would be our bedroom. It’s the master bedroom.”

            “It looks big. If it held all of your things I’m sure it would be fine.”

            “Yuri. I really want you to love this.”

            “Sorry, sorry. I like the bedroom. Show me the other rooms.”

            Giving Yuri the grand tour he showed him every room and every nook and cranny.

            “It looks really nice.”

            “Want to think on it?” He could tell Yuri had something on his mind and knew this wasn’t the place to poke and prod him. “I don’t have to sign on anything right now. I can keep looking, you can compare and contrast.” Looking over that landlord he mouthed he would give him a call in a little bit. If he had to put money down to hold the apartment he would just in case Yuri said yes.

            Getting done he called the next place to see if he could pop in and take a look at it before he headed to practice. Doing the same thing with Yuri as he did before he noticed he just didn’t sound high spirited. Maybe it was late and he was tired? Promising to talk later he headed to the rink and changed for practice before Yakov started yelling at him for being late. Talking with his former rink mates he noticed most were glad to see him back while a few looked disgusted. Trying not to focus on it he warmed up and threw himself into the practice. Getting done with a first run through he let Yakov tell him everything he had to work upon, though, it wasn’t as long as he thought it would be.  Having the fundraiser really helped since he took one of the pieces from that and with help was able to cut it to fit the time frame allotted. “Mercy” was still one of his favorites and using it gave him a desire to really push the program to new heights. Even adding his quadruple flip he knew it would need more to reach the podium. He was competing with Yurio who had already shown he would be hard competition to beat. After a quick break he moved right into practicing his long program. It had been a tough one between “Unconditional” and “Stand By You” He loved both of them and he could turn either of them into winning pieces but he had to think about which one he could really do again and again. Yuri had been no help saying he loved both and both had elements that made them amazing. He had Yuuko to thank for his decision on Stand By You. She said there was something about how he performed it that was more memorable than the other. Showing Yakov where it was so far he noticed his jaw was hanging open, this was new. Looking around he saw those around him had their eyes on him and their mouths open. He didn’t think he messed up that badly. His one jump was short but it wasn’t that bad.

            “Vitya, I knew you were hiding your true potential. You have tapped into a side of yourself we have never seen before. It’s good to have you back.”

            “Thank you Yakov, that means a lot.”

            “Maybe Katsuki hasn’t been all bad for you.”

            “He gave me something to fight for.” The praise was short lived though as the lecture came right after about his short jump, and how his footwork was sloppy in the second half. Had he been like this with Yuri? He would have to ask him.

            Getting back to his hotel he collapsed on the bed after a hot shower and text Yuri to see if he was still up. He really wanted to make sure he was doing alright and to get his thoughts on the apartments. He really didn’t want to live in hotels that long, if he did than the apartment would be out. He needed to come back into the scene, his bank account needed him to.

            “How was practice?”

            “It went well. Yakov only yelled at me for a few minutes which is a first. How was your day? Makkachin taking good care of you?” Seeing Yuri move the phone camera over to see Makkachin resting against him Vikor smiled and waved.

            “I’m good. Everything is going well. I go back to the doctor’s tomorrow, hoping we talk about physical therapy.”

            “So. What is going on with you? Earlier I could tell something was up. This was your idea Yuri.”

            “I…I know and it is fine. I really liked the first one. I don’t know much about the area so I don’t know what factors are in play for them. If you like it than I like it to.”

            “Yuri, I may be in another country but I can see your face and you are a crap liar. What is going on in your mind?”

            “Nothing Viktor! Drop it!” Pulling back Viktor hated that he was so far away. He was scared this was going to happen.

            “Fine! Forget it than!” Hanging up on him he put his phone face down and flipped over onto his stomach. Yuri could be so frustrating sometimes. Feeling bad though about how he reacted he gave himself a minute before calling Yuri back. Hopefully he would answer.

            “I’m really sorry Viktor. I love you.”

            “I love you too.” Sitting back up, he moved the phone closer to his face. “Yuri, are you sure you’re alright? You look pale. Is the lighting in the room really that bad?”

            “No…I…it might be the lighting. I do look really pale.”

            “I swear to God, Yuri, if you are lying I will fly back there in a heartbeat.” Watching him not look into the camera he waited for him to try to lie. He knew it was coming.

            “Don’t fly back here. I’m alright I promise. I…I think I had a panic attack earlier.”

            He knew he had to say something other than ‘what’ but he wasn’t sure what to say. He knew he should never have left without him. Yuri had a lot going on right now and he knew he liked to keep his family at a certain distance.

            “You had a panic attack? Yuri that…what happened?” Making sure he didn’t sound judgmental or harsh he wanted Yuri to know he was really worried. He knew Yuri had a weak mental state but he was doing well. His back was healing nicely, he would doing physical therapy soon; he was on the right track to recovery.

            “I don’t want to talk about it right now. Please, Viktor. Just know I’m alright.”

            “Okay. I won’t push it. Just…keep me posted alright. I know I’ve got practice but if you need to talk Yuri, remember I’m always right here for you.”

            “I know. Thanks Viktor.”

            “I love you.” Blowing him a kiss he wished he could hold him right now and let him feel safe and secure.

            “I love you too. Have a good night.” Watching Yuri hang up he stared at his phone for a minute before putting it on the bed and curling up. What could have caused this?

0o0o0o0o

I’m sorry but I can’t just write all fluff it’s not in my nature. And as someone who suffers from anxiety, depression, and panic attacks it's something I know a lot about and can see Yuri dealing with it a more frequent basis.

 

           

 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Viktor woke up feeling like crap. He had worried about Yuri all night, hoping he was okay. He really wanted to know what had happened but he didn’t want to force him to tell him knowing it would do him no good in the long run. Getting dressed he called the landlord to make sure he could run over there and sign the paperwork. He had no desire to apartment hunt and he had no time. If he hoped to do well in Nationals than he needed to focus on it. He couldn’t be trying to find a place, move, bring Yuri out here and practice in such a short amount of time. Hearing that he could stop by whenever he text Yuri his plan and that he hoped he was doing okay this morning. Viktor didn’t think he was up yet since he couldn’t remember the time differences but he figured it was still early for him. Gathering everything he would need for practice he left the hotel and headed over. His goal was to have Yuri sign the lease when he came out, hopefully that plan would work but if not than once he could he would. He really wanted to share a place with Yuri, let their names be on a place of their own. Whether he stayed as they were or became a married couple wasn’t important to him, he just wanted to remain by Yuri’s side. A life without him was something he really didn’t want to imagine.

            Getting to the rink early,he had a few minutes and he knew Yuri had contacted him about the apartment. Giving him a quick call while he changed he was glad they could talk.

            “How are you feeling?”

            “Better I guess. I feel shaky.”

            “Can you talk to the doctor about it? Or wrong doctor?”

            “Wrong doctor. But I’ll be alright.”

            “Yuri. I don’t want to push the subject but if I know what happened I can help you better. I really care for you and hearing this worries me.”

            “I know you do. But Viktor, please respect my decision to not talk about it right now. We can talk more on it when I see you.”

            “Alright. Fine. I am going to text you the address and I found movers that will take my stuff out of storage and ship it out so all you have to do pack up my room please. And carefully! I don’t want you hurting yourself. I asked Yuuko if she could have someone help you and she told me she was on it. Obviously you can bring over whatever you want of yours. This place has the space for it. And it will be yours as well so it needs to make you feel at home.”

            “Okay.” Hearing Yuri’s voice sound shaky he stopped what he was doing.

            “Yuri are you alright? Please. Talk to me.”

            “I…I’m fine. I have to go. I’ll call you later.”

            Not even getting an ‘alright’ or ‘I love you’ out he heard the line go dead. Sitting on the bench he put his head in his hands. What was going on with him? He felt so defeated right now. Shaking his head he wanted this thought to leave his mind. Had this just been a ploy to get him out here? Was Yuri trying to do what he wanted from the beginning and push him away? No. No he refused to believe that. They were in love, it was true, unwavering love. He would not let his past consume him anymore.

            Trying to stand back up on the ice Viktor looked up to see Yurio standing over him and Yakov about ready to start screaming at him. Taking a quick glance at the others he saw they were watching him too. Getting back on his feet he watched as Yurio stopped him from moving.

            “What the hell is going on with you? Where is the skater that was here yesterday?”

            “Sorry. Guess my mind lost focus.”

            “Well get your shit back together and do it soon. I want to compete with you at your best, not this disaster. This is what I’d expect from the pig.”

            “Leave Yuri out of this!” Pushing Yurio back he realized what he did and skated off. “Give me five minutes Yakov. You can lecture me than.” Covering his skates he went into the hall and just leaned against the wall. What was going on with him? He just couldn’t focus today. He never got physical with anyone before. He may have just pushed Yurio but still, it wasn’t like him. Yuri was on his mind he got that but he feared his past was too. If he came out here and lost Yuri, he wouldn’t be able to handle it. Curling up to his knees he cried in his hands, he never should have come back.

            “What the hell has gotten into you? Pull yourself together!” Hearing Yurio beside him he lifted his head and stood back up.

            “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

            “Stop treating me like some child! Look! If something is going on you can tell me. Let me guess, it’s about Katsuki.”

            “I should never have come back here.”

            “Did something happen?” Noticing the change in his voice, the genuine concern about the subject Viktor shook his head and hugged his arms.

            “Yuri has never had a strong mental state but he has been doing really well. But, I don’t know, something happened back there and he had a panic attack last night. He won’t tell me about it which only worries me more. Yurio, I don’t expect you to understand how I feel but for the first time in my life I love something so much that all I want to do is be there for them, protect them, and keep them safe, and I can’t. Coming here was Yuri’s idea. I did it because he wanted to see me compete again and he knew I missed it but. If my being here is doing something to him, or something happened to him that I couldn’t stop because I was here I’ll never forgive myself.”

            “Can you hear yourself right now? We all have something we love and want to fight for but you can’t let it dictate your every move. You’d walk off the end of the earth for him and I’m happy you found someone to love that much but, Viktor. Don’t be unhealthy about this relationship.”

            Stopping, he took a breath and smiled. When did Yurio become so smart and mature? “Maybe you’re right. I don’t want to go into detail but maybe this just activated fears I’ve been having for a while, fears that have nothing to do with Yuri.” Believing Yuri’s attack had something to do with him made his parents words come back into his mind. He was incapable of love, he would always be unlovable. Leaning over, he pulled Yurio close to hug him. He was glad he had one good friend here.

            Going back to the ice he apologized to Yakov and told him he was ready to do this right. He could do this, he could get his head focused and blow nationals away. Throwing himself into practice he let the music take him and the story unfold. He only a little two over weeks to get this perfect. His competition was on top of their game and if he wanted to even get close he had to blow everyone away. Finishing the short program he moved over to Yakov to ask him a very important question about it. Asking him, he saw he looked surprised by the question.

            “Is it impossible?”

            “No you can do it…you just have not asked me about your choreography in years. Is this a joke?”

            “I am being very serious. Coach me.” Watching Yakov’s eyes go wide he was worried he was going to have a heart attack.

            Waking up to his phone ringing Viktor reached for it while he woke up and sat up.

            “Hello?”

            “Viktor?”

            “Yuri?” Rubbing his eyes he stopped to see the clock, had he passed out longer than he wanted? He was hoping for a quick power nap after practice so he could call the movers he found in Japan to pack up the storage unit so he could have it all shipped back over as soon as possible. He knew he should have set an alarm.

            “Did I wake you? I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was that late there yet. Let me call you back tomorrow.”

            “No! No, it’s fine Yuri. It’s only seven here. Need something?”

            “Oh. Well not really. I just thought you’d want to know what the doctor said.”

            “Yes! I want to know! Tell me please!!” Hearing his love start to laugh Viktor smiled over the phone. It seemed he was feeling better. Maybe the panic attack had been a big thing but it was started by something so tiny.

            “I’m flying out on Friday. If that’s good with you. I probably should have ran that past you before I booked the flight.”

            “Friday? This Friday! That’s great! I am so excited to pick you up and show you around! So your back is doing well?”

            “I can start physical therapy in the next week or so. That means I’m trusting you to help me find a doctor out there.”

            “Consider it done. Now I really have to get the apartment up to par for you. I want it basically ready for you by the time you get here.”

            “Don’t slack in practice.”

            “Yes sir!” Viktor was in such a great mood over this news. The sooner he saw Yuri the sooner he could make sure he was really alright. Yawning, he tried to hide it over the phone only to fail and hear Yuri tell him he would call him later, when he wasn’t so tired.

            “What time do you land Friday? So I know.”

            “Hmm? Oh um…..ah! I land at seven pm. Will that be good for you? I don’t mind waiting at the airport if I have to. In fact it’s all I can do since I’m not able to speak or read the language.”

            “Practice is done by six at the latest so I can get to the airport in plenty of time. Hey Yuri.”

            “Yea?”

            “I’m really excited to hear you are flying out. I can’t wait to show you our home.”

            “I’m excited to see you too. Have a nice night Viktor, love you.”

            “Love you too.” Hanging up with him he called the movers to set up a time for get everything done. He knew he would have to buy pieces for the place but at least this would get them started.

            On Wednesday, Viktor finished practiced exhausted and sore but ran over to the apartment to see how everything made the journey over. He paid a small fortune to get it overnighted but it was worth it. Yuri flew out in two days and the apartment was still bare. Though, he knew his bed and sofa were coming tomorrow. Yuri told him they had shipped it express as requested. Going through his boxes he noticed he had nothing for the kitchen anymore and ran out to get all of those things so he could cook at least breakfast for himself.

            Realizing it was already eleven at night Viktor saw he had made a lot of progress but couldn’t really move further until the rest of his things from Japan made it. Too exhausted to go back to the hotel for another night he made himself a bed out of some extra bedding supplies he had and slept on the floor. Tomorrow he would get his stuff from the hotel and check out.

            Thursday, he threw himself into practice after contacting the mail carriers that he was expecting things and knew he wouldn’t be able to sign for them but the landlord would. Excited to know he could sleep in his own bed again tonight he tried to work extra hard. He was going to win gold at Nationals and he wanted Yuri to kiss it. This was only possible because of them being together after all. Knowing that tomorrow he would be sleeping in his own bed again and with Yuri in his arms he pushed through his exhaustion and really stayed focused. Yurio seemed pleased with this idea as he barely talked down to him, this was a good progress.

            Friday, Viktor ran from practice to the airport knowing Yuri was flying in soon. He was hungry, beyond exhausted, and terrified that Yuri wouldn’t love the place but he was thrilled knowing he was going to be with him again. This was what true love felt like then. To have your heart beat a million beats a second knowing the one you love drew closer every moment. Getting to the airport early he bought something small to eat, figuring he would take Yuri out to celebrate his arrival, and sat by baggage claim. Not being able to text or call him all day had been rough. The last message he got from him was during practice when he said he was at the airport in Japan waiting to board. Seeing the board say his flight was landing he jumped up and walked around to the gate. Seeing a small vendor selling flowers he gave in his hopeless romantic side and bought a bouquet. As people started to leave the gate he stood nearby to watch for Yuri, hoping he wouldn’t be the last one off the plane. Having his eye catch something he started walking closer to the gate doors, his heart was telling him that was Yuri. As they opened he saw Yuri there, they both stopped in their tracks before Viktor ran to Yuri and put his arms around him. Keeping him close he was so happy to have him back beside him.

            “I missed you.”

            “I missed you too Viktor.”

            “Welcome to Russia.”

0o0o0o0o

 

           


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

After tears from both of them over being happy to be back with the other they grabbed Yuri’s bag and Makkachin, who was ecstatic to be back with Viktor, and they left to go home. Unlocking the door to the apartment Viktor let Yuri enter first. Letting him look around Viktor unhooked Makkachin’s leash and let him explore on his own. Taking Yuri’s coat he showed him where the closet was for them and took his hand to give him the grand tour.

            “Kitchen obviously. I know you can’t read this yet so don’t be shy to ask me what something is if you’re not used to it yet. Pots and pans are under here, table ware is in the cabinet above the sink here, spices in this cabinet. If you don’t like how I organized things we can redo it.” Looking over at Yuri he smiled and saw him smile back. He was so happy to have him near again. Showing him the living room he came to the first bedroom and how it was empty. Explaining that it was empty because he wanted to discuss if they wanted it to be an office, a spare bedroom, or a workout room he moved on. Leaving their bedroom for last he pushed open the door the rest of the way to see Makkachin already napping on the bed. At least he liked the apartment.

            “What do you think Yuri? If you don’t like the layout I can change it. I just wanted things up for when you came out. This dresser here is yours, and you have the right side of the closet, see?” Showing him the closet he pointed out the space that was given so he could hang up his clothes. Waiting for him to say if he loved it or hated it he brought their hands to his lips.

            “Yuri? Do you like it? Does it feel like it could be home for you?” Worried he did a poor job Viktor waited for any sort of response. Seeing a faint smile on his lovers lips his own dropped. “If something isn’t how you’d like it please just tell me. I want you to be comfortable here.”

            “The apartment is fine Viktor, don’t worry about it so much. How much do I owe you in rent?”

            “Rent?” Dropping their hands but keeping them together he stopped at the thought. He wasn’t planning on charging Yuri rent. This was their place.

            “Yes rent. What is my share of the bills and to stay here?”

            “Why would I charge you?”

            “Because that is what couples do they split the burden. Honestly Viktor this isn’t some new concept.”

            “Maybe not but I don’t why you would have to pay me. We wanted to live together right? I mean, do married couples split the bills?” He could see each of them paying certain bills and he knew Yuri had a credit card that he would pay but he didn’t see why he just couldn’t pay their rent and joint bills. He really didn’t want to ask Yuri for money, especially when it wasn’t needed. “How about you don’t worry about that stuff for right now and just worry about healing, alright? If I need help with something I’ll ask you.” Watching him just nod he felt Yuri let go of their hands and moved to start unpacking some of his clothes. Asking if he needed help and getting a “no thanks” he sat on the edge of the bed to pet Makkachin whose tail was wagging. Obviously someone missed him.

            Hearing his stomach growl he realized they hadn’t eaten yet. He was starving and he wanted to make sure Yuri ate too. Coming up behind him as he was hanging things up Viktor slipped his arms around his waist and kissed his neck.

            “Can I help you?”

            “I’m hungry. Do this later.”

            “What do you want to eat?”

            Seeing Yuri hang up what he was holding he looked up at Viktor with a small smile. “I don’t know, I wanted you to decide. As a welcome home and I missed you dinner. Tell me what you want and we’ll get it.”

            “Viktor, outside of last year I have never been to Russia I have no idea about the food here. After you flew back to Japan last year during the competition I ordered room service. Which was a struggle since I didn’t speak Russian.”

            Frowning, Viktor thought about what he could do. So far his plan to blow Yuri away wasn’t really working out for him. Having it hit him he knew the perfect place. “Get dressed. I know this place, it’s super romantic and has the best food. You will love it.” Leaning down to give Yuri a kiss he felt him tense under his lips. Pulling away he saw he wasn’t looking well all of a sudden. “Yuri? Are you alright? Is your back hurting you?”

            “I…I’m alright. Give me a minute.” Feeling him quickly pull away he went to follow him out of their bedroom to make sure he was really alright.

            “Yuri…” Reaching for his hand he felt how clammy it was before Yuri pulled away, it wasn’t like this a moment ago. What was going on? Watching Yuri stop in front of him he was quick to notice his breathing had quickened. “Yuri…are you having a panic attack?” He wasn’t really expecting him to answer but the words fell from his lips. Witnessing him nod Viktor wasn’t sure what to do. Where did this come from? He was fine but a moment again. Reaching for him, hoping if he put his arms around him he could make him feel safe and help him through this his body froze as he heard Yuri say, “I can’t…I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Viktor. I can’t. I don’t know what made me think I can.”

            “Can’t do what Yuri? You’re fine. Everything is fine.” Stepping closer he saw Yuri crouch down.

            “The idea of us, our future. I can’t…I can’t. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

            Feeling his heart crack Viktor felt his hand shaking as he stopped it from reaching for him. “Yuri…have I…am I causing your panic attacks?”

Why didn’t he see this sooner? The signs were there, Yuri not wanting to tell him, him shutting down when they talked about their future. This was all because of him. Yuri was like this because he was too stupid to see it sooner. Wanting to put his arms around him and apologize Viktor stood up and went into the empty room. The last thing he wanted to do was make things worse for Yuri. Curling up behind the door he cried on his knees. This wasn’t what he wanted, he wanted to make Yuri happy, not cause his mental instability. He was such a fool, his parents were right, he was unlovable; all he was good for was making things worse.

            Viktor wasn’t sure what time it was when he lifted his head and thought the apartment sounded quiet. Standing, he left the room and saw the living room and kitchen was dark. Carefully opening the bedroom door he saw Yuri on top of the bed keeping Makkachin close who was gently licking his face. Swallowing, Viktor took a small step into the room.

            “Yuri?”

            Watching as he called his name Yuri’s body twitched and he sat up as quickly as he could.

            “Viktor I.”

            Moving towards the bed he sat on the edge of it near Yuri but careful to keep his distance. “Yuri. I am so sorry. I never meant to do this to you. I don’t know what I can do to make things better for you. I wanted to make you stronger not tear you down. Did you do all of this just because you felt bad saying no? I want you to be happy Yuri. That’s all I ever wanted.” Not getting a word from the other Viktor’s eyes went wide as Yuri moved into his chest. Putting his arms around him out of habit he kept him close. When they parted a few minutes later Viktor felt Yuri’s hands touch the sides of his face.

            “I really do love you Viktor; that has never changed. I just. I get really scared when I think of my future. I wanted to tell you when it started but I couldn’t and I thought, maybe once you were here it would be easier for me to just get over but then the panic attacks started. I’ve never really thought of my future with anyone, or really saw much a future for myself. I’m really sorry Viktor I never meant to hurt you. Or to make you think I didn’t love you.”

Viktor placed his hands over his own. “Yuri, I love you too. Don’t worry too much about trying to create a future with me…”  
            “But Viktor! I know you had that dream and.”

            Cutting him off Viktor just smiled. “I have a dream yes but, that doesn’t mean I need to be settled down by a certain age or have everything figured out right now. I just need you Yuri. That’s it. I promise. I don’t want you to feel like you have to rush yourself to want certain things. You asked me to take it slow and I have every intention of fulfilling that. And if the idea of marriage or whatever frightens you and we never do it then so be it. I’ll still love you the same. Yuri, I know there is an age gap between us. While it isn’t that long it is there. I don’t expect you to have everything figured out and realized at twenty-four. God knows I didn’t at that age. In fact I was like you, the idea of any sort of future outside of skating was like a foreign idea to me. Just love me like you have been Yuri and I’ll be happy for the rest of my days.” Falling back onto the bed he felt Yuri crying on his chest again.

            Staying as they were for a while Viktor felt Yuri move off him and sit up. Being pulled up with him he was glad they were okay. He was still haunted by his parent’s words but he knew Yuri was beside him to help fight them.

            “Hey Viktor.”

            “Hmm?”

            “Do you think that restaurant you mentioned is still open? I’m starving.”

            Looking at the clock he noticed it was just a little after eleven. “It should be. Let’s go.” Seeing Yuri’s smile they stood up and changed into something a bit nicer so they could go eat. Viktor didn’t see this being the last time they talked about the future of their relationship but he was glad things were working out.

            At dinner Viktor couldn’t help but stare at his boyfriend who was amazed about the beauty of this place and as he tried to figure out what the menu was saying.

            “Move your chair closer and I’ll translate for you.”

            “No. I want to see if I can figure something out. Just don’t let me order snails.”

            Putting his head on his hand he watched with a smile on his face while he waited for Yuri to give up and ask him for his help. While he waited he ordered them a bottle of the houses best wine and a little something to hold them over while they waited to order and actually eat. By the time the waiter came back Viktor had helped Yuri decide since he was struggling to figure out anything.

            “Here you are sir. As requested.” Being poured a glass he ordered for them both and lifted his glass to Yuri.

            “To us Yuri. We started out here on a little bit bumpy road but I know only amazing things will come next.”

            “To us.” Clinking glasses, Viktor took a sip before looking at the bottle. This was good wine. And would be amazing with what they ordered.

            “You bought a bottle of wine without knowing if you liked it?”

            “I bought the best bottle of wine without knowing if I’d like it.”

            “Remind me to never ask how much money you have.”

            “I’m going to spoil you rotten. You are at my home now.” Winking, he took another sip before reaching over and lacing his fingers with Yuri’s. “I love you.”

            “I love you too Viktor.” Keeping their hands together they talked about practice and how things went after he flew out here before the waiter came back with the appetizer.  “Viktor, is that? Caviar?”

            “Welcome to Russia love.” Taking a little he was surprised by how much he missed some of these dishes. Something like caviar was known all over the world but it wasn’t the same as having it from the source. “Try it, I bet you’ll like it.” Seeing Yuri make a nervous face he thought he was being too cute. “What if I feed it to you? Hmm?”

            “Please don’t.” Knowing that nervous tone in Yuri’s voice Viktor stopped and watched the other. Maybe it was too soon for him to being dealing with this influx of loving emotion.

            “If you need something let me know Yuri.”

            “It’s not that. I…I can see where you had an issue before. The people behind us keep staring at me and it’s unnerving.”

            “Are they jealous that I get to spend my evening with you?” Being cocky he turned and waved to them before turning back and seeing Yuri’s face beat red before he started laughing.

            “Are you kidding me Viktor?”

            “What? They started it.” Having them both start laughing they let their problems melt away while they ate.

            Getting back to the apartment after showing Yuri around St. Petersburg at night they quickly changed and climbed into bed. Both were exhausted from a long day and excited to sleep with the other again. Holding Yuri close Viktor kept his body around him grateful he got to do this again. He loved the one he was with more than he had words for.

0o0o0o0o0

Back to fluff! Hope you guys enjoyed this. Nationals here we come!


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Smelling something wonderful Viktor rolled over to find he was alone in bed. Sitting up he noticed it was just a little after nine, he really slept in today. Well, at least he had nothing to do. His goal was to help Yuri unpack a bit, show him around a little and teach him some Russian so if something came up he could get around on his own. Sliding out of bed he made his way out of the bedroom to see Yuri over the stove making something delicious.

            “Morning Yuri. Hope you slept well.”

            “Good morning Viktor. I made coffee if you want.” Seeing him smile over his shoulder Viktor smiled back as he went to the coffee pot. He was going to give him a good morning kiss but decided against it for fear of morning breath. Making it as he usually took it he stopped as he was about to sit at the island.

            “Was this coffee I had in the fridge?”

            “Yea. Why is it not good?”

            “No…it’s delicious.”

            “Oh. Glad to hear it. I mean I can’t do much but I can make coffee and cook.”

            Taking another sip he was really enjoying this cup. He would have to remember to have Yuri make coffee every morning. “So, what are you making? Do you need help?”

            “I just made a normal Japanese breakfast. I don’t know anything else. Once I learn the language better I’ll get a cookbook so I can do more.”

            “You don’t have to go to all that trouble. You can always just make whatever. And believe it or not I can cook too.”

            “That is why there are how many take out containers in the fridge?” Hearing Yuri tease him he got up and draped his arms over his shoulders.

            “Only because I had such little time to make this place perfect for you. Tonight I’ll show you how good of a cook I am.”

            “I don’t mind cooking for you. In fact I insist. Since you won’t let me pay for anything and I know you have a tight schedule right now.”

            Going to say something back they both stopped as they heard something vibrate against the island counter top. Looking behind him he saw it was his cell phone from where he left it last night after they got back from dinner.

            “I was going to get you about that. That’s the third time it’s gone off in the last hour. I have no idea who it is though.”

            Letting go of Yuri he went over to see it was Yakov calling him. He told him not to expect him today since Yuri was flying in last night. Didn’t he? He was such a pain, always ruining his romantic moments with his love. Answering it, he pulled the phone away from his ear as he heard Yakov start yelling at him about where he was and why he wasn’t at the rink yet.

            “You leave for Nationals in four days!”

            “I told you I probably won’t be there today to help Yuri get settled.” Looking over at Yuri he could tell he heard his name and looked over at him with curious eyes. He felt bad he had no idea what he was saying. Soon he would though. Telling Yakov he would be there in a bit if it got him to stop yelling he hung up and sat back down.

            “Want to come to the rink with me?”

            “You were trying to skip practice so close to nationals?!”

            “Jeez, sorry Yakov.” Teasing, he happily took the breakfast placed in front of him and waited for Yuri to sit beside him. “But, really, come with me.”

            “But I still have to unpack my stuff.”

            Giving him a sad face he saw he was getting through to him. “But you’ll be stuck here all day. If you come with me I can show you how to get back here if you want. And I’m sure Yurio will be happy to see you.” Watching him sigh he saw he won that discussion. “I’m not practicing tomorrow at all so we can get you settled than and I can show you around, teach you a few things so if something ever happens and you need to get around you can.”

            “Fine, fine I’ll go already. Stop pouting.” Seeing Yuri smile at him he smiled back and went back to eating. He loved having him around again.

            Finishing up he left the dishes in the sink with the idea they could deal with that later and grabbed Yuri so they could get dressed and head out. Taking Yuri’s phone before they walked out of the apartment he typed a message into it. “This has the address of the rink and the apartment. If for some reason you get lost and need help just show someone this and they can point you in the right direction. Also if you get bored at the rink and want to explore don’t feel like you can’t. If you get lost don’t panic. Just call me and I can help you get back to wherever. Okay?”

            “Okay. But I don’t see me exploring much without you. I wouldn’t even know where I would want to go.”

            Making sure Makkachin would be good while they were out he kissed Yuri and walked out with him. Putting his arm around his shoulders as they walked to the rink he pointed out all the landmarks he could use as pointers and what they were in Russian. Hearing him try to repeat them was cute, he was going to love teaching him. Coming to the rink he had them go to the ice where Yakov started to get ready to yell at him before he stopped and saw Yuri beside him. Whispering to Yuri how to say hello he properly introduced him. He knew they both could speak English since that was how they communicated at the cup last year but Yuri needed to learn it anyway. Sitting on a bench he changed into his boots with Yuri beside him watching Yurio practice. Seeing a shadow over him a few moments later he saw it was the other.

            “Hey Katsuki.”

            “Hi Yurio. You look really good out there”

            “Yea, thanks. Viktor, glad you finally decided to show up.” Hearing him switch to Russian he figured he wanted to tell him something that he didn’t want Yuri to know. Finishing up he stretched a little before leaving the bench and hitting the ice to warm up.

            “He looks a lot better than when I saw him in Japan.” Yurio said as he skated beside him for a minute.

            “The surgery went really well. He only hurts when his meds wear off and he can move a bit more than he could before. He should start therapy next week but I figure I’ll get him an appointment once I’m back from Nationals. Since I need to translate for him.”

            “Can he speak any Russian?”

            “I don’t think so.” Feeling Yurio grab his shoulder he turned to face him.

            “You brought him here without teaching him anything?”

            “This was rushed a bit to make it here in time.” Watching Yurio mouth a “wow” he skated off to get back to practice.

            After an hour of practice and giving it his all he moved to the wall of the rink and had Yuri come over with his water.

            “This is weird. Our positions are switched. I feel like you on the wrong side of the rink Yuri.”

            “You realized that too huh? Should I try coaching you or something?” Seeing Yuri start laughing he couldn’t help but laugh back. He loved having him near and in a good mood. In the back of his mind he still worried about yesterday, about causing him to have more panic attacks but hopefully in time they would get them to stop for good. “You look really good out there. You’ve changed the programs a lot though. I wouldn’t recognize them if I didn’t already know where they started.”

            “I had to. As they were Yurio would have beat me in points hands down.”

            “Really? Going to try an arm in the air too?”

            “Maybe. Those are tricky though. Oh. Before I get back to practice there is something I wanted to bring up with you back at the house. Tomorrow once you are settled and comfortable I would love for us to talk. Deeply talk. Learning about what happened to you, about how I caused all of that made me really realize that we never really talk about what we are thinking. And really, Yuri, I’d like it if you didn’t just say yes to everything I bring up because you are scared to say no.”

            “Sure Viktor. That sounds nice.” Witnessing Yuri going to go in for a kiss but stop he leaned over to complete it. He wasn’t letting Yuri get off of the hook that easily. Pulling away he saw his face was red. Skating away he knew everyone was watching them, let them. He wasn’t going to hide the fact that he loved the other while they were here. He was going to move past his old fear.

            Coming back home for the night Viktor collapsed on the couch and dragged Yuri with him having him lay on top of him. He should be making dinner but all he wanted to do right now was cuddle and make up for the week they had been parted. Running his hand through Yuri’s hair he couldn’t believe he loved someone this much. They had gone through so much in less than a year but it was worth it all if it meant he could be with him now. And to think, it had all started over a video Yuri did for a friend.

            “I can hear your stomach growling Viktor.”

            “Shhh. Romantic moment.” Kissing the top of his head he let them stay like this bit longer before they sat up and started to work on dinner. Seeing him yawn he asked how he slept last night remembering the question was blown off this morning. Grabbing a pan, Viktor noticed Yuri went to feed Makkachin, they were so close it was cute.

            “I slept really well. I was really warm though being sandwiched between you and Makkachin.”

            “He slept beside you?”

            “Yes. I was surprised by it too but I wasn’t going to tell him no.” Laughing, he played with Makkachin a minute before he put his food dish back down.

            “I am so glad you two are close. He loves to snuggle. He is probably mad at me because I am always snuggling you.”

            “No, he loves you, he missed you a lot when we were in Japan without you.”

            That actually warmed his heart to hear that. While he didn’t want to break his dog’s heart it was nice to hear he was missed. Working on dinner he wouldn’t let Yuri do anything expect set the table. Cooking, he tried to teach him what certain things were in Russian. He wasn’t expecting him to remember any of this since his teaching at this moment was lacking but it was better than nothing.

            “So, what did Yakov talk to you about before we left today?”

            Viktor was trying not to think about that. It wasn’t bad but he didn’t want to think about it right now. Sadly, he knew ignoring it would be stupid. Come nationals he would need an answer if he did well in them.

            “Olympics are coming up.”

            “Oh yea. Next year. In where South Korea?”

            “Yea.”

            “You don’t sound happy about this. What did the Olympic team say something to you?”

            “Well, yes…but not like that. Yuri, you are aware I competed in the last Olympics right?”

            “Yea, you placed silver right?”

            “That’s not important. Yurio and I are both being sought after by the team. They weren’t sure about me because I retired to coach you but since I’m back apparently they are looking into me again. If we both do well they are going to ask.”

            “Do it!”

            Hearing Yuri’s excitement he turned his head to really look into his eyes. “I don’t know Yuri.”

            “Come on! It will probably be your last Olympics.”

            “But I want to really focus on us and practice is really time consuming. Besides, we talked about seeing the world. I can’t do that if I’m too busy with them.”

            “South Korea is still seeing the world.”

            “You really want me to do this huh?”

            “Yes! Please! Agree to it Viktor. And I think it would be good that you go if Yurio is invited too. You both could look out for each other.”

            “Alright, I’ll give it some thought. I won’t decide for sure until later.” Covering the pan he walked over and kissed Yuri. He really was something else.

            Sunday, Viktor helped Yuri unpack the rest of his things and officially get him settled in their new home. Since they didn’t have cable yet from not having the time to call and make an appointment to set it up they used the time after to cuddle on the couch. Yuri being intertwined against his body made his heart beat louder. Pulling Yuri’s phone from his fingers he slipped it behind his back. He really wanted them to talk about themselves and get personal and Yuri promised they could today once they had time. Hearing that his theory about Yuri agreeing to most things was true he frowned at him. That didn’t make him feel good at all. He didn’t want Yuri to feel he would leave him if he didn’t agree to something. At least this was something they could work on now. Being asked something he wasn’t sure how to answer. It was something he didn’t really want to think about.

            “My past? I’ve already told you it.”

            “Something is missing though. I can see it on your face when we are argue, Viktor. If you’d rather not tell me that’s fine.”

            “No. No it’s only fair since we are talking about ourselves.” Pulling Yuri closer to him he made sure not to hurt his back knowing he had to be careful. “So I told you about how I was used. Well, that, that was only a part of why I left. See. Growing up I was told.” Stopping he looked at Yuri who was watching him with such love in his eyes. He was sending such strength to him he couldn’t fathom it. “Once I starting realizing more about who I was, I was told that love was a forbidden idea for me. Not just on the idea that it would ruin my career but well, that was unlovable. All my life I was told that I wasn’t really able to be loved. My parents made it seem like such a chore to do so, until I made them a lot of money. When I was younger and I really started breaking records I tried to figure out who I was. If no one could love me than I would just love myself. Remember when I had long hair? That didn’t go over well but I felt confident and god, it was freeing almost. Then, a few years later things got really hard for me. Being convinced that I was nothing but harming to those around me; that I really was unlovable I cut my hair and tried to become someone else. I started really just focusing on myself because I didn’t want anyone to get to close to me. To the world I was this sexy playboy because I knew how to tease but I would never let anyone get close. I convinced everyone I was just growing up and maturing to an adult and that why was I changed so drastically. To Yakov and Yurio, I was just a pain in the ass. Then, I don’t know what happened. Something clicked inside of me and I started having fun with those around me. I still wouldn’t let anyone get too close to me but I was more of the person you saw when I came to Hasetsu.” Stopping, he felt Yuri shift against him before their lips met. Moving his own body he pulled Yuri closer as he kissed him back.

            “I’m sorry Viktor.” When they pulled away Yuri kept his head on Viktor’s chest and looked up at him. “I’m really sorry about yesterday. If I had told you about what was going on with me you never would have felt like it was your fault. I don’t believe them you know. Never once in all the time I’ve known you have I felt like you didn’t love me, or that you were incapable of loving me. You’re the most supportive person I know and maybe it’s because of your past that you are this way but I know I wouldn’t feel this way about anyone else. I love you and I’m glad I can love you.”

            Feeling his face become wet Viktor hugged Yuri tight as he rolled him over against the back of the couch. “Thank you Yuri.”

0o0o0o0o

So they are doing well and I think they might even be okay. But will Viktor decide to do the Olympics? Will their relationship even be able to handle the regular season with that pressure? Find out next time…or in the coming chapters anyway 

~Femalefighter~


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Leaning over the back of the couch, Viktor kissed Yuri until his eyes fluttered open.

            “Good morning Yuri.”

            “Morning…smartass.” Watching him stretch and fold himself into the back of the couch Viktor started laughing.

            “I’ve made dinner if you’re hungry.” Stepping away he went back to the stove to make sure nothing would start burning while he heard Yuri start to get off the couch.

            “I don’t get it. You are in practice all day yet I’m the one always napping.”

            Seeing him come to the island to sit he noticed he had the cutest bed head. He really was dating the most adorable man.

            “You’re still healing don’t forget. And I don’t mind you sleeping, it’s fun to watch you.” Placing a plate in front of him he waited for him to try it before he sat down. He was still learning Yuri’s taste in food and always worried with these Russian dishes. Having Yuri meet his gaze he saw the blush forming on his cheeks.

            “You’ve been watching me sleep?”

            “Well not all the time. How else would I have made dinner?” Smiling, he sat beside him once he saw everything was good. Yuri just sent him a look that screamed “smart ass.” It had become his favorite nickname for him since they moved in together.  Eating peacefully they didn’t say much and just enjoyed each other’s company. Once they had cleaned up Viktor brought Yuri back over to the couch to pull him on top of him while they went over the book he was using to try to teach Yuri the language. Viktor was proud of him, he was getting better. His conversation skills were still horrible but he could figure out a few words that were written down so that was nice. They were flying out tomorrow for Nationals and while he had no intention of leaving Yuri alone he knew it would be best if he could figure out his way around in case something happened and they got separated.

            “See this is the issue I had with English too. My mind knows I know it, I mean I recognize the lettering but I can’t remember what it actually means.” Feeling Yuri curl up against him Viktor pulled him close and kissed the top of his head.

            “You’ll get there. You haven’t even been in the country a week. You got the important stuff down. Hello, good-bye, where is the. It’s not perfect but it is something.”

            “Just promise you won’t leave me alone wherever we are going.”

            “Yuri. I have no desire to ever leave your side.” Lifting his chin he gave him another kiss before they tried again.

            Meeting everyone at the airport Viktor was grateful Yakov and Yurio were speaking English most of the time so Yuri wouldn’t feel so excluded. He never brought it up but he could read it on his face. Swapping Yuri for the window seat he heard Yurio try to help with the language a bit. For a boy that hated the other he sure was being friendly towards the other. He was really curious about what changed. Watching the view of the window he was really excited to be going back to Nationals. He would have to remember to really thank Yuri for pushing him to do this. Last year he thought for sure he was ready to retire but it seemed he was just tired of the same old thing.

            At the hotel they got settled before they had to head over to the rink for practice. He was really exhausted but knew if he tried to skip Yakov would just drag him there anyway.

            “Are you feeling alright Viktor?” Hearing Yuri’s voice he rolled over to face him on the bed.

            “Hmm?”

            “You’ve been quiet all day. And you look tired. Are you feeling alright?”

            “I’m good. After practice I plan to sleep until I have to be at the rink tomorrow.”

            “I’m sorry.” At Yuri’s apology he sat up.

            “Why are you apologizing? It’s not like you’ve kept me up.”

            “Well no. But, you’ve been working really hard at practice and then you come home and try to teach me and you cook, because for some reason you seem to never let me. Outside of you sleeping at night I don’t see you resting. It’s unlike you.”

            Carefully pulling Yuri towards him he fell back on the mattress. “Don’t worry so much about it. This is what I do.”

            “Don’t make my mistake Viktor. That’s all I ask.”

            “I’ll be good I promise.” Kissing his head he shut his eyes until he heard his phone going off. That was probably Yakov telling him to get his ass to the rink.

            Waking up for the first day of competition Viktor was glad to see he was in group two. Attending the morning practice he went back to the hotel and fell back asleep for a few hours before he had to be back. He knew he wasn’t getting sick since he felt fine, these had just been a busy couple of weeks. Grabbing Yuri they headed back to the rink so he could change and get ready for the group two warm up.

            “I really like this outfit Viktor.” Fixing his collar he did a quick spin for Yuri. He knew he had seen this outfit before but that didn’t mean he couldn’t show it off again. Having them leave the locker room together he kept his arm around Yuri’s shoulders while they watched Yurio who was getting ready to take to the ice. They both knew he was the one to beat at this competition and everyone was excited to see who would come out on top. As Yurio’s program finished they cheered for him before Viktor handed Yuri his blade covers and his warm up jacket before taking to the ice.

            “My parents wanted me to wish you luck.”

            “Are they watching this from there? I didn’t think you’d be able to.”

            “Minako has a way to I believe. But either way I know my parents are rooting for you. Nervous?”

            Smirking, he gripped the wall and stretched a bit. “Am I being that obvious? I think I am more nervous about the idea that I haven’t competed in a year than I am about messing up the program.” Feeling Yuri touch his hand he looked up at him and smiled before he laced their fingers. “I’m really glad you are here for this. This is the first time since I’ve started that I have someone besides Yakov supporting me.” Hearing his name he let go of Yuri and the wall and skated to greet the crowd. Deep down he knew his nerves would turn into excitement as soon as the music started. Getting into position he gave his cue and let the story unfold for the world.

            Out of breathe he bowed to everyone and headed off the rink to meet with Yakov and Yuri. That had gone well. No mistakes that he was aware, though he had tuned everything off as soon as he got going so he could have probably fallen and be unaware of it. Taking his things from Yuri he gave him a tight hug before the three of them walked over to the kiss and cry.

            “Yakov, that went well right?” Taking water from him he took a deep breath as he sat down.

            “You still need to work more on your step sequence. It went well though. And you got lucky with adding the additional quad in the second half. It was clear your stamina wasn’t ready for it.”

            Taking a drink he tried to think back to his program and his planned quads. He knew his stamina level wasn’t as high as Yuri’s and he planned his jumps accordingly. Did he add one last minute? He was trying to one up Yurio so it was possible.

            “You turned your last triple toe loop in a quad.” At Yuri’s words he must have realized he really didn’t know what Yakov was talking about. “It went well but yea, it was easy to see you hadn’t really planned for it.”

            The three of them sat there with their mouths open in surprise. They weren’t surprised by the over a hundred score since Viktor was known for that, but they were in awe knowing he was in second place, Yurio only beating him but a point. Already deciding that he was going back to the hotel to sleep and order room service he was going to make sure he was well rested for tomorrow. If Yurio ended up getting gold he was fine with that but he was going to make sure he gave him a good run for his money. Once changed into sweats he ordered dinner for the two of them and crashed into bed.

            “Wake me when it arrives so I can eat.”

            “Sure thing Viktor.” Hearing Yuri try to stay super quiet he shut his eyes and dozed off for a bit. Knowing he could sleep until he had to be back at the rink tomorrow he passed out fairly quickly until Yuri woke him up to eat.

            The next morning Viktor felt ten times better. Being able to sleep in and take things easy was a nice bonus for him. He knew he had to be at the top of his game today if he wanted to win the gold from Yurio. Heading over with everyone he warmed up and got himself ready. As he waited though he noticed Yuri was being too quiet today.

            “Nervous for me?” Putting his arm around him he stopped warming up for a moment.

            “What? No. Trying to let you focus.” Feeling Yuri give him a small kiss he figured that only happened because they were alone. He noticed earlier though Yuri was being awfully quite as well. He had been interviewed once they arrived about today and since Yakov was with Yurio he kept Yuri with him. Not that he really expected him to talk during it but he could tell his mind was elsewhere.

            “I already told Yakov that once we get back I’m taking just a couple days off to relax before I jump into more practice.”

            “That will be good. You need it.”     

            “Are you calling me old Yuri?” Smirking, he watched him freak out over the assumption. He was glad to see that despite everything and all the changes that took place between them Yuri was still Yuri.

            Seeing he was up next Yurio wished him luck before Yuri gave him a tight hug.

            “You’ve got this. We both know this. I know it doesn’t mean much but I’m sending you all the positive strength and vibes you need to complete this program with the highest score you can.”    

            “Send me your stamina. Yakov and I rearranged my quads again.” Seeing the surprise on Yuri’s face he pulled him close for a quick kiss.

            “Consider it done Viktor. Go show them that your time with me didn’t affect the fact that you are a five time champion.” With the conviction in Yuri’s eyes that he could do this he waited for his cue and took to the ice. This was what he was waiting for. He was going to show the world a side of himself he had never shown them before. Meeting Yuri’s gaze he kissed his ring and gave his cue. He hoped his parents were watching, he wanted to prove to them they had always been wrong about him.

            “His music is Stand by You.”

            Giving his final position he could feel his lungs burning. In practice he knew he struggled with adding more quads to the second half but from the adrenaline competition gave him he knew he felt it more right now. Gathering enough energy to bow to the crowd, who he could hear was cheering for him louder than he remembered, he skated towards the edge of the rink, grabbing a stuffed animal on his way since it was in his path. Getting to Yuri he threw his arms around him and tried to catch his breath. He had a lot to practice if he planned to continue that setup up throughout the season.

            “That was beautiful Viktor. I knew you could do it. Though why don’t you sit because you feel ready to pass out.” Moving away from Yuri he watched Yakov, ready to have him start to complain about something. He knew his first quad of the second half wasn’t perfect, at least it didn’t feel perfect when he landed. Getting nothing from him he was shocked but he would accept it. Sitting at the kiss and cry he put his arm around Yuri and waited nervously for the results. Yakov had told him he had to skip this one since he had to be with Yurio who was up next. He wasn’t offended by it at all, and he had Yuri with him so it wasn’t like he was alone.

            “I haven’t been this nervous to see my score since I started competing.”

            “You did really well Viktor. I don’t think you’ll beat a record but you’ll easily end this with over three-hundred.”

            It seemed to take forever to hear the results while he hugged Yuri with one arm and the stuffed animal with the other.

            “Holy crap!” Covering his mouth remembering he was on TV, he couldn’t believe he beat his old record by a solid fifteen points. Nearly dying to pull off this program was worth it for a score like this. Feeling Yuri hug him he pulled him close and buried his face in his shoulder.

            Waiting to be allowed back on the ice to showcase the winners with their medals he felt Yuri squeeze his hand. Bringing them to his lips he smiled down on his boyfriend happy he was able to not only share this moment with him but know it only happened because he was with someone as amazing as Yuri.

            “Hey Viktor, I’ve been thinking.” Facing Yuri better to hear what he was thinking Viktor kissed their hands again, he was so happy with life right now. “Let’s spend the rest of our lives together.” Before he could say anything the crew told them they could enter the ice. Greeting the crowd his mind wasn’t on them at all but on the prospect that Yuri just proposed to him. Was he just misreading him? He had read up enough on Japanese tradition to know it was possible, indirect ways of asking were something that happened back then. Coming back to this moment though he smiled wide and did what he had to. He was happy knowing he won the gold, he wanted to give Yurio a reason to keep pushing himself. He was young, he had his entire senior career to place first.

            Going back to the hotel to shower and change before dinner with everyone Viktor stopped Yuri from sitting on the bed as he held his hands.

            “What did you mean back there? Before the medal ceremony.”

            “Well…I just…I’ve given it a lot of thought and I think. No I know, knowing that you weren’t rushing me into something made me more comfortable with the whole idea of well…you and I really spending our lives together.”

            “Yuri…”Pulling him close for a kiss he poured his heart out to him through it. He honestly never expected Yuri to be the one to propose to him.

When they separated he heard Yuri ask, “so how about it Viktor? Will you marry me?”

With tears threatening to leave his eyes he smiled and kissed Yuri again, “Yes.”

0o0o0o0o

            THEY ARE OFFICALLY ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so proud of the babies for being and staying so beautiful. Not done with them yet. I still want a wedding.

~Femalefighter~


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            “Smile Yuri.” Holding out his phone trying to get a selfie of them before they headed to dinner they both couldn’t stop smiling and laughing. Finally taking one they liked, Viktor added a quick description and some tags before clicking the post button and grabbing Yuri’s hand. “Can’t keep the others waiting they will get mad. Plus, I’m starving.”

            “You are always hungry. God, I wish I had your metabolism. I eat as much as you and I gain fifty pounds.”

            “In my defense I worked my butt off on the ice today. And I don’t know, I still think I’d find you super sexy with fifty pounds added to you.”

            “Remember when you met me? That was roughly fifty. I highly doubt you found me attractive.” Turning off the hotel lights they left the room to meet the others in the lobby. They knew before Viktor won gold and Yurio won silver that they were doing dinner after to celebrate Nationals but it was nice being able to celebrate a victory too. Going to say something in his defense about always being attracted to him they both got quiet as the elevator opened. Squeezing in, Viktor kept Yuri close until they could get off. Pulling Yuri along he didn’t let him go until they were with the others.

            “Viktor, what was with that?” At Yuri’s question he smiled for an apology.

            “Forgive me. I just wasn’t comfortable in there.”     

            “O…okay…well it was really tight. We could have waited for the next one.”

            “It doesn’t matter now we are here, let’s eat.”

            Getting to the restaurant they all settled down and ordered. He knew Yuri didn’t want to but it was party, and got him to drink with the rest of them that were of the legal age. He did promise him he wouldn’t go crazy or let him drink too much though.

            “Woah! Really Viktor?” Hearing his name Viktor looked up at Yurio who was across from him. He was holding his phone out towards him showing the picture Viktor had posted just before in the room. “You two got engaged?” Looking over at Yuri who started gagging on his wine he carefully rubbed his back.

            “Well that secret didn’t last. Huh Viktor?” At Yuri’s comment he became confused.

            “I didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret.” Shrugging his shoulders he believed he was innocent in this. An engagement wasn’t something that was usually hidden. He always thought it was a good thing and you told everyone about. Maybe for Yuri the custom was different? Feeling him shift in his chair he saw him answer his phone. He wasn’t sure who it was but it seemed important as he excused himself from the table for a moment. Debating if he should go follow and make sure everything was alright he noticed he didn’t go too far from everyone. He must have just moved so there was less noise. He thought he heard him answer in Japanese so it was probably someone from back home. Looking back at the table thinking he heard his name he noticed Yakov, Lilia, and the rest of his rink mates were staring at him. What did he keep missing?

            “So it’s official then? You two are going to marry?” Nodding at Yakov’s question he knew he wasn’t happy about this. Marriage usually meant lack of focus on the ice.

            “Eventually yes. Nothing has been planned or decided. But I figure after this season we will get married. I have found the best thing in my life, I don’t plan to lose it.” Leaving it at that they said nothing more on the subject. Noticing Yuri walk back slipping his phone into his pocket he asked if everything was okay.

            “You got me in so much trouble Viktor, I hope you are satisfied.”

            “What? How?” Worried he really messed up he felt his stomach tighten.

            “That was my mother. She can’t believe I didn’t tell her about our engagement and that she had to find out through Minako.”

            “Wait, what? I didn’t even know Minako followed me on Instagram.”

            “She follows me and you tagged me in the photo with the caption, ‘I said yes! What did you expect to happen?”

            “I am really sorry Yuri. I didn’t mean to start trouble for your family. I love them so much. I just wanted to share my happiness for the moment. Do you want me to call them and talk to them?” Seeing Yuri start to laugh and smile he couldn’t believe how convincing he was just now.

            “I’m teasing Viktor. She is thrilled. Told me I wasn’t allowed to get married without her being there though.”

            Feeling relived everything was alright Viktor took a giant exhale and a large drink from his wine glass. The last thing he would ever want to do was hurt Yuri’s family. They were amazing from day one and he could never repay them for that.

            Coming back to the room for the night Viktor changed into comfortable clothes and brought Yuri into the bed with him. Kissing his ringed hand he found himself getting lost in his fiancées eyes.

            “Are you sure about this Yuri? I don’t mind waiting until you are ready.”

            “I am ready Viktor. I was scared because I thought you wanted to get married by a certain age and if I said I wasn’t ready for that you would leave me. Honestly, it was just my anxiety getting the best of me.”

            “I’m hurt you would think that of me. It seems no matter how long I know you, you still think a certain way of me. Still, marriage isn’t something to rush into. I only want to do it once.”

            “I promise Viktor, I am not going to have second thoughts on this.”

            “Okay, well, either way. I’d like a long engagement.”

            “Really? Aren’t most engagements here only a couple of months?”

            “Yes. But, Yuri let’s think about this for a second. A few months is when competition really starts picking up. I don’t have it in me to plan a wedding, practice, and make sure your back is okay, plus as I suspected the Olympic team contacted Yakov before dinner. You yelled at me yesterday for looking exhausted, that would be nothing compared to what it would be.”

            “Okay. I don’t mind a longer engagement anyway. And don’t worry about my back. I can deal with that while you prepare for Worlds.”

            “Tell me that after you become fluent in Russian.” Yawning, he kissed Yuri’s forehead. “I love you Yuri. I don’t think I said that to you today. In all the excitement I never got the chance.”

            “I love you too Viktor.” At Yuri’s lips on his own he kept him close while he slept for the night. He wanted to marry Yuri in the worst way, he would do it tomorrow if he could. But, he really wanted to make sure Yuri was ready for it and he wanted to make it beautiful for him. Nothing would really change between them, they didn’t have to worry about having a kid or anything but he didn’t want Yuri to wake up one day and regret rushing into something.

            Standing off to the side Viktor translated for Yuri who was starting physical therapy today. While he took his two days off and did nothing but lay in bed he called one of the best places in town for Yuri to go to. Since he wasn’t on a big time crunch he could move his practice times around with Yakov so he could attend these sessions with Yuri. Watching Yuri resting during the last ten minutes he could tell he was exhausted. That was the most physical activity he had since before the injury occurred. Well, after this they were going home and he could rest all he wanted. Moving closer to the other as he sat up he quickly put his arms around him watching him stumble as he stood.

            “Yuri are you alright?” Not getting an answer right away he just felt Yuri grip his body tighter.

            “My legs have pins going through them and my lower back really hurts.” Standing with him for a few minutes they both became worried when it wasn’t going away for him.

            “Here, I’ll carry you on my back and get you home so we can call your doctor. Or I can just take you to the ER.”

            “I am not five Viktor.”

            “Fine. I’ll carry you in my arms then. Yuri, you are holding on to me for dear life.”

            “Turn around and bend down.” Hearing the embarrassment and the defeat in his voice Viktor made sure Yuri was safe on his back before moving. There was a hospital not far from here they could go to. It might be easier than trying to contact the surgeon since they were dealing with a time difference. Feeling Yuri tighten his arms around his chest he looked over his shoulder making sure he was okay as he walked down the street.

            “Do I have to stop Yuri? Is this hurting your back?”

            “No…I’m alright.” Hearing his voice crack he could tell it was because he was crying even without feeing his face move into his back. “I don’t want to go in for more surgery. What if I messed up?”

            “I’m sure it’s nothing Yuri. Just something simple that a good massage can fix.” Trying to stay optimistic for him he knew Yuri’s biggest fear was that he would be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Stopping as the back of his shirt was getting wetter he put Yuri down and hugged him tightly. They didn’t have to say anything for him to be there for him.

            Squeezing Yuri’s hand at the hospital both breathed a little easier hearing it was a pinched nerve in his lower spine. Translating for Yuri that the doctor here figured it happened after surgery he could tell he was blaming himself for being too careless. Kissing his temple he was just glad it was nothing too serious. He would love Yuri even if he was wheelchair bound or not but he wouldn’t be able to handle watching Yuri become depressed by it.

            “See, I told you. Doctor says some rest, heat, taking it easy and you’ll be good as new. When you go back to the therapist I have to let him know and he can adjust accordingly so this doesn’t repeat for you.”

            “Okay.”

            At the emotionless tone Yuri used Viktor sat on the edge of the hospital bed and ran his fingers through his hair. It was getting a bit long.

            “I’m sorry I keep causing you all this trouble Viktor. I feel like that’s all I’ve done lately.”

            “Ssshhh. You have done nothing of the sort. Let’s get you home alright? I’ll get us a taxi so I don’t have to carry you again, even though I swear you enjoyed it.” Seeing Yuri give a light smirk he kissed him again and helped gather his things so they could head home.

            Coming back from practice he walked into their bedroom to see Yuri asleep with a heating pad on his back and Makkachin asleep beside him. Changing, he didn’t bother waking him but snuck in the gap between Yuri and his dog to hold his fiancée close and shut his eyes for a bit. He wasn’t really tired but he wasn’t going to pass up the chance to snuggle with the person he loved.

            Knowing Yuri was at home, or at the very least walking around the area with Makkachin, Viktor took the full advantage of practice. He wasn’t sure what came over him but he was enjoying being on the ice and working his butt off to build up the strength needed to complete his programs with the difficult skill level. He didn’t have to focus on a completion until the four continents but that didn’t mean he could slack off. Both Yurio and Christophe were after the gold medal in their competitions and when it would come down to the Grand Prix at the end of the year. Christophe already sent him a text that he needed to be ready for him. It was fun to be back though, the fun rivalry between everyone got his blood pumping. Knowing he was just about done for the day he met with Yakov to go over a few things and see how it was looking. He really wanted to prove to him that his engagement to Yuri didn’t mean things would necessary change for him. Though, he had decided that if he competed with the Olympic team once it was over he was announcing his retirement. He had yet to tell Yuri this but there wasn’t that big of rush to do so yet. Living with, and waking up beside Yuri he realized he was ready to call it quits. As much as he loved the sport he wanted to really focus on his relationship and their future together. There was something else he wanted to talk to Yuri about, he didn’t want to marry here in Russia; he was hoping they could do it back in Hasetsu. Again, he figured it was something he could bring up when they really started planning everything.

            Coming in to Makkachin sitting behind the door waiting for him and Yuri at the stove he said hello to both before he changed and got comfortable.

            “How was your day love? Do anything exciting?” Coming up behind him he wrapped his arms around his waist to kiss his cheek.

            “Not really. Makkachin and I went for a little walk. We watched the water for a bit and then came back here. Practice go well?”

            “It was fine. Yurio keeps trying to challenge me which I refuse to do because I don’t want to beat him too badly.” Smirking against Yuri’s neck he breathed him in. He wasn’t sure what he was putting on his body but it was intoxicating. Feeling Yuri move his neck away after a minute he got the hint to move so he did. Going to set the table for them he stopped seeing the open book on the counter. “Are you using this?”

            “The cookbook that is open in front of you? Yes. Why?”

            “You can read this?”

            “For the most part. A few things I had to translate for myself but, well, smell this. I think it’s going well.”

            “I am so proud. You’ve come a long way Yuri. Soon you won’t need me at all.” Pretending to sniffle he kissed his cheek before going back to his original task.

            “I’ll always need you Viktor. Who else am I going to ask to grab the things on the top shelves? But, since I’m here all day I figured it was a great time to try and really focus on the language.” Hearing Yuri tease him he just laughed and finished up. God, he loved him.

            Climbing into bed for the night Viktor stayed on his side of the bed petting Makkachin who was starting to rest on his lap, while Yuri was on the phone. He knew right away it was someone back in Japan from the language he was using. Mouthing to tell whoever it was he said hello he waited until he hung up to bring him close.

            “My mother says hello. She wanted to know how I was doing, if therapy was going well. You know, mom questions.” Feeling Yuri tense up at his last statement he kissed his temple to reassure him that everything was fine.

            “Do you ever get homesick Yuri? If you do tell me.”

            “Not really. It was rough at first with the language barrier but at the same time I’m used to not being there. I spent five years in Detroit so this really isn’t anything new for me. But, I do want to try to visit my parents more than I did back then. I don’t want year gaps between each visit.”

            “We can do that. I promise.”

            Viktor stepped into the rink to stop seeing everyone around the rink and in a large circle on the ice. Curious what was going on he ran forward as he recognized them.

            “Yuri!”

            Relax Viktor, god, look he is fine.” Being stopped from entering by Yurio he wanted to push him away. Who agreed to this? “He isn’t doing anything dangerous. He stopped by earlier looking for you and we got to talking. But look, no one is going to let anything happen to him.” Taking a closer look he could see everyone giving Yuri enough space to move but they were close enough that if he lost balance they would have him before he hit the ice. He wasn’t really doing anything dangerous, just simple basic steps for front crossovers. He wasn’t even skating just crossing his legs in a line.

            “He told me, about what could happen if he wasn’t careful but keeping him locked up in the apartment won’t do him any good either.”

            “I’ve never stopped him from going out.” Still, he knew Yuri hated not being active anymore. He brought up the fact that he was putting on weight quite often.

            “Let him skate every so often.” Hitting the ice he went to Yuri to give him a note about his footing.

            Watching him out there, he saw how happy he truly was. Had his fear of Yuri getting hurt blinded him from what he truly wanted?

            After practice, they sat on a bench by the water and looked out over it. It was still chilly but they were happy to just sit here.

            “Viktor, are you really pissed at me for earlier? You’ve barely spoken to me. If you are I’m sorry. I should have brought it up with you before just hitting the ice.”

            “No. I’m the one that is sorry. You aren’t a doll and I know you aren’t stupid. You know what you can and cannot handle. But, why didn’t you tell me you wanted to go back on the ice that badly? I would have helped you.”

            “I have. I have told you a few times that I missed it. But, I also know you have a lot going on so I didn’t want to push anything. I asked my physical therapist about it the other day and he said so long as I was careful I could do it. Nothing crazy because if I fell I would have issues but I could do the basic things.”

            Thinking back he tried to recall Yuri telling him about missing the ice. Slouching, he realized he must have said it a bunch since he moved here.

            “Next time I want to go, will you come with me Viktor? If you are still up to coaching me that is?” Lifting his head he saw Yuri wasn’t angry with him, wasn’t upset with how shitty a person he was. Bringing his arms around Yuri he hugged him close.

            “I’d love that Yuri. I’d love that a lot.”

0o0o0

 


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Rolling over in bed Viktor felt a hand move across his forehead as he lifted the covers higher on his body. Opening his eyes just a bit he saw someone sitting on the edge of bed watching him. Going to sit up he felt his body be pushed back down.

            “Stay in bed Viktor, you’re running a really bad fever.”

            “Practice though.”

            “Forget it. You’re covered in sweat, you’re hot, you keep shaking. You step foot on that ice and you’ll kill yourself. Please don’t make me a widow before we are married.”

            “You called me hot.” Laughing at his own joke he thought he saw Yuri roll his eyes at him. “World Championships is coming up though.”

            “I’m telling you no Viktor. And besides you still have a couple weeks before it. Take a day or two and rest. You can practice later.”

            “You’re really cute Yuri you know that, when you’re angry.”

            “I’m not angry. Now shush and go back to bed. Look Makkachin is worried about you, he hasn’t left your side since you started shaking last night when you went to bed after practice.”

            Looking over at his faithful companion he called him over to give him a big hug. He was the best friend a boy could have. “Yuri keeps yelling at me boy. You’ll protect me right?”

            “Oh my god!”

            Waking up later Viktor sat up shaking. Grabbing all the covers on the bed he wrapped them around himself hoping they would warm him up. He hated when he got sick. It wasn’t all that often but when he did it hit him hard. Why was it so cold in here? Was the heat broken? Did Yuri turn it off knowing it was the middle of March? It had been semi warm the other day, maybe he forgot to turn it back on. Russian weather was strange, he remembered it fluctuated constantly before spring came when he was growing up. Throwing his legs over the bed he sat there coughing for a few minutes trying to clear his lungs before he went to check the heat. God he felt awful. Since he was up he should make tea for himself. That usually helped keep him warm.

            Coming out of the bedroom he shuffled over to the thermoset and raised it a bit more hoping it would take the chill out of the air. Before he even took two steps away from the wall he heard his name and Yuri come running over.    

            “What are you doing out of bed? And…are you wrapped in every blanket from the bed?” Feeling Yuri run his hand over his forehead he heard him say, “God Viktor you’re burning up.”

            “It’s cold. I don’t see how you can be wearing…shorts and a thin tee. And I can’t have a fever being this cold.”

            “Viktor, I’ve already raised the temperature in here twenty degrees. It was eighty just before, because you are always telling me you are freezing. You know you are really scaring me. That’s it, I am taking you to the doctors. Obviously whatever medicine you’ve taken over the counter isn’t working.”

            “Yuri.” Reaching to stop him and tell him he didn’t need a doctor he stopped to cover his mouth and cough. Feeling Yuri pull him over to the couch he couldn’t help but lay his head on his legs once he was able.

            “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sick before.”

            “I don’t get sick very often. When did you start speaking Russian?”

            “You…you’re joking right? Viktor. I asked you to speak it in the house for weeks now so I could pick it up better. Lift your head up I’m grabbing my phone.” Feeling Yuri lift his head up he watched him leave the couch and move to the island counter. Laying back across the couch again he felt his eyes close. Being taken care of and worried over was so strange to him. For as long as he could remember he took care of himself, even when he was a child he didn’t remember his mother being as comforting as Yuri was.

            “Hey…Viktor.” Opening his eyes he saw he was still on the couch, Yuri was sitting in front of him with worry in his eyes. “I got you a doctor’s appointment, and a taxi is going to be here in a few minutes.” Feeling Yuri tug at the blankets he let him take them away. It was still so cold though. Being handed his favorite black down jacket he slipped it on and felt Yuri help him with his shoes.

            “You’re too good to me Yuri.” Seeing him smile up at him he was helped up and towards the door. “Wait. Makkachin.”

            “He is fine. I’ve been here long enough to know. Focus on yourself for right now. If you fall you are probably taking me with you.”

            Leaving the apartment they made it downstairs and didn’t have to wait that long for the taxi to arrive. Starting another coughing fit he started to feel really tired again, stupid cold.

            Opening his eyes he heard strange noises and felt a hand griping his own. Turning his head he saw Yuri sitting beside him, watching him.

            “Yuri? How did I get here?” Looking around he could tell he clearly wasn’t home, and he wasn’t in the doctor’s office.

            “The doctor didn’t like the one hundred and three fever you arrived with, or the chills, or that fact that you were so clammy your shirt was sticking to you. He said that once your fever breaks you can go home. You have the flu.”

            “I’m sorry you have to take care of me, and if I worried you.”

            Watching Yuri just shake his head he saw him smile a bit. “I’m glad I can for once. Since we’ve been together it’s always been the other way around. And, I’m glad you don’t have to be alone. You have been nothing but stubborn every time I tried but, well, I figure you aren’t used to it.”

            “That obvious huh?” Starting to cough again he saw Yuri hand him water, the IV’s in his hand weren’t making it easy though. Taking a drink he handed the cup back and rested his head against the pillow. Meeting Yuri’s gaze he reached for his cheek. “I love you Yuri. Thank you.”

            “Love you too.”

            Feeling his eyes close he fell back asleep.

            Waking up to strange noises he saw he was alone with the nurse who was checking his IV bags and his temperature as he felt the thermometer move across his forehead. He still felt like crap, he knew it wouldn’t be quick once he arrived here but he was hoping something would feel better. His head was pounding, he kept coughing up his lungs; the only good thing was he wasn’t freezing anymore. Now he was just hot and felt the sweat pouring from him. As he shut his eyes he thought he heard her make a comment about getting him better soon, something about who he was.

            Sitting up, Viktor tried to eat what they brought him only to really not want any of it. Hospital food didn’t even look appealing. He wanted to go home and have Yuri’s cooking. Wishing his fever would break already so he could go home he forced what he was given down his throat. Seeing Yuri come into his room he smiled at him happy for the company.

            “You still look terrible.”

            “Thanks Yuri. Love you too.”

            “Sorry. That was mean.”

            Offering Yuri the food he really didn’t want he saw him just turn it down. Well, he tried.

            “I want to go home. I miss my bed and you.”

            “I miss you too but you need to have your fever break. You really worried me back home. You were so out of it.”

            “I’m sorry. I never meant to.”

            “I know you didn’t. You asked me when I started speaking Russian, I think that’s what really worried me.”

            “Did I? I’m sorry.” Touching Yuri’s cheek he tried to reassure him that he was going to be fine now and he wasn’t delusional anymore. He couldn’t wait until he felt better so he could kiss him again. He felt so unattractive with his fever and being covered in sweat he didn’t even want him close.

            Walking in the front door he took a nice deep breath before he bent down to say hello to Makkachin who was excited to see him. Knowing he was still sick he didn’t do much knowing Yuri wanted him resting. Plus, his fever broke last night he didn’t want to push it. Heading to his room he saw the sheets had been washed and the bed was made. He felt bad messing it up as he went under the covers to rest for a bit. He was so happy to be home finally. He wasn’t upset that Yuri forced him to the doctors or that he had spent two days in the hospital but he was glad he could finally curl up in bed and recover the rest of the way here. Bouncing as Makkachin jumped up beside him on the bed he lifted his arm up so he could cuddle with him while he kept his face buried in his pillow.

            Smelling food he rolled over and saw Yuri coming into their room holding a tray for him. Sitting up he took it from him noticing it was comfort food.

            “This smells amazing. I mean I can’t smell much but I can kind of smell it and I like it. Though, stop acting like a housewife to me. I can do this.” Half teasing, he felt bad that Yuri seemed to be waiting on him hand and foot, he wasn’t used to this kind of treatment at all.

            “I’m not acting like a housewife. I just want to help you feel better.” He heard Yuri mumble. Kissing Yuri’s cheek Viktor smiled at his love. “I’m glad to see you feeling better. You teasing me is something I missed more than I thought I did.” Taking a moment to enjoy the other, Viktor turned to the dinner he was brought feeling his stomach excited to eat this.

            Tying his shoes Viktor made sure he had everything he would need for practice today. It was his first day back since he got sick, he missed a week of practice thanks to the flu. He would have to work really hard to get himself back up to speed. Feeling Yuri drape his arms over his body he sat up on the couch to lean back and kiss him.

            “Want to come with me today?”

            “You need to focus so I’ll do other things. We need groceries.”

            “Okay. Well, if you change your mind you know where to find me.” Moving towards the edge of the couch he felt Yuri let him go until he stood and went towards the door. Feeling a hand slip in his own he stopped and turned to face the other.

            “Viktor. Be honest with me. Is this becoming too much for you?”

            “What are you talking about Yuri?” Squeezing their hands he tried to meet the others gaze. His heart was hoping he wasn’t asking what he thought he was asking.

            “Is the strain from practice becoming too much for you? You took a year off to work with me and then you came back full forth with the prospects of the Olympics. I don’t want you to keep doing this for me if you are killing yourself in the process. Nothing means that much to me if it hurts you.”

            Taking a breath he was relieved it wasn’t what he was thinking and lifted Yuri’s chin to lean down and kiss those perfect, loving lips.

            “Thank you for worrying about me but I promise you my getting sick had nothing to do with this. It’s simply from the weather. But, if you are that worried about me if I feel it’s getting to be too much I’ll stop. I don’t want you to lose sleep worrying over me.” Seeing Yuri nod and smile Viktor kissed him again, pulling him closer as he did. “I love you Yuri and thanks for caring about me.”

            “I love you too. And Viktor, remember you’re not alone anymore.”

            God, he was with the best person in the world. Never had he been with someone that cared so much about him. The general love and concern Yuri held for him was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. With one more kiss he headed off to practice reassuring Yuri he wouldn’t push himself too hard and he had his medication on him.

            After telling everyone he was feeling better and glad to be back Viktor jumped into warming up and practice. He knew he wasn’t at one hundred perfect yet but he needed to get back into the swing of things or else his programs at the World Championships would suffer. Knowing he would be going against his friends he didn’t want to give them an easy win. Whoever walked away with gold was going to have to really earn it.

0o0o0

I don’t really like filler chapters but this popped into my mind yesterday and I had to write it for them. I need to focus on school for the next two days and I need to collect my thoughts on moving forward with this story. I figure the next few chapters will be the final chapters but there will be a sequel if I don’t just make this one giant story.  I’d actually like thoughts on this idea and what people would prefer.

~Femalefighter~

                                                                                                                                                                                                                       


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Today was a big day and Viktor was excited. Tonight was date night. He had promised Yuri that after practice today they would spend the night out, some shopping, good food, maybe a movie if there was something Yuri wanted to see. He felt bad that they couldn’t go out on more dates since Yuri flew out here. They attempted at least once a week but some weeks that never happened. At least they snuggled on the couch each night so it wasn’t like he was neglecting the other. It was just that with the world championships coming up this weekend he was so swapped with practice they didn’t have time for much else. But, he promised him last week that tonight was happening and he wasn’t going to break that promise no matter what. Yuri deserved that much, he put up with his practice schedule and how some days he would come home, shove food down his throat, and pass out on the couch with Yuri on him. Yuri was going to meet him here after practice and then they were off for the night. He also planned to really show him Helsinki when they were at World’s, it would be fun.

            Checking his phone during his break he text Yuri to see what he was up to and to let him know he was still really excited for tonight. It was going to be so amazing and romantic and he was excited he wished he could just end practice so they could be together already. Seeing Yurio come over he put his phone down so they could talk about a few things about this weekend.

            Fixing his hair, Viktor approved of himself in the locker room mirror after he had showered. He was ready to meet with Yuri and get this night going. Coming out he saw Yukov just down the hall, going to say good night to him he heard him call to him.

            “Need something?” He had a few minutes to talk, Yuri probably wasn’t here yet.

            “Vitya, I ask you to reconsider.”

            “Not this again. Yakov. You know I look up to you, I consider you like a father to me but please stop with this.”

            “I am not saying I don’t want you to find love, I am happy for you but think about this.”

            “I have.  I have no desire to stay here once I finish up. I haven’t told him this yet but that is my plan. I just want us to live a peaceful, quiet life together. For once I know what I am doing.”

            “Be careful Vitya. Getting these letters doesn’t sit well with me.”

            “I appreciate you helping us live peacefully. It really means a lot.”

            “Just remember my words.”

            “I will, and we will be fine. Keeping him safe has always been my top priority.” Giving Yakov a hug he let him go and turned to wait for Yuri in the lobby. Seeing him as he turned his face turned into a wide smile.

            “Yuri! Ready to go?”

            “Go by yourself.”

            “Yuri?” Confused by what happened he saw him turn and leave the arena. What just happened? Running after him he grabbed his arm to stop him on the street. “Hey. Talk to me. What did I do?

            “Viktor. Tell me. What am I to you?”

            “What?”         

            “What. Am I. To. You?” Hearing him pause after each word he could hear he was pissed at him. But, he really didn’t know what he did. They were fine earlier.

            “You’re my best friend, the love of my life. Yuri I don’t get what is going on.”

            “If I really am what you say than why don’t you act like it?” Hearing him grow angrier Viktor just became more worried and more confused. Why was Yuri questioning their relationship? He hadn’t done anything to bring this up. Had someone gone to him and told him lies? “What is going on? What won’t you tell me? What are you protecting me from?”

            “You heard that conversation?”

            “Do you forget I can understand every word you say?”

            “It’s nothing bad I promise. Yakov and I were talking about,”

            “You are the worst liar don’t give me that shit! This is what I am getting at. You don’t tell me anything important. Stop treating me like I’m just here! I am not a child, I am your fiancée for Christ sake treat me like an equal partner!”

            “What is wrong with trying to keep you safe?”

            “Safe from what Viktor? If I was ever in danger I have a right to know! If you aren’t going to treat me more like a partner and less of your object to hang off your arm than I need to really reconsider us!” Watching Yuri step away from him and break contact Viktor stepped closer to him. “I need some space.” Having him turn and walk towards the crowd Viktor went after him. He wanted them to talk about this. Losing him in the people shopping and coming home work he stopped and felt his heart breaking. What did he do?

            Coming into their apartment he saw it was empty minus Makkachin who lifted his head off the couch as he heard the door open. Throwing himself on the open seat he cried his heart out, how could he mess up this badly? He never thought it was that big of a deal to keep certain secrets from Yuri, they were important but he had a lot going on at first so he thought it was better this way. He was still at physical therapy, he was still trying to adjust to a life so different from what he knew. Thinking back he tried to see if his view of their relationship was really that far from what he thought it was. Maybe what he thought was loving was more obsessive? Was he super controlling? Did he treat Yuri more like an object and less like a romantic partner?

            Looking up at the clock he realized it had been a few hours and Yuri wasn’t back yet. He was getting worried. He had text him about coming home so they could talk and he was ignored and when he called it went straight to voicemail. He knew he messed up and Yuri was pissed off with him but how could he fix this if they couldn’t talk? Getting off the couch he went into the kitchen to get something to drink. Opening the cabinet he reached for a cup to stop as he saw a wine glass on the next shelf, did he have a bottle of wine here? Grabbing the wine glass he went to fridge and saw the unopened bottle resting on the door. He wasn’t usually an emotional drinker but right now he needed something a little better than water. Going back to the living room he sat in front of the couch and put the glass and bottle in front of him. Petting Makkachin’s head he really wished Yuri would come home, or text him back. Even if he wasn’t coming home tonight he wanted to know he was okay. Reminding himself that all couples fight he tried to keep his chin up and believe they would be okay.

            Hearing the front door open Viktor was on his feet in a second to see Yuri coming in. It was almost midnight he had been gone for hours.

            “You came home.”

            “It’s not like I have another place to go.” Hearing he was still angry Viktor just dropped his head.

            “Yuri I.”

            “Just stop Viktor. I don’t want to right now.”

            “I want to fix us Yuri and I can’t if you won’t talk to me.”

            “An ‘I’m sorry’ won’t just let things be all better Viktor. Life doesn’t work like that.”

            “I know that. I’m not stupid.”

            “And I am?”

            “I never said that.” Realizing Yuri was going to stay defensive he dropped his head and moved away. If he wanted space he would give it to him. They couldn’t fix themselves like this. “Let me just change for the night and you can have the bedroom. I’ll stay out here.” Watching Yuri just move towards the couch he turned to head to the bedroom before he heard Yuri say something.

            “You’ve been drinking?”

            Turning back around he realized he left the wine bottle and glass on the coffee table. Though, the bottle was still basically full, he only had one full glass and half of his second. Meeting Yuri’s gaze he really hoped this didn’t cause more fighting.

            “Just a little. Did you while you were out?”

            “No, I was at a bar but I didn’t touch what I ordered.”       

            “Oh.”

            “Do you do this a lot? Drink when you are upset?”

            “Not usually.”

            “Oh.”

            Moving closer to Yuri he could hear the turmoil in his voice. Was he blaming himself for the fact that he had even wanted a drink? Wine was a common thing for him he felt like. He didn’t drink every night but he enjoyed a glass every so often. Seeing Yuri sit on the end of couch he sat on the other side. Maybe they could actually talk for a bit.

            “Does this upset you Yuri?”

            “You’re an adult you can do as you please.”

            “That doesn’t sound like what you thinking.”

            “How would you know?”

            And they were back to the snapping tones, great. So much for talking peacefully.

            “I know because I know you. Or, at least I am trying to. I know I’ve been a terrible partner and honestly, I know you deserve better than me. I’ve really been thinking about my treatment of you. I was so blind by the idea that we were in this relationship that I didn’t see how protective I am of you. At first I told myself it was because you were hurt and I didn’t want you to overdo it. But, then, I don’t know, it got the best of me.”

            “What aren’t you telling me Viktor? This isn’t the first time you’ve kept things from me. I know I’m just tired of trying to decipher everything. I know I went off the handle before and I should have answered your messages. I just needed some space to breath.”

            “Am I suffocating you?”

            “Answer me first.”

            Biting his lip he tried to think of the best place to start. “This goes way back to when we came to Russia for you. I learned that Yakov was getting letters for me that weren’t all that great. I knew people would be upset that I just left for Japan and to coach you but some fans got a little carried away. He didn’t tell me right away because it wasn’t anything that needed much attention. I was wanted by a lot of people, people that didn’t know me. It happens, so he didn’t worry about it and I didn’t worry about it. Then, well, he had this feeling he should look into it more. A letter addressed to me didn’t sit right with him so he read it, and it was bad. Really, really bad. So when we met up in Russia he told me about it before I came back to Japan. I think it was part of the reason he agreed to be your coach for the day, so you wouldn’t be alone. Especially since you didn’t speak Russian and had nothing really to do with this.”

            “You got hate mail because of me?” Watching Yuri’s confused face Viktor nodded. Hate mail was an understatement. “And you knew then that people hated me because they knew we were together yet you didn’t tell me.”           

            “I wanted you to focus on the competition. I knew that if I told you you would worry about that and lose focus. And we didn’t see anything happening but we were aware of the situation at hand. Believe it or not Yuri but Yakov looks out for me. He has been there for me since I started skating. He knew then how important you were to me even if he wasn’t all that excited about it.”

            “About you being with me or the idea that you were in a relationship?”

            “Me being in a relationship. He is divorced and has a very one sided view on relationships and careers.” Smiling a bit he noticed Yuri was still in his mind but it seemed he wasn’t debating their relationship after learning about others feelings towards them as a whole. “After we went back to Japan it wasn’t that big of a deal again. I never really figured I would come back here and the mail never followed us to Hasetsu. After you got hurt I got a few messages that I wasn’t all that crazy about but I was focused on you so I ignored them. And then we came back here.”

            “And then we got engaged.”

            “I don’t regret the decision to go public about it. In fact I still love the selfie of us I have on my phone from the hotel room after Nationals. But, yes. Whether it was the same people or different ones they started trying to go after you. I read all the fan mail the rink gets for me and while most of it is really amazing and supportive I’ve read a few that make my stomach churn.”

            “How badly do they want me dead?”

            “Please don’t make me repeat it.”

            “Why continue to hide it from me though? If people really wanted to see me hurt or out of the picture I have a right to know. And the fact that you got Yakov to stay silent about it doesn’t help me feel better about any of this.”

            “I really hoped it would just stop. But, I think I ended up doing more harm than good. Subconsciously I was too overprotective of you and damaged us. You deserved to know what was going on and I’m truly sorry I hide this from you for so long. I don’t want you to think that I don’t cherish you or that I don’t think of you as an equal. I love you, I love you so much I was blinded by what I was doing to you. You have never been just an object to me. And Yuri, from the bottom of my heart I am sorry you ever felt like that.”

            “You mean that? I don’t expect everything to be better by morning but you swear you will try to be more open with me. You will talk to me more about things that are happening around us?”

            “Yes. And if you ever feel like I’m not sticking to that please tell me. I don’t want you to feel like this ever again. I know relationships take a lot of time and commitment and I want you to know I am committed to you, to us.”

            “That means a lot Viktor. Thank you.”

            “Of course Yuri. I truly love and care about you and I want to make sure you are happy in this relationship. Earlier I felt like maybe I threw myself on you and forced you into things that you didn’t want or were comfortable with. I promise to be a better man for you.”

            Having Yuri scoot closer he opened his arms for him if he wanted to enter them. Before they got close though he saw Yuri stop and once again meet his eyes.

            “One more thing. When were you going to tell me you didn’t want to stay in Russia?”

            Dropping his arms he placed them on his lap. “I was going to bring it up with you when we started to plan the wedding. I wanted to tell you that I hoped we could marry there and then discuss possibly staying there after. I swear I wasn’t hiding this from you I just thought it seemed silly to bring it up now when we weren’t planning anything.”

            “You want to marry in Hasetsu? Can I ask why?”

            “Your family and friends are there. It’s where we really got to know each other. It holds a special place in my heart. Being back here I realized I consider Hasetsu more of a home than I do Russia. Plus, I don’t think we can legally marry here.” He must have done something right as Yuri moved closer and rested his head against him.

            Staying as they were for some time he heard Yuri’s soft breathing, noticing he had fallen asleep he gently moved him and brought him to bed. Taking a moment to tuck him in he went to get comfortable before he went to his side of the bed. Keeping his distance for tonight he was just happy Yuri was home and they had talked things through. They had a lot to work on in their relationship but they could do it. He loved Yuri enough to make it work.

            Waking up to the house phone ringing, Viktor felt Yuri snuggled into his back with his arms around him. His heart beat faster knowing they were going to be okay. Careful not to wake him he snuck out of bed to answer the phone. Not that he cared who was on the other line he just wanted it to stop ringing. Answering it to hear Yakov ask where he was and why he always insisted of trying to get out of practice days before a competition he realized how late it was. Apologizing and telling him he would be there soon he hung up and went to change. He didn’t go to bed until after two since he was up talking to Yuri so it was no surprise he didn’t wake up at seven like he had been doing. Coming out of the bathroom from brushing his teeth he saw Yuri sitting up in bed rubbing his eyes.

            “Morning Yuri.”

            “Morning. What time is it?”

            “Just after ten. Yakov called to yell at me about practice. So I’m heading there now.”

            “I figured. Tell him I’m sorry for keeping you up last night.”

            “I’m not, I was glad we talked.”

            “…me too.”

            “So, I still owe you date night…if you’re interested.”

            “That sounds nice.”

            Walking over to the bed he leaned down too kiss Yuri, nervous about how well it would go. Having it accepted he let him know he was grateful they were working on each other.

            “See you tonight then.”

            “Love you Viktor.”

            “Love you too.”

            Apologizing again to Yakov he explained what happened and watch him shake his head, though he said he was glad things were alright. Trying to make up for the time he lost he got right down to practice, they were flying out tomorrow afternoon. This wasn’t the time to slack off. He had been doing this long enough to know that.

            Coming to the apartment he saw Yuri wasn’t here. Hoping he didn’t forget about tonight he called him only for it to go to voicemail. Worried, he left a message to call him back as soon as he got this. Changing, he threw his shirt down as he heard Yuri’s ringtone.

            “Yuri?”

            “Is everything alright? You sounded panicked.”

            “Where are you?”

            “Just leaving physical therapy. Why?”

            Having it click he realized he forgot Yuri had that today. He was doing really well but he had to go for about five months or so. He should have read the calendar before he freaked out.

            “You forgot didn’t you?”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “My god…well I’ll be there in a few. Was that it?”

            “Yea, I’m sorry. I,”

            “We can talk when I get home.”

            Hanging up with Yuri he figured he was upset with him for over reacting. Finishing getting dressed he put the TV on as he heard Yuri come home.

            “I’m really sorry I panicked.”

            “You need to read things before you worry. I mean, I know you are forgetful but I’ve been doing this for weeks.” Still, he felt Yuri kiss his cheek before he went into the bedroom to change. “I’ll be ready to go in a minute.”

            Heading to dinner they decided on a new place that opened up on the other side of the city. It was supposed to be a five star restaurant and perfect for a much overdue date. Sitting across from each other they talked about their day, their plans for tomorrow and this weekend and about them as a whole. Neither wanted their relationship to end and were willing to really work on themselves.  Viktor had to remember that all couples fought and it wasn’t the end of the world when they did. They had to move through their problems but if it was meant to be like they believed than everything would work out. Enjoying the meal they walked around the city taking in what was around them. Keeping Yuri’s hand in his own they stood on a bridge that overlooked the water. It was funny, back when he was in Japan the water and seagulls reminded him of here, now it reminded him of Hasetsu.

            “I don’t know if they will be available when we go but I know there are some nice houses just a little inland from the water back home.”

            “Oh?” At Yuri’s comment he looked over at him curious but excited.

            “If we really decide to stay I mean. Apartments aren’t like here at all. Minako lives in a complex but it’s nothing like we have here. A house, even a small one would probably be better for us. Makkachin would like it better too.”

            “We can look into it. And as things stand right now neither of us will have to run to find work once I officially retire. So we can focus on us and settling down a bit before we plan our next move.”

            “About that. Well me not so much you. So, I was talking to my physical therapist today. He was asking me how I was handling the ice and I told him pretty well.”

            “Yuri. Please don’t tell me you are seriously considering it. I get you miss it but it’s dangerous.”

            “I don’t know yet. I’m still not cleared for anything too advanced but. Well, you have this mass fortune saved up, I don’t.  I don’t want to live off of your money forever, I like earning my own. The only problem with that is I don’t have anything I can do. I mean, sure I went to college and I graduated with a degree in finance but I’ll go crazy stuck in an office all day.”

            Staying silent Viktor looked back over the water, they had a lot to discuss once this season was over. If he did the Olympics he wanted them to really talk about their future before they were over. He wanted to support Yuri in everything he did but he didn’t want him to risk his safety anymore.

            Realizing it was getting late they headed home for the night knowing they had a flight to catch tomorrow. Getting into bed, Viktor brought Yuri close and kept him in his arms all night. No matter what they did for their future he just wanted to stay with Yuri. That was what these past couple of days told him. He wanted to be the best man he could be for him and would do what he could for him.

Oo0o0o0o0o

            So I added so much angst to this chapter forgive me but I love working on their dynamic of a relationship. Both are so naïve it’s easy to see the weak points. I figure I’ll end this at 25 chapters unless I get to where I want to go sooner. Just a heads up. You all keep blowing me away and breaking my old story records. Love everyone from the bottom of my heart.

~Femalefighter~


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Putting his hand around Yuri’s shoulders Viktor led them out of the terminal in Helsinki. He had taken many flights before and that was the worst one he had ever been on. Yuri was pale and rattled as well, the turbulence had been rough throughout the entire flight. Normally they slept, held hands and enjoyed the view but this time he watched him twitch and try not to flinch every ten seconds. They held hands though so that was something. Grabbing their luggage, and Makkachin, who was thrilled to be off that plane as well, he kept Yuri close as they met up with the others, who looked just as shaken, and headed to the hotel.

            Stepping into the hotel lobby they all took a nice inhale ready to relax. Hearing someone call Yuri’s name Viktor saw Phichit run over.

            “Yuri! You are here! I am so glad to see you are looking well. Oh! And congratulations to you both.”

            “Thank you. Yuri, I’m going to check us in alright?” Letting those two catch up he left Yuri with their bags and headed over to the main desk with Makkachin. He wanted to relax a bit and knew Yuri wanted to as well, he talked about it as soon as they left the airport. Finishing up he headed back to Yuri to see Christophe had joined their little group.

            “Christophe, I’d appreciate it if you would get your hand off my fiancée’s ass.” Coming up beside him he saw Yuri jump and Chris start laughing.

            “I was just saying how good he was looking. Much better than back in Japan. I would never dare to do anything so vulgar.”

            “Yea, yea if you say so. Though he does look amazing I’ll give you that.” Putting his arm back around Yuri’s shoulders he felt him lean into him. “Want to head to the room?” Feeling him nod he traded with Yuri to take Makkachin’s leash while he grabbed their things and told everyone they would see them later. Heading to the elevators Yuri brought up that they were invited to dinner with Phichit and the others tonight.

            “If you are up to going, Yuri, I’m all for it. It will be nice to catch up with them.”

            “I want to go. I just wasn’t sure about your plans for today. I know you talked about us doing things while we were here.”

            “I figured we could use today to relax. I end practice early enough tomorrow so we can explore then. I’ve never been here either so we can explore together.” Coming to the room he let Yuri enter first and watched as Makkachin jumped on the bed ready to sleep once his leash was off. That really didn’t sound like a bad idea. Dropping their stuff in the corner he put his arm around Yuri and pushed him down into the bed only to be scolded about not being careful and watching out for his glasses that were still on his face. Once settled, they cuddled close to each other. Feeling Makkachin move to lay over their legs he felt it was his way of saying he was glad everything was working out between them. Viktor didn’t believe for a second that everything was perfect and wonderful between them but they were working on it. He was truly trying to be a better man, one less clingy, and borderline obsessive with Yuri. Giving and receiving love wasn’t something he was used to and he hated to think about that fact that some might think Yuri was almost an experiment to see if he could even handle it. Though, they were currently engaged and that never changed even after their fight so maybe he was doing something right. Maybe he wasn’t as horrible of a person as he thought he was. Feeling Yuri turn and move deeper into his arms he kept him close while they shut their eyes for a bit.

            Waking up first, Viktor sat up and felt Makkachin move to be cuddled, someone wanted his attention as well it seemed. Doing as he was asked he watched Yuri sleep, he was looking better that was good. The color had come back into his face from earlier. Finding it hard not to, his free hand reached over to caress his cheek. Watching Yuri’s cheek move into his hand both had matching smiles. Witnessing Yuri open his eyes a moment later he watched him mouth something to him before he sat up and grabbed his glasses that were beside him on the bed.

            “Feeling better?”

            “Much. I’ve never gotten so nauseous on a flight before.”

            “Hopefully we have a better flight home.” Opening his arms for Yuri to cuddle into they stayed together for a bit before they realized the time. Getting out of bed they changed into something a little nicer and found out where everyone was meeting.

            Getting to the restaurant, they were the last ones there but it seemed by not that much, just a couple of minutes. Realizing Phichit had saved them a seat beside him they sat down and jumped into the conversations. Yuri and Phichit seemed content to catch up with each other. He wasn’t really paying attention to their conversation but he heard something about their wedding and heard Yuri tell Phichit about his attendance to it.

            “Glad things have gone pretty well for you.” Looking up from his menu he realized Christophe had switched seats with his coach so they could sit next to each other and chat.

            “Seems like forever ago since Hasetsu. Hard to believe it was only a few months ago.”

            “Surgery seemed to work nicely.” Watching him nod towards Yuri, who was completely oblivious to the fact that they were talking about him, they continued their conversation. “He still has physical therapy but he is doing really well. Even the incision scar has gotten to the point where you have to really search for it.”

            “He got really lucky.”

            “I know. I’m grateful. He didn’t deserve anymore hardships.”

            “I hope he hasn’t kept you too distracted though, I don’t want to beat you because you slacked off.” Seeing Christophe’s smirk Viktor just shook his head.

            “Oh trust me. I’m at my peak. You will be lucky to even place in the top three.” Joking around with each other everyone seemed to be having a good time. It was rare that they all joined for a meal like this. Normally a couple people might but never a group this size. Worlds’ held a lot of weight for them and their future but you wouldn’t think that with the way they acted towards each other.  

            After spending over two hours at the restaurant everyone decided to head out. With his arm back around Yuri’s shoulders they all headed back to the hotel and continued their conversations.

            “Yuri, up for a night walk? I am going to take Makkachin out for a bit.”

            “I can do it. You should rest for tomorrow.”

            “It’s not that late. Just stay here I’ll be back in a minute.” Giving him a solid kiss he heard Christophe whistle behind him and felt Yuri’s cheeks warm up. One day public affection wouldn’t bother Yuri, but he was going to enjoy having it do so while he could. Going upstairs he grabbed Makkachin and headed back down before Yuri started to think he got lost. Together the three of them headed back out for a few minutes. Viktor needed to burn off some of the food he ate. It was really good and he stuffed himself.

            “I’m surprised you actually brought Makkachin with us.”

            “Why? I’ve always done that. Right. You wouldn’t know that.” Realizing this was only the second competition Yuri joined him on he grabbed his hand while they walked.

            “In Japan you left him with my parents.”

            “In Japan I had your parents to watch him. I don’t like putting him in a kennel. He is my best friend I don’t want him to be alone in a place he doesn’t know. I had no choice at Nationals. I didn’t have time to book with pet accommodations.”

            “You two really are inseparable.”

            “It’s just been us until I met you.” Shaking his head he tried to make a thought escape his mind. He must not have been fast enough as Yuri asked him what was wrong. “It’s nothing.”

            “Viktor, I can see it on your face.” Being stopped by their joined hands he had no choice but to meet Yuri’s gaze. “Is something wrong?”

            “No, everything is good. I’d rather not talk about it.” Going to step away he heard Yuri huff and their hands separate. Right, he promised Yuri he would try to keep less secrets between them. “I promise you it’s nothing serious.”

            “Whatever Viktor.” Realizing Yuri was going to keep his distance now they didn’t say anything to each other. This really wasn’t the outcome he was going for. Heading towards the water they stopped and looked out. No matter what was going on or where they were in the world the water was the one thing that always seemed to bring them peace.

            “I’m sorry Yuri.”

            “I’m really tired of all the secrets, Viktor. I feel like you never tell me anything anymore, good, bad, or in between.”

            He didn’t have to be a genius to know that if he didn’t change he would end up losing Yuri one day. Hearing Makkachin bark at the birds both of them looked at him and laughed. Despite them having issues someone was excited. Viktor wished he could be carefree like his dog some days.

            “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. It’s just something I don’t like thinking about.” Saying it in a low voice while he looked over at Makkachin he took Yuri’s hand and brought the three of them over to a nearby bench to sit. Feeling Yuri squeeze their joined hands he looked over at his fiancée and gave a small gentle smile.

            “So there is something going on then.”

            “Nothing like you’re thinking. I just…I have had Makkachin since he was a puppy, I was a young teenager when I got him, at most sixteen. I’m now twenty-eight. Who knows how much longer I’ll have him for…”Stopping, he didn’t say anything else as he felt himself starting to get choked up. He really didn’t like thinking about this. At Yuri’s touch he was pulled closer and heard him apologize for pushing the subject.

            “You can hardly tell he isn’t young, he has so much energy.”

            Laughing at the truth, Viktor put his arm around Yuri while he tried to get Makkachin to sit between and leave the birds alone. “You know what was running through my mind when I ran back to Japan when he was sick? That he never truly understood what it meant to me to have someone so excited to see me walk through the door. I hated leaving you in the middle of a major competition but I don’t think I would have,”

            “I get it. You don’t have to explain yourself to me Viktor, I understand completely. I was in Detroit when Vicc-chan passed. It was why I couldn’t let you stay.” Looking at each other with an understanding that went beyond words Viktor felt Yuri lean in to kiss him. “Besides, what kind of boyfriend would I have been if I had kept you away from your best friend?” Joking he rested his head on Viktor’s shoulder to look over the water. Placing his head on top of Yuri’s they stayed like this until they started feeling cold.

            Getting back to the room for the night Viktor jumped in the shower knowing he wanted to sleep in tomorrow and he felt gritty from being so close to the sea water. Stepping out into the bedroom after he dried off a bit and changed, he saw Yuri passed out in their bed with Makkachin in his spot. With a small whistle he had him move.

            “Thanks for keeping it warm but I would like to cuddle my fiancée.” Realizing he was saying that word more and more he smiled as he got into bed once Makkachin moved towards their feet. Pulling Yuri closer he felt him shift against his body to get comfortable. God, did he love him. He would do anything not to lose him, he would get himself to open up his mind more so long as it meant they could be happy.

            Going over his routine a few times he met back with Yakov to make sure everything was looking good. He had to be perfect to come out on top. With his notes in place he went over it once more to lock it into his body and mind for tomorrow. Finishing up for the day he headed back to the hotel to change and grab Yuri so they could hit the town. He was ready for this and had been looking forward to it all day. Throwing on something that would get him in basically anywhere they left the hotel with Makkachin and went exploring.

            Not really sure what they would even be looking for they just window shopped for a bit until they heard their stomachs start to growl. Finding a small café that had outdoor seating Yuri went inside to grab them something while Viktor grabbed a seat for them. Waving to Yuri he took the plastic cup and the bottle of water and set it up for Makkachin before he dug into his own food. He wasn’t completely sure what he was eating but it was really good. Hearing what they thought was their names both stopped their nice conversation to see two girls gingerly walk over to their table.

            “We really hate to interrupt you but you’re Viktor Nikiforov, and Yuri Katsuki right?”

            “Yes. Can we help you somehow?” Watching their faces light up Viktor figured they must be fans. Looking over at Yuri he noticed he had dropped his head a bit, was someone shy? He had been out of the limelight for a while now though so he guessed he could understand.

            “We just wanted to say Viktor we are so glad you have come back this season. We saw your National programs online and were blown away by the changes. And Yuri.” Seeing the girls look over at him he noticed he lifted his chin and tried to keep eye contact with them. “We really hope you can come back next season. we loved seeing you at the grand prix final. But, either way we are glad to hear you are doing better. Learning of your injury we were devastated and worried for you. Well we don’t want to intrude any further. Good luck tomorrow Viktor.” Thanking them and waving at them with a smile on his face he saw Yuri looked happy too. And was he blushing?

            “The one was really cute.”

            “Viktor! God you can be so inappropriate sometimes.”

            “I’m joking, besides I’ve heard my current partner gets rather jealous when others approach me.” Teasing, he saw Yuri give him the evil eye and go back to eating.

            “I really hate you sometimes you know that.”

            Pouting, he gave his lover the best sad eyes he could muster until they both started laughing.

            “Hey Viktor, do you think we could come back here?” After eating they did some serious shopping and got some nice souvenirs, though if the shop didn’t allow dogs in onr would wait outside while the other browsed. Seeing Yuri looking into one of the shop windows he saw his gaze fixed on something inside.

            “Sure. See something you like?”

            “I…maybe.” At that Yuri took his hand and they walked silently through the streets. Feeling Makkachin getting tired they headed back to the room for a break before they had to carry him and their shopping bags. Viktor knew he could carry him, his just didn’t have the hands for it.

            Seeing the full moon in the sky Viktor took Yuri’s hand and led him back outside to enjoy the night air and the romantic light the moon gave them.

            “Viktor, I know we have been in a bit of a rough patch but, well, I want you to know I still love you and I feel like I’ll always love you.” At Yuri’s soft words they stopped walking where they were. Unsure what to say Viktor kissed their joined hands. “We have been through a lot haven’t we? I feel like nothing has been easy for us since you came to coach me so why would our relationship be any different? But, well, these past few days I’ve really been thinking about us and I know I don’t want to lose you.”

            “Yuri…” His heart was beating a mile a minute, half scared Yuri was going to say something heartbreaking and the other was being taken over with love for the other.

            “What I am trying to say Viktor is well, I am happy I get have the chance to grow old with you. No matter what I decide for my future just knowing I have you beside me makes me really happy.” Pulling him close, Viktor felt his eyes flooding with tears. Yuri probably had no idea how happy those words made him. This didn’t mean he was going to start slacking off on his goal to be a better man but to know the love of his life still wanted him was an incredible feeling.

            “I love you Yuri Katsuki. I love you so much.” Burying his face in his lovers shoulder he never wanted to let him go.

            “I love you too Viktor. And… I can’t wait until we are married.” Knowing he was crying harder he wanted Yuri to know that while he was horrible with saying the right words back his heart was soaring with love and adoration for the other. He was never going to make him regret his decision to get married.

            Staying close to the other they went to the shop Yuri found earlier. Viktor knew he wasn’t really being dragged along as he wanted to be here but he found it cute as Yuri stayed just a bit ahead to go to what he saw before. Staring up at shelf he read this poem on a canvas. It was beautiful really.

            “I was thinking, for the wall in the living room. Either next to where the TV hangs or beside where we hang our keys.”

            “I love it. Let people see it as soon as they enter our home.”

_Let me not to the marriage of true minds_

_Admit impediments. Love is not love_

_Which alters when it alteration finds,_

_Or bends with the remover to remove._

_O no! it is an ever-fixed mark_

_That looks on tempests and is never shaken;_

_It is the star to every wand'ring bark,_

_Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken._

_Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks_

_Within his bending sickle's compass come;_

_Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,_

_But bears it out even to the edge of doom._

_If this be error and upon me prov'd,_

_I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd._

Bouncing in his skates, Viktor stood off to the side knowing he was up next. He was keeping Yuri’s hand locked into his own for strength and support. He was second to last and for the first time in a long time he was nervous. He was going after Yurio and Christophe and saw two beautiful, amazing programs. Going to the ice once he was allowed he spoke with Yakov for a moment who reminded him to just stay focused for once. Looking over at Yuri he saw he was smiling at him as a way of sending strength and encouragement to him.

“Think of those girls we met yesterday. They want to see the Viktor I know, the one I’ve admired since I was child. We both know you can do this. You are the only one that can. Oh! Do me a favor and turn around.”

“What?”

“Just do it!”

Doing as he was told he faced the ice, did Yuri want to show him something? Feeling his hands come around to his chest his mouth opened. “Seduce me with all you have. If your performance can charm me, you can enthrall the entire audience. That’s what you used to tell me all the time right?” At Yuri’s whispered words he nodded not turning around. They really had changed roles. “Tell the world our story Viktor.” With that he hit the ice hearing his name and greeted the crowd.

Trying to breath he bowed to the crowd and moved to head to the kiss and cry. He was proud to say he thought that went well and he didn’t feel as exhausted as he did at Nationals. All that endurance training had really paid off. Hugging Yakov he felt him shake him off, some things never changed it seemed. Hugging Yuri instead he was content to hold him until he got his score. No broken record but he had bragging rights with Christophe and was going to once again make Yurio work hard to try for gold.

Since Yuri was treating him to dinner for placing first in the short program he thanked him by not breaking the bank. He had to remind himself he had the free program tomorrow and couldn’t be weighed down by heavy foods. Once back in the room he jumped on the bed and pulled Yuri towards him.

“You are in a better mood now. Not so nervous anymore?”

“Nah. I’ve got you supporting me. Nerves are a thing of the past.”

“Then I expect you to bring home the gold and a spot on the Russian Olympic team.”

“Is that it? I don’t know. That doesn’t sound all that worth it for me. Hmmmm.” Playing around he felt Yuri turn on his lap to sit across his legs.

“How about this. You win gold tomorrow and when we get back home we pick a date to get married?” Hearing Yuri laugh a bit as he buried his face into his shoulder Viktor figured his own face was lit up and his eyes were glassy with excitement.

“Really?!”

Looking down at Yuri who turned his cheek he saw him nod. “Really. It can be once things calm down for the season like we talked about but we can talk about a date.”

“You are something else you know that?” Shifting a bit he got the covers passed their legs allowing them to cuddle under them and he left little kisses on Yuri’s cheek and neck.

“Are you leaving me hickeys, Viktor?” Not answering his question he let Yuri continue to twitch and giggle.

Coming back from taking Makkachin outside Viktor saw Yuri going through his suitcase. Just standing near the bathroom he watched him. Makkachin jumped on the bed to sniff everything being pulled out. Clearing his throat he noticed that didn’t do anything to grab the others attention. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for. It wasn’t like he packed anything special. Wrapping his arms around Yuri’s waist he let them snake up his chest.

“Can I help you find something?” Moving back as Yuri pulled away he saw him open the closet door and pull his scarf out.

“Finally!”

“You tore through my bags looking for my scarf?” Confused, he sat on the bed and scratched Makkachin’s head. “Are you getting sick Yuri?”

“No. I’m trying to hide the fact that you went to town on my neck last night.”

“Oh it’s not that bad. So you have a hickey. I think it’s cute.” Watching Yuri roll his eyes at him he saw him come closer to the bed.

“This isn’t a hickey. Look at my neck! I look like a vampire had a feeding frenzy on me.” Showing him his neck he saw he left quite a few last night. “None of my packed clothes cover any of it. And I am not leaving the room looking like this.”

“I don’t know what the big deal is but I won’t force you to do anything, it’s not like we did anything last night. But, I think it’s cute you are going to wear my clothes.”

“Please shut up Viktor.” Having fun teasing his younger love he stood up and helped get it perfect around him.

“Do you wish we had sex last night?” Knowing he was playing with fire now he couldn’t help himself. He was in a really playful mood this morning.

“Don’t you have to be at practice or something?” Being swatted away and receiving the evil eye he realized he did have to be at practice. Saying good-bye he ran out of the room and across the street to the rink.

Finishing up his warm up he saw Yuri entering from under the stands, he seemed worried. Was he really concerned about others seeing his neck? Thinking about it, he realized this probably was the first time he had anything like this to worry about. Maybe he had gone a little overboard last night. Exiting the ice he came up beside Yakov with Yurio right behind him. Talking for a few minutes about everything they walked under the stands to rest up before they were up.

“Yuri. Hey. So I wanted to apologize about earlier. I got carried away.”

“Don’t worry about it Viktor. Focus on your program.”

“Still going to be cheering for me?”

“Always.” Being reassured with his wide smile he felt better knowing Yuri wasn’t completely pissed with him. Though, he still hoped they could talk about everything a bit more. It didn’t take long or any conversation to take place for him to fully understand why Yuri was so worried. He had always worried about what others thought or said. He remembered Yuri telling back after they had gone to the cup of China he had gotten a little wasted and stripped. Phichit had taken a photo of him all over Yuri and it wasn’t the photo that embarrassed him, it was the idea that others would think they were fooling around instead of taking the competition seriously. Back then a lot of pressure was being carried on Yuri’s shoulders, and he was the cause of most of it. Sadly it took him this long to realize that. And while the world knew they were engaged Yuri didn’t want them to get ideas about what they did or didn’t do in their hotel room. He wanted the world to know that while they loved and cared for each other they still knew they had a job to do.

Entering the rink, Viktor felt more confident today than he did yesterday. Maybe because he always had a strong connection to this piece and that it continued to grow with each obstacle they faced as a couple. Stealing a kiss from Yuri for luck he listened to Yakov’s words before hitting his mark. He could do this.

Falling to his knees he tried to catch his breath. Deep down he didn’t know how his body was going to manage this program at the Grand Prix Finals if he kept up this intensity. This was a program designed for Yuri, he had the stamina for this not him. Forcing himself up he bowed and left the ice. Seeing Yuri’s mouth open as he helped him over the little step he looked over at Yakov.

“You got sloppy with your footwork on the second half of the program. Your triple axel didn’t have good take off.”

“But I didn’t touch the ice.”

“Just barely.”

Knowing Yakov wasn’t going to let this little slip up slide he finished covering his skates and moved over to the kiss and cry. Yuri keep an arm around his shoulders while they sat. Taking his free hand he leaned over to whisper to him.

“You’ve never seen me stumble before have you? I hope I didn’t ruin your image of me.” Joking, he saw Yuri wasn’t smiling.

“You promised me you would stop if things became too hard on you.”

“I’m fine Yuri, winded but fine.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

Not getting the chance to defend himself and reassure Yuri they heard his name and his score. He beat Yurio but the margin was thin. Hearing Yurio yell in frustration both him and Yuri laughed.

Laying on the hotel bed Viktor was watching TV with Yuri snuggled up beside him and Makkachin laying on their feet. They both swore it was to keep them warm since they always came back freezing from the ice. Hearing a knock on their room door they both looked at each other waiting for the other to say they knew who that was. Yuri moved away to get it. Looking at the clock he saw they weren’t due for dinner for another couple of hours. He wasn’t sure why but they had late reservations today.

Sitting up hearing his name and what he thought was Yakov’s voice he saw him enter the room with Yuri behind him who just shrugged his shoulders.

“Dinner plans change?”

“We need to talk Vitya.” Knowing the look he was giving him he sighed and scooted towards the edge of the bed.

“Anything you want to say to me you can say in front of Yuri.” Reaching his hand out he had Yuri come sit beside him.

“What happened out there today?”

“I’m human, I am allowed to falter.”

“If you can’t continue tell me now.”

“Whoa! Why does everyone think I can’t do this anymore? I’m fine. Honest. We both know my free program is tough and I’ve never had such high stamina like Yuri. I can do it though as I have proven in practice and in competition.” Getting defensive he looked at Yuri to see if he had contacted Yakov about this.

“I don’t want you give yourself a heart attack out there. Vitya, I don’t care that you faltered in your footwork, I care that you almost collapsed after.”

“I swear I am fine. If you don’t believe me I will get a physical once we are back home. Yakov, I really appreciate you caring for me and that you are worried but I am fine. Trust me, if I was bad I would be passed out in bed already. Yuri has seen me after some practices ask him. I just crash and sleep until morning.”

“First thing after you get back is you have to get a physical. I won’t allow you back on the ice without one.” Watching him turn and leave slamming the hotel door Viktor couldn’t get a word in edge wise.

“You believe me Yuri, don’t you? I’m fine.”

“I believe you Viktor but you really worried me out there. When you finished and you fell, well, I thought you were hurt because you stumbled trying to stand. I thought maybe you hurt your ankle or something. But, you were so out of breath, and you just…well you didn’t look well at all. Yakov saw it too. I think he was going to summon a medic for you before you finally stood and left the ice.”

Sitting back beside Yuri he pulled him close, let his head rest against his heart. “Does it sound normal to you Yuri?” Giving a nod, Viktor laid back and stared at the ceiling. He was fine. He would do what was asked of him so he wouldn’t worry any one that cared about him but he knew he was in perfect condition.

0o0o0o0o0

This chapter took forever. I apologize now for shitty grammar and/or spelling mistakes. I just can’t type and my mind is so jumbled from various things focusing is hard. I wanted to keep going though because this is the only thing in life I want to deal with right now. Love you guys and thanks for dealing with me.

~Femalefighter~

           

 


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

 **Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

            Running, why did it have to be running? Viktor looked down on the treadmill he was hooked up to curious to know how long and how far he had gone currently. As agreed, he had made an appointment to get a physical. Yakov had actually put his foot down on him not entering the ice until he got the results back so he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. He wasn’t sure why he was running, he never remembered this being part of that but here he was, shirtless, on a treadmill, running with wires hooked up to his chest. Waving to Yuri who was sitting in the corner he saw him wave back and give the tiniest of smiles. He was doing this all for him really. Yes, he wanted to get back on the ice and train but knowing Yuri was really worried about him he dealt with whatever getting a clean bill of health entailed.

            “Okay Viktor, you can stop.” He wasn’t exhausted or out of breathe really, he just hated to run. Biking, fast walking, anything was better than having to run.

            “Oh thank god.” Slowing down with the machine he waited for everything to be removed before he got off and stepped away.

            “Everything is coming up normal.”

            “See Yuri, I told you I was perfectly healthy.” Moving towards him he grabbed his shirt from him and slipped it back on.

            “Whatever happened in Helsinki might have just been a fluke thing. I mean we could spent months and tons of money trying to pinpoint nothing. Were you having trouble breathing before the competition started?”

            Sitting back on the examining table he shook his head. “No, I was fine before and after. I’m telling you both everything was fine.”

            “And I’m telling you, no it wasn’t.”

            Reaching over for Yuri he pulled him closer. He knew he had been worried since then, even if he didn’t say it he could read it all over his face.

            “Is it possible that you simply forgot to breathe Viktor? I know you’ve been doing this for years but it’s not uncommon for people to get caught up in the moment and breath wrong. If what you’ve told me is true and the program you were doing was already physically demanding of you, mix that with the music, crowd, and trying to remember every step, your body may have not focused on something you don’t normally think about which is to breathe.”

            “If you’re telling me I am fine and I know I was fine once I caught my breath I’m figuring that is the likely cause.”

            “Maybe this is your body’s way of telling you you need to tone it down.” At Yuri’s words he really hoped he didn’t mean stopping. The grand prix season would be starting up soon, in fact they should be hearing about placements in the next couple of weeks. This is what he lived for and he didn’t want to stop if he wasn’t forced to. “You were struggling at Nationals too but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it was at World’s. I know you don’t want to hear this Viktor but maybe,”

            “Forget it Yuri. I’m not dropping out. If anything I will talk to Yakov and see if I can’t change my free skate piece. It’s not common to change it like this but if it’s proving to be too much for me than I really have no choice. You are really worrying over nothing. Listen to what the doctor is telling you, I’m fine.” Giving him a sincere smile he appreciated the concern but he didn’t want Yuri to create his own health issues by it. He had seen a couple of videos from Nationals online and he agreed with everyone, he looked ready to collapse after, but there was nothing wrong with him. “I love you Yuri.”

            “I love you too.”

            Thanking the doctor for everything they gathered their things and headed out.

            “So while we are out I am going to give this to Yakov to shut him up and then we can stop and get lunch, my treat.”

            “I feel like you forget I have no money as I don’t do anything so it has to be your treat. And stop treating us worrying over you like a joke.”

            “I’m sorry. I don’t mean it to come off that way. You worrying means a lot to me. I just don’t want you to lose sleep over nothing. But, now you know how I felt when I was worried about you.” Kissing his temple Viktor took Yuri’s hand to hold it while they walked to the rink. The doctor’s wasn’t that far from the rink and apartment and it was a nice spring day for them so they decided to just walk all over.

            Slamming the doctor’s notice on the rink wall in front of Yakov, Viktor puffed his chest out and got cocky. “I told you it was nothing!” Seeing him read each word carefully he looked over at Yuri and looked back at him.

            “Well I guess you are cleared than.”

            “I’ll be back here for practice tomorrow than so you better be ready. I have a lot of work to do.” Retaking Yuri’s hand they left the rink and went to grab lunch.

            Coming from the second bedroom turned workout room, Viktor went to the fridge to grab water and join Yuri on the couch. Actually that probably wouldn’t be smart idea. He was sweaty from working out and running earlier, okay so it was water then shower then couch. Hearing the doorbell ring he poked his head out of the fridge as he heard Yuri yell that he had it. Closing the fridge he was about to open the bottle when he heard Yuri call for him.

            “Hey Viktor, can you come here a minute?”

            Coming around from the island to see what was up he looked around the door.

            “Yuri! Get away from them!” Pulling Yuri back he moved him behind him as he stepped to the doorway.  “How the hell did you two learn of this address?”

            “Viktor, who are they?” Hearing Yuri’s question he ignored it for right now and kept his focus on the last people he ever wanted to see again.

            “Is this any way to treat your family Viktor?”

            Laughing with dry humor he tried to shut the door on them. He wanted to contact Yakov right now and see if he knew about this. Their address was private, the only ones that knew it were those he told. And he knew Yakov would never just tell someone where he lived. “What family?” Feeling them push the door back he wasn’t sure if they were going to try and force their way in. If they were here than they wanted something from him.

            “Aren’t you going to introduce us to your fiancée, Viktor? I’m heartbroken you would treat your mother this way. You’re my only child, my little Viktor.”

            Hearing her say that in the same tone he remembered as a child he got chills down his spine. “The only person I care to call mother is nowhere near here. Get out of my home and get away from my family. I want nothing to do with either of you. I thought I made that clear when I moved out.”

            “Viktor, son, we just wanted what was best for you. Having you focus on your career was what was best for you.” At his father’s words his blood pressure soared, his mind thought back to all he went through with them. The verbal abuse his father used on him was something he worked so hard to not let control him.

            “You wanted me for the winnings I received and nothing more.” Finally getting a better grip on the door he slammed it on their faces and locked it. Locking the chain lock as well he turned around to see Yuri holding Makkachin back.

            “Did they say anything to you Yuri? Are you okay?”

            “I’m fine Viktor. They didn’t say anything. They just asked to speak to you. I would have lied if I knew.”

            “I didn’t hurt you when I moved you did I?”

            “I swear I’m fine. But, are you okay? You’re shaking.” 

            “I…I need to call Yakov. Don’t answer the door. If they come back just call the cops.” Moving towards their bedroom where his phone was last he felt his legs give out as his heart was beating a mile a minute. He really never thought he would see them again. And if they knew he was here than who else could find out? Holding on to the back of the couch he felt Yuri put his arms around him.

            “Talk to me Viktor.”

            Shaking his head he couldn’t even formulate words. All he could think of was his childhood and the anger on his father’s face when he told them he thought he liked the same sex. Everything they ever told him kept playing back. Pulling Yuri towards him he wrapped his arms around him and kept him close until he could feel his breathing and heart calm down, he needed the memories to stop. He needed to know that Yuri was real. Grabbing the back of the couch to help him stand he went to their room wanting his phone.

            Calling Yakov, he wasn’t surprised it went to voicemail figuring he was still at practice. Leaving a message telling him what happened and to call him back he saw Yuri enter their room and sit beside him. Hanging up he took a deep breath and felt Yuri grab his hands.

            “Are you sure you are alright? You’re still shaking.”

            “How the hell did they get this address? Have they been stalking me? Did they steal my information? I really hoped to never see them again.” Feeling Yuri pull him close he wished he could wake up from the nightmare his mind was in. He honestly didn’t even want to walk outside anymore. What if they tried something? Or went after one of them? He was an adult for god’s sake and he was terrified to do anything right now.

            “I’m going to get you water. Just breathe okay.” He knew Yuri kissed his forehead before he squeezed their hands and stood up but he didn’t feel anything. He felt so numb. Climbing to the back of his bed he saw Makkachin come into the room and cuddle up beside him, he had always been comforting but now it seemed even more so as he wrapped his arms around him. Hearing a noise pierce through the room he screamed before he realized it was just his cell phone. Scared to see who it was he noticed Yuri had run back in and saw what was going on. Answering it he put his hand out with it.

            “It’s Yakov.”

            Sitting in the couch he wouldn’t let Yuri or Makkachin out of his sights. He just couldn’t get his mind to move past this whole thing. Not hearing a knock or the doorbell they heard Yakov outside the door asking to be let in. Yuri got up to get it for him knowing he didn’t have it in himself to move.

            “God Viktor you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” At Yurio’s words he wondered why he was even here. Yakov never told him he was tagging alone. “Yuri, do you have any food?”

            “Yea. Help yourself.”

            Looking up at Yakov he could read his mind for what he was thinking, “I know, I look like a mess.”

            “Did they say anything to you? About what they wanted or how they found out you lived here?”

            “No. They knew Yuri and I were engaged though. Thinking about it that knowledge isn’t hard to find. God, have they been stalking my media accounts?”

            “Don’t start panicking and giving yourself more anxiety Viktor.” At Yuri’s words he nodded and tried to clear his mind. It was easier said than done though.

            “I don’t get why you are so shaken up about your parents though. Are they mass murderers or something?” Looking over his shoulder he saw Yurio eating something from a plastic container as he leaned over the back of the couch. Right, he wouldn’t know about his past. He didn’t tell anyone but Yakov and Yuri and he didn’t even tell Yakov until a few years ago everything that had gone on.

            “No, they are just people I really don’t want to associate myself with. Please don’t ask me to elaborate I’m really not in the mood.” As he eyes focused on Yurio he saw Makkachin sitting near the door staring at it. Since they were all home he figured he wanted to go out. Yuri must have realized this too as he let go of their hands to stand up. Retaking them, Yuri stopped and met his eyes.

            “You can’t stay locked inside this apartment forever Viktor. Everything will be fine I promise.” Still, he couldn’t let Yuri go. The memories of his childhood just wouldn’t stop. What if his parents didn’t do anything but others did? What if someone went after Yuri? He wouldn’t be able to live with himself knowing he had been the reason he was hurt.

            “I’ll go! It’s not like they know me.” Whipping around, he saw Yurio move to put his food down and grab Makkachin’s leash. Standing, he couldn’t get his mouth to say anything at first.

            “Be…be careful Yuri. I’m begging. You are like a brother to me. If they come up to you tell me and don’t let them get to you.”

            “Yea. Sure. Fine.” Watching the apartment door close he hugged himself and sat back down.

            “Vitya, what has gotten you so worried?”

            “I…I don’t know exactly. Yakov, I…I never wanted to see them again. But they were here. They showed up here. I know I’m being childish but they put me through hell growing up. I don’t want to deal with them.”

            “This might not help things but…Viktor, you’re mother looks really familiar to me.” Feeling his heart drop to the pit of his stomach Viktor wished he didn’t hear that.

            “Viktor’s mother was a renowned ice skater back when she was much younger. She hasn’t skated for years but you can see her on TV doing commentary, or if you watch anything that goes into the sport she is usually there. I believe she is a spokesperson for an ice skate company as well.”

            “So you got your skill from your mother?”

            “Yea….lucky me.” He could hear his own sarcasm in his voice.

            “Can I ask, why she retired so young?”

            “I know that answer, she had me.” Gripping Yuri’s hands he met his eyes and could see he was running so many thoughts through his head.

            “I am her only child, and well, let’s just say that because she had me I had the responsibility of picking up where she left off. She was so strict on me growing up.”

            “If she is doing so much now then why were they always trying to take your money?”

            “My parents felt they were entitled to it because I was the reason my mother stopped skating. My father allowed the skating because they saw I had picked up her ability. I told you how my parents wouldn’t be supportive of our relationship right?”

            “You did. And I sensed the vibe when she asked about me. They really aren’t happy about that.”

            “They have very traditional views Yuri.” Stopping as his mind snapped forward a memory of his parents, their words and their abuse, he let go of Yuri’s hands and quickly got up.

            “Viktor?”

            Shaking his head he didn’t know what was going on with him. Why couldn’t he make the memories stop? He hadn’t thought about them in years.

            “I….I’m going to lie down. Can you let me know when Yurio gets back?”

            “Please, holler if you need me.” Nodding at Yuri’s request he stumbled into the bedroom and crashed face first into their bed.

            Feeling a gentle hand on his cheek his eyes opened to see Yuri sitting at the edge of the bed watching him as he caressed his cheek.

            “Everything okay Yuri?”

            “I’m really worried about you. Makkachin and Yurio came back a while ago. Yakov then left with him for the night. Said if you need anything to call him.”

            “Thanks.” Sitting up he took Yuri’s hand from his cheek and kept it gently between his two. “I’m sorry you have to see me this way. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

            “Nothing is wrong with you. You are dealing with a painful past. You are safe though, I won’t let them get to you and Makkachin won’t either.”

            “Makkachin will probably tackle them to the ground and lick their faces until they are blue. He is a terrible guard dog.”

            “I don’t know, he seemed pretty defensive earlier when I was holding him back. He could sense you weren’t happy.” Receiving a kiss to his temple, Viktor returned the gesture by pulling Yuri closer to him.

            “I love you, you know that right? No matter what others have told me, or what you might be told I love you.”

            “I love you too. And I won’t let anyone tell me anything different from what I know to be the absolute truth.” Noticing Yuri dropped his gaze to their hands he let him go to lift his chin back up.

            “What? Something is on your mind.”

            “I…Yakov told me a story from when you were a child. About the abuse you dealt with. I followed you for so many years I never would have guessed.”

            “A little makeup does wonders. Skating has and always will be an outlet to me. There I can escape whatever troubles I am facing.”

            “Your dad was really strict on you, yet he didn’t skate?”

            “He never stepped foot on the ice, ever. He didn’t even know how. My mother needed everything perfect from me, she wanted to make sure I rose to the top. She was going to live in her spotlight. It was my way of paying her back for deciding to keep me when she found out she was pregnant.” Letting Yuri hear the irony in his voice over that he took a deep breathe. “My father on the other hand…he never worked. It was beneath him. He was a perfectionist just like my mother, only with him nothing was ever good enough, no job, no person. I was maybe seven then. I saw someone a little older than me try this really cool move, I think it was just a backwards crossover, attempting it though I messed up and hurt my ankle. It was just a small twist, a little swollen and nothing more. He went off on me. Told me I was just wasting time and I was too weak to bother taking up my mother’s time. I wasn’t going to became anything. And well…you get the idea.”

            “I don’t want to laugh but it’s really funny. I mean. You’re a living legend.”

            “His words were a nice push.” Smiling, he started to laugh a little with Yuri, at the irony. “I hate them both so much that I pushed myself to get better and better. I hated them but I loved the ice and once I was free from them I loved it even more. Being out there for hours to practice was amazing. Watching those older than me do flips and spins I couldn’t help myself from trying to learn them too. I can’t tell you how many time Yakov yelled at me for trying a jump when I was still growing.”

            “That is really dangerous isn’t it?”

            “Yea, but it wasn’t that I was trying to defy the rules I just loved to learn all these new techniques. If I could master them all then no one could ever tell me I wasn’t good enough or strong enough and I would be able to use my skating to express my voice in a way no one had ever heard before. For the first time in my life I was able to be exactly who I wanted to be. Though, at sixteen I knew nothing about who that person was. My heart hurts knowing they are still out there trying to get to me, trying to make me pay for things that I didn’t even ask for. I got really lucky Yakov got involved and helped free me. I don’t think I would be the person I am today if I stayed.”

            “I’m really grateful he stepped in too. For you. I got to fall in love with someone so much better than his parents.”

            “God, I love you.” Feeling his heart flutter at the words he needed to hear he leaned in to kiss him. The heartache and pain he dealt with in his past seemed to be worth it to share this moment with Yuri now.

            The next morning he woke and dealt with his normal routine before heading out to practice. At the pit of his stomach he was worried about leaving Yuri alone or if he went out alone but Yuri was right, he couldn’t live in fear. If he did than his parents won. He wanted to be free, he worked for years to be able to do so. And no matter what they or others said he had people that loved him, he was gaining two parents that loved and supported them being together. There was no greater feeling than that.

            “Morning Vitya.”

            “Morning Yakov. Let’s do this. I’m ready.”

            “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

            Working hard all day he stopped to take a break with Yurio. They had both been at practice with full force. He wanted to focus on his current free skate and make sure it was something he could handle for the Grand Prix series. If not than he had to change it now or he wouldn’t have enough time to perfect a new one. Hearing gasps in awe they looked over to see his mother come walking in with a stride he could recognize a mile away, one he grew up on, she loved making the attention all on her. Noticing Yurio had stood up to stand in front of him as he moved to back away. He didn’t think he ever told him who exactly his mother was.

            “I didn’t know Russia had a Queen.” Hearing Yurio’s smart ass comment Viktor couldn’t stop the smile from his face. “Why not go hide in the locker room until she leaves?”

            “Because I don’t want to run from her anymore. I want to live a peaceful life.” Watching her come over to them his stomach turned as she looked Yurio over.

            “So you’re Yuri Plisetsky, Russia’s rising star.”

            “And you’re some old hag.”

            “Didn’t your mother ever teach you manners?”

            “What are you doing here?” Butting in, Viktor didn’t want to watch those two go back and forth. He knew Yurio would never stop.

            “I just wanted to talk to you my dear sweet Viktor. I heard you were back in St. Petersburg training but I could never figure out where you resided. And then I come by the rink and they tell me it’s a private practice and I can’t enter. I’m hurt by this all.”

            “And I told you yesterday I wanted nothing to you with either of you. I buried you in my past so stay there.”

            “Doesn’t Yuri deserve to get to know his future in-laws?”

            “Like you want to get to know him. I know damn well you hate our relationship. Father tried to kill me the day I told you both I was gay!” That day still sent shivers up his spine. If Yakov hadn’t offered him a safe place to go, he probably would be dead.

            “Your father didn’t mean that. He was just looking out for your career. Love with ruin a skater.”

            “Not mine!”

            “Look lady he doesn’t want anything to do with you so go!” Having Yurio jump in he wished he wouldn’t. He was worried she would do something and hurt him. She never laid a physical hand on him growing up but her attitude alone would leave scars.

            Before things could get any worse Yakov came over with the rink’s security to escort her out. Viktor figured he hadn’t seen the last of her but at least for now she was gone.

            “What a bitch. Damn.”

            “Thanks Yuri, for defending me.”

            “Yea, well, don’t mention it. I just don’t want her to get to you before I kick your ass at the grand prix.”

            Smiling as Yurio walked back to the ice he heard Yakov ask if he was alright.

            “I’ll be okay. Let me just check in with Yuri and let him know she stopped by here in case he goes out. I don’t want her harassing him.”

            With his parents visit in the past, though he knew he looked over his shoulder every time he left the apartment, he got on with his life. He couldn’t wait until he was back in Japan though. A peaceful life with Yuri and Makkachin, that was all he wanted. Sitting at home with Yakov, Yuri, and Yurio they awaited the postings for the grand prix lineups. He was excited to see where he was going this year.

            Getting the notifications, Yurio was first to see he would be at Skate America again, and the Cup of China. Scrolling down further Viktor saw he was first at the NHK trophy, and in France for the second. Looking over at Yuri he smiled and told him to call his parents and let them know they would be stopping for dinner.

            “Viktor, Nagoya and Hasetsu are on totally opposite sides of Japan. It would take most of the day to get there depending on how you went.”

            “Okay. So you heard that Yakov, I’m either leaving a few days early before the NHK trophy or I’ll be back a few days late.”

            “Just come back.”

            Giving him a hug he wouldn’t let him break away. He was so excited for everything. Finding their friends he saw he would going against Christophe in France and Phichit would be in Japan. Well that would be interesting. They all stood a chance to go finals than.

            Sitting at the table with Yuri they looked at a calendar for next year. As promised they were allowed to plan a date for their wedding. They took a little detour with everything else that had gone on but Yuri brought it up and so here they sat. Pointing to April, Viktor chose a Saturday in the middle of the month.

            “Okay. Why this date? You seemed to be searching for it.”

            “The day is random but April is the month I came to Japan to coach you. It will be two years since then at that point. Let’s get married on the day we met, though hopefully we will get cherry blossoms and not snow.” Letting his fingertips brush under Yuri’s chin he brought their faces closer so he could kiss him.

            “Okay. April 21st than.” Watching Yuri circle the date they pinned it on their fridge. They would have a lot to do before then. But, at least it would be after the Olympics, after Viktor’s formal retirement, and before Yuri went back into the season, if he really decided to go back.

0o0o0o0

            So sticking to the plot I had designed, next chapter is the last one and will be a big one. A sequel is definitely happening and again I can’t thank everyone enough for the love and support I have received.

~Femalefighter~

 


	25. Chapter 25- On My Love

**Chapter 25- On My Love**

**Disclaimer** \- I own nothing!

            _A/N- This is it everyone, the last chapter for Destruction. There is a sequel that will be coming out in the near future I just don’t have a title for it yet. Again I want to thank everyone and hope you enjoy this chapter._

           

Gliding out onto the ice, Viktor kept Yuri’s hand softly in his own. They had done this a few times since Yuri had been done with his physical therapy and they both loved the quality time together. Nothing too crazy was allowed yet but they went over basics. Got Yuri back up to a normal skating speed, went over simple crossovers both front and back, allowed him to reteach his body the foot placements needed for snowplow stops and other simple techniques. This though, this one on one quality time alone on the ice was rare for them. Usually they had to deal with his rink mates or the public. Viktor reserved this time alone with his fiancée though. He wanted to just share an intimate moment with them on something that went beyond the physical. Feeling Yuri push into him he put his arms around the other while they moved around the ice.

            “I love you Viktor.” Hearing his breathy, private words, Viktor lifted Yuri’s chin to kiss him softly before saying them back. Hearing his phone playing just a random playlist in the background they enjoyed just being near the other. Feeling Yuri pull away after a moment he stayed nearby as he went over the basics. Watching him attempt a simple two foot spin he kept his arms and body ready in case Yuri needed him. There was no order saying he couldn’t try them he knew Yuri was just hesitant. Having him end the spin and reach for his hand they skated together again for a bit.

            “Have you decided Yuri, if you are reentering the season?” Moving into a ballroom spin he watched as the movements between them flowed seamlessly. They had never practiced or spoke of a routine together this was just their bodies matching perfectly to each other.

            “I don’t think I will. I want to. I really want to win gold but, well. I have a long way to go before I can even think of matching my competitors again. But, I’ve decided that once we are settled in Hasetsu I will talk to Yuuko about becoming a teacher. I don’t want to say good-bye to the ice forever.”

            “I think you’d be amazing at it. Especially with little kids. I could see you being more excited than they are when they complete something for the first time. And then I’ll make it my job to win gold in your place at the final.” Pulling him close he gave him another kiss before they parted bodies again.

            “Not really the same thing but I appreciate the gesture.” Feeling Yuri come back to kiss him he didn’t let him get away this time and wrapped his arm around him.

            “But everything between us is shared, correct? Our good and bad times, our experiences. And, I am doing this because you really pushed me to come back this season. I am going to walk out of the Final with the gold and you can kiss it knowing your blood, sweat, and tears went into it too.” Watching Yuri’s face start to blush at the idea of them being one person sharing two bodies he took his facial expression as him liking that ideal. He personally thought that was what a marriage was anyway, a joining of two people to become one so this seemed fitting.

            “What will you do Viktor? I know you haven’t told me yet but I can read it on your body. After the Olympics you are going to retire.”

            “I wasn’t hiding it from you. I just wasn’t sure of the right way to bring it up. I figured after the grand prix I would talk about it and formally announce it. I really want to focus on us. Being around more, exploring the world with you, doing all the things we talked about.”

“I know. I wasn’t accusing you. I was just curious.” Growing quite again they moved around the rink together.  Their bodies moved easily to the light music behind them. They had forgotten this wasn’t something they normally did.

“Have you told your parents yet about us having a date for the wedding?” Curious, Viktor put his hands around Yuri’s waist to turn his facing direction.

“Not yet.”

“I took the blame for them not finding out our engagement first I won’t do it for the wedding date.” Teasing, he lifted Yuri up off the ice, not even realizing what he did until he had put him back down.

“I was going to tell them when we saw them next week. I figured it would be nice to tell them in person instead of over the phone.” Feeling Yuri stop him they both looked into each other’s eyes. “Did you just lift me?”

“I think so.” Looking down at their feet they looked back up at the other.

“Can we do that again?” Matching Yuri’s smile he took his hand to try it again.

Coming home Viktor pulled Yuri on the couch throwing a blanket over them before they felt Makkachin jump onto their feet. Sharing little kisses with each other they enjoyed this quality time they had. Thanks to practices, Viktor didn’t feel like he got this time with Yuri much.

“Oh! I almost forgot to tell you. I was able to get your mothers number blocked. I even called the phone company and they will make sure she can’t get through here.”

“You are amazing Yuri. Thank you. I would have handled it though.” With another kiss he ran his fingers through his hair.

“You’ve been busy and I know you’d rather not deal with her at all.” Receiving another kiss they got lost in each other’s eyes.

“I’m still sorry you had to put up with her at all.” When his parents first appeared and were really a bother they came home the one day to a bunch of voicemails from her hoping they could all talk. Ignoring them Yuri was getting mad that she seemed to always call during the day and the one day he took the phone off the hook just so he could get the phone to stop ringing.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you’re doing better from the whole ordeal.”

“All thanks to you Yuri.” He was really lucky and grateful that Yuri was in his life. He never would have been able to handle them trying to butt in if he didn’t have him, or even Yurio. He was surrounded by really amazing people, he was lucky.

Waking up to see Yuri asleep on him he shifted a bit to carry him off to bed. He was all for snuggling but he wanted Yuri to not roll over and fall off the couch. Yuri’s back was finally healed he didn’t want him to injury it again. Wrapping his arms around Yuri’s waist once they were tucked in he went back to sleep. He had a busy week of practice before he flew out to Japan for the NHK trophy.

Staying behind Yuri as he held his own suitcase and Makkachin he watched Yuri slide open the door to his parent’s restaurant.

“Mom? Dad? Are you guys in?”

“Yuri!” Hearing her come running from the back as they stepped inside they looked at each other laughing.

“Hi mom.”

“Oh Yuri! You look so good! And your back is better? How was your flight? Don’t be strangers come in, get settled, and relax.” Ushering them inside they put their stuff off to the side and Viktor unhooked Makkachin so he could be free from his leash. “I bet you boys are hungry. Want your favorite Yuri?”

“Sure mom. Sounds great.”

            “And Viktor sweetie, what would you like? Don’t be shy come in.” Getting a giant hug from her he couldn’t help but hug her back and greet her.           

            “I’ll have the same as Yuri. Thank you.” Taking off his coat and grabbing Yuri’s he hung them up and moved in to kneel at one of the tables. “Someone is really excited to see you.” Teasing, he saw Yuri nod back at him. A few minutes later she came back with their food and sat down near them.

            “Ma’am, you don’t have to stay so far away.” Patting the spot next to him he had Makkachin move to the other side of him to drool over his food.

            “You can call me mom Viktor, if you are comfortable with it. You’ll be family soon enough I hope.” Feeling himself get choked up he smiled and thanked her while Yuri laughed at his reaction. He had considered her like a mother to him but he had never asked her if that was okay. Hearing her say that meant so much to him. Yuri stopped laughing when he realized his mother was watching him hoping he caught her words.

            “Well...actually mom, about that.”

            “You two didn’t call off the engagement did you?”

            “No, no, no, no, no no! It’s nothing like that!” Putting his food down he waved his hands in front of his face. Now it was Viktor’s turn to laugh while he sat silently and ate. Some things would never change. “We have a date set. We didn’t do more than that but we decided to hold the wedding on April 21st.”

            Hearing her get excited she jumped up to hug them both again. Viktor couldn’t remember the last time he had been hugged so tightly by someone other than Yuri.

            “Here or in Russia? If out there you’re father and I will need to make arrangements to be there. We wouldn’t miss it for the world. I still feel bad I couldn’t attend your college graduation.”

            “It was fine mom and we are going to have it here. Viktor would really like to have it in Japan.”

            “Oh wonderful!” With another tight hug he hugged her back before she ran off to tell Yuri’s father and to mark it down.

            “While we are here we should decide where we want to do this.”

            “I was thinking that too Yuri.” Finishing up his bowl he placed it down and laid back on the floor. That was as good as he remembered. Seeing Yuri hovering over him he put his arm around him and pulled him close to lay with him on the floor. Looking at Yuri as he got comfortable he saw his face was red again. He missed seeing it so tinted. Perk of being back with Yuri’s parents.

            “Do you think we could marry at the beach?”

            Moving to look at Yuri’s face better they were able to see into each other’s eyes. “You want to get married outside Yuri?”

            “Not just outside, but by the water. I don’t know why but I always think of when we sat at the water here and talked right after you became my coach. If we are getting married the month we met I feel we should do it at a place most memorable to us.”

            “And if it snows? Japan has weather as unpredictable as Russia.”

            “Than on the ice.”

            “Marry on the ice? Like at Ice Castle?”

            “I’m joking Viktor. But that actually sounds like a fun idea.”

            “We could talk to Yuuko about it, see if something like that would be possible. I mean, I don’t see us having some huge wedding.”

            “Viktor?” Hearing his name Viktor sat up with Yuri to see Mrs. Katsuki at the half wall.

            “You’re parents are able to fly out here right? As a mother I know I would feel bad to miss my son’s big day.”

            “Thank you for the concern but…well…they won’t be joining us.”

            “Oh? How come?”

            “Mother! Please. Leave it as is.”

            “Well alright. But if,”

            “Mother!”

            Whispering in Yuri’s ear that he appreciated it but not to worry so much he knew he would have to explain to her why they weren’t invited later.

            Opening his old bedroom door both stopped seeing a problem before them.

            “Oh right...we packed up your bedroom and moved it to Russia.”

            “What about your room Yuri?”

            “It should still be here. Knowing my parents they didn’t touch it.” At Yuri taking his hand, they went back down the hall to see if the other room still had a bed in it. “Well, the bed is smaller but it’s a bed.”

            “Sorry Makkachin you have to sleep on the floor.” Watching his face tilt as he laid on Yuri’s old bed both of them laughed.

            “We are an inn…we have futons.”

            “Can I cuddle with you?”

            “They are futons.”

            “Yea but.”

            “Viktor.” Yuri put his arms around his waist and looked into his eyes, “we both know you can cuddle me however, I mean our couch at home is smaller than my bed.”

            Smiling down on his adorable fiancée Viktor gave him the sweetest of kisses. “I love you.”

            Walking Hasetsu together hand in hand they sought out places they could hold the wedding and the ceremony after. They were pretty set on the beach and with the trees in bloom it would at more romance. It was nice to be back here, he couldn’t wait until they officially moved back. Every time he walked St. Petersburg he was reminded of here and how much he missed it. Oh how times had changed him.

            “Is there a place we could hold the reception?”

            “There is a hall that can be rented out. It’s near Minako’s apartment.” Being pulled in the direction Yuri was taking him in he couldn’t get the smile to fall from his face. They hadn’t really done much today or with overall planning but it was hard to do anything else but smile.

            Checking out the hall both thought it would be perfect, there wasn’t a lot of them that would be attending so they wouldn’t need a huge place. Just their close family and friends. Making sure it was booked they went back home to relax and spend time with Yuri’s parents knowing how much they missed having Yuri around. Telling them the date was now officially set and they had a location Mrs. Katsuki offered to help however she could with the planning. Neither had been to a wedding before and weren’t really sure what was required of them outside of the standard things like food, and music. Plus, Viktor wasn’t sure what traditions needed to be upheld for the other. Looked like he would have to do some research while they planned.

            Landing in Nagano they gathered their belongings and headed to the hotel everyone was staying at. Meeting up with Yakov he looked pleased to see them and on time. Did he really think they wouldn’t show up? He put a lot of time into the grand prix he wasn’t going to skip it no matter how much he loved Japan. The week with Yuri’s parents had been really nice and relaxing. They had done nothing but take it easy and help his parents when they needed it, he got a little practice in but he wasn’t feeling anything really taxing. He also told Yuri’s mother about the reason behind not inviting his own parents. She never formally mentioned it but it was obvious she was thinking about it. Hearing her kind words about feeling bad he wasn’t close to his parents he really appreciated being told he could go to her for anything, anytime, he was family.

            Meeting up with Phichit, Viktor knew Yuri was happy they could all chat for a little bit before they focused on the competition. Leaving those to too catch up he took Makkachin for a short walk. He promised Yuri they would sightsee together so he wasn’t allowed to go too far. Not that he really wanted to anyway. When he got back Phichit was getting ready to head to his room before he headed to his own practice. Being told he would be there he assumed he was talking about their wedding. Snuggling up with Yuri before he could go far from the bed he shut his eyes while he relaxed.

            “It’s nice that people are excited to see us get married.” Viktor said as his head rubbed against Yuri’s chest.

            “Phichit has always been a huge supporter of us though.”

            “I know, but still. I don’t need anyone to be happy for us except us but it feels good to know our friends are glad we are settling down together.”

            Warming up, Viktor looked over at the stands. This is what he lived for. The crowds, the adrenaline, seeing Yuri cheering for him off to the side. This was what dreams were made out of. Moving to the side of the rink after warmups he talked to Yakov for a moment and got a good luck kiss from Yuri. He was ready to break records. Heading to the center of the rink he waved to the crowd and took his mark. Looking over at Yuri for a split second he took off as he heard the music. His blood was pumping through his veins, his whole body never felt better. Maybe it was just being in Japan, maybe this was what they called home field advantage. Russia was his home, he was born and raised there but he just couldn’t forget that the people here were family and they accepted them into their home with such loving arms. As the program finished he noticed he didn’t feel as out of breath as he was before. Tomorrow would be the true test of that but he was confident it would be alright.

            Going out to eat, they did a bit of exploring after. This was the best part of competing, getting to go to new places. Having Yuri force him to try a sweet that was famous in this city he had them share it. Before they headed back to the hotel for the night Viktor saw something in a shop window and made Yuri stay outside a minute. Coming back out he showed him his surprise.

            “I don’t get it. It’s pocky. What’s the big deal?”

            “Well for one, I never tried it when I first came out here and I heard there was game you play with it. It got me curious.”

            “There isn’t a game with it it’s just….oh.”

            “What?” Seeing Yuri blush a little Viktor was glad he got to see this side of him again. He missed shy Yuri some days. “What is it?”

            “I know what you’re talking about now.” Feeling Yuri grab his hand they walked along a parks edge together before Yuri had them stop at a bench.

            “So…what is it? I’m really serious right now I want to know what it is.”

            “It’s just a kissing game.”

            “You make it sound like it’s a bad thing. You don’t want to kiss me?” Teasing with a hurt look in his eyes he moved his face closer to Yuri’s.

            “Oh didn’t give me that look. I’ve never seen the appeal to it I guess is all. I mean I don’t really need to play anything to want to kiss you.”

            “You are the cutest. I am the luckiest man alive. How do you do it?” Still, he could see Yuri getting redder and redder as they sat and talked about this.

            “You take a piece, one person puts one in their mouth, the other takes the opposite end and they eat from the end to the middle. One person will still have in their mouth and they win, usually their lips meet and that’s how the winner actually wins.”

            “That sounds like fun. Let’s do it.”

            “Here?”

            “Yea. Why not?” Not giving Yuri the chance to argue he had the box open and piece in his mouth.

            “You are worse than a child sometimes.”

            “Come on it sounds fun.”

            “You just want me to kiss you.”

            “Don’t make me beg.”

            “Alright fine. But remember I’ve never played this too.” Once they were ready they started, Viktor’s eyes went wide as he shifted a little in his seat from Yuri’s lips pressed against his own. Swallowing the little piece that was left in his mouth he kissed him back. Bringing him closer he could see why so many liked this game. As they separated he felt Yuri touch his cheek.

            “You’re blushing Viktor.”

            “Am I?” Seeing Yuri stand up and steal another piece from the box he ran after him as he ran back to the hotel.

            Waking up the next morning to Yuri snuggled in his arms he was grateful everyday he got to share with the other. He looked so cute with his head on his own pillow while his body rested against his. Giving Yuri a little kiss he saw his eyes tighten with his face before he opened his eyes.

            “Morning my sleeping beauty.”

            “Morning. Time to get going?”

            “You can sleep a bit longer if you want. I have to get ready to head to the rink.”

            “I can go with you. Not that big of a deal.” He may have said that but he noticed he yawned and cuddled deeper with the covers.

            “Stay here and keep Makkachin warm. Come join me when you’re ready. I don’t go up until later.”

            “But,” Try as he might he saw Yuri fall back asleep with Makkachin coming between them to rest with the other.

            Entering the rink he warmed up a bit with the others. He was in group two so he had time before he had to go up. Placing first meant he was up last anyway. In the back of his mind what happened in Helsinki was nagging him. That last thing he wanted to do was become that exhausted and worry everyone again. Though, he felt a great. Putting forth a lot of effort into building stamina for this routine he felt he had come a long way. Landing his quad flip he went over a few others in his set and left the ice for now. There wasn’t a whole he wanted to do. Warming up a lot now would mean he would have to do it all again later with his group. Getting off the ice he saw Yuri waiting for him.

            “You actually got out of bed.”

            “Oh haha. And I noticed you forgot your water.” Being handed his water bottle he was grateful Yuri realized. “Feel good about later?”

            “I do actually. I see me coming home with another gold. Just one more to reach for and then you can kiss my last one.”

            “I want to kiss your Olympic medals. Anyone can kiss ones from the grand prix.” Hearing the teasing tone Yuri was giving him he leaned over to stare him down.

            “Is that a challenge? From the man that never won one.” Getting a slap in the face as Yuri turned away he realized he went too far. “Yuri come back here! I’m sorry.” Trying to kick his boots off he went to run after him. Seeing him in the bleachers to watch the first group he went to sit by him.

            “I’m sorry, that was mean.”

            “Just shut up. I want to watch Phichit.”

            “I didn’t mean anything by it.” Being ignored he sighed and focused on whoever was up for a moment before he went to stretch. He deserved this silent treatment. If Yuri hadn’t gotten hurt last year there was no reason why he couldn’t have won gold.

            Knowing he was up soon and Yuri wasn’t down yet he figured he wouldn’t talk to him again until after the competition. He knew Phichit had gone to sit with Yuri after he was up, he was probably told that he was an asshole. Shaking his head he tried to focus. He could worry about apologizing better later, now he had to focus on the task at hand. If he messed up and he told Yakov why he would ride him about it until the grand prix final.

            Coming off the ice he saw Yakov was still alone. Looking into the stands he saw Yuri was still sitting there talking to Phichit. He really messed up, why didn’t he have a better filter with what he said? Waiting to be allowed to enter the ice he heard his name being called from behind. Looking, he saw Yuri standing there.

            “You are talking to me again?”

            “Sorry for ignoring you all day.”

            “No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. It was out of line. Forgive me?” Being hugged by Yuri he took that as a yes. He really did love this man.

            “Now go win with our story.”

            “As you wish love.” Stealing a kiss for good luck he took to the ice and let the crowd cheering get his blood pumping again.

            Finishing his program he looked at Yuri and smiled. That went better than he could have imagined and he wasn’t dying for air this time around. Bowing to the crowd he went to exit and saw both his coach and fiancée looked please with him.

            “See. Told you I could do it. Just had to work some things out.”

            “Viktor that was amazing. I don’t know if that was just from more practice but…I’ve never seen you so alive out there. What a beautiful combo sequence.”

            “I keep telling you you make an amazing muse for me.” Grabbing another kiss from him the three of them headed over to the kiss and cry.

            In the hotel back from dinner Viktor just sat on the bed when Yuri handed him his phone. Unsure who it was that wanted to speak to him he heard his future mother-in-law on the other end.

            “We all just wanted to say congratulations on your win Viktor. It was a beautiful program.”

            “Oh, thank you ma’am that means a lot to me.” Looking over at Yuri he saw him smile before he sat down beside him on the bed. I hope I can make you proud when I compete in France and for the final.”

            “No matter what you do we will be proud sweetie.” At those kind, sincere words Viktor lost it. No one had ever told him they were proud of him unless he came out on top. With them they didn’t expect a victory, they just wanted to see him try. Yuri had the most amazing support system growing up he just knew it. Hanging up with her he brought his fiancée close, he couldn’t wait until they were one family.

            “I need to do something amazing for your family once this all done. Maybe take your parents on a nice vacation.”

            “You can try but they probably won’t leave the business. Mari can’t handle it all on her own.”

            “We could help her. I just, I want to thank them for everything. And I want to do something to thank you for staying with me. I feel like I threw myself at you but you still loved me. One day we are going to own a house, and grow old together.”

            “We already own a place together. And you already promised me we would marry so there isn’t any more you could do.”

            “Stop trying to ruin my romantic moment.” Teasing, he gave Yuri another kiss. He would kiss him forever if he was able.

            Only being back in Russia for two weeks didn’t give them a lot of time to do much but prepare to fly out to France. Christophe was excited to see them apparently, he kept blowing up his phone with taunts since he learned they were competing against each other. Coming to their hotel room he got Yuri settled and let him sleep knowing he was fighting a small cold. He didn’t have a fever or anything but he could tell he felt under the weather and let him rest. Not wanting to bother him while he slept but knowing he was too restless to stay in the room he went down to the lobby. Knowing he was close incase Yuri needed him he just sat at the bar and grabbed a bite to eat. Once he was ready to head back up he planned to bring up something for Yuri and Makkachin.

            “You lovebirds get in a fight?” Hearing Christophe’s voice he looked around to see him come up beside him.

            “No, he is sleeping. Got a bit of a cold before we flew out. He doesn’t want to make it worse.”

            “What are you drinking?”

            “Soda. I don’t feel like drinking tonight. I want to beat you with a wide margin. Rather not be hungover.”

            “God, so old. You get engaged and you become an old man.” Realizing a drink was slid in front of him he toasted with Chris.

            “We set a date. I’d invite you but you’re a pain in my ass.” Smirking, he had to blink to clear his head, what the hell was this? “God, what is this straight up vodka?”

            “It’s just bourbon. I feel you just insulted your entire country with that remark.”

            “I don’t want to get trashed Chris.”

            “One drink. I’ll get you wasted once I take gold. You can pay for my shots.”

            “Deal.”

            “So when is it? The wedding I mean?”

            “April, after I retire. We are going to marry in Hasetsu.”

            “Sounds nice.”

            “Thanks. I never really thought I would settle down. I mean I wanted to but I didn’t know how badly I wanted it until I met Yuri.”

            “And just think, you two met over him getting wasted at the banquet.”

            “And then forgetting all about it.” Laughing, he took another sip, god it tasted awful. “It’s funny though, I’m really glad he didn’t remember what happened. Because we got to fall in love with each other all over again. I got to see the real him you know. I mean don’t get me wrong, watching him dance in his boxers was the highlight of that night but, he chose me that night and I think I knew then that I chose him too. I just didn’t realize it.”

            “That is true love right there Viktor.”

            “I know, I never believe it existed until then. But enough about that, I actually have a question for you. Since you are here.”

            “Alright, shoot. What’s up?”

            “Would you like to be my best man at the wedding?”

            “Really?”

            “Well…yea. I don’t really have anyone else that I am close to. If you don’t want to that’s fine.”

            “Nah, I’ll do it.” Seeing him bring his face closer Viktor saw this evil smirk cross his face. “Do I get to plan your bachelor party than?”

            Oh god, what did he just do?

            Coming back up to the room with food he woke Yuri up to eat it while it was hot. Putting the other plate on the floor for Makkachin he would have to remember to get actual dog food for him after competition tomorrow. There was no way he was feeding his dog human food for the next four days. Makkachin was spoiled but he wasn’t that spoiled.

            “What is this?”

            “I ordered you dinner like I promised.” Moving closer to the bed he kissed Yuri’s temple only to have him pull away and stare at him.

            “Have you been drinking?”

            “I ran into the Christophe at the bar. He ordered me a drink. It was nasty. Why does my breathe reek of it?”

            “You smell of whisky.”

            “Apparently it was bourbon.”

            “Go wash your mouth out. Ugh it’s gross.”

            “Fine. But make sure you eat.” Getting off the bed he did as he was asked. When he came back he saw Yuri had the TV on and was eating. Jumping on the bed he rested against him while they watched a program he wasn’t even sure Yuri could understand and talked about how this weekend would go.

            “So I can’t take you sightseeing until Sunday when the competition ends. I’m sorry.”

            “That’s fine. We came here for that anyway so sightseeing wasn’t a number one.”

            “I know, I just feel bad. I’ll make it up to you by taking you to a really nice restaurant.”

            “Just take me to the Eiffel tower. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to see.”

            “Consider it done.”

            Laughing at the fact that he was placed in group one with Christophe he laughed even harder at the idea that they were back to back. Thankfully, he was before Chris. He didn’t need the ice to be gross by the time he went on it. He was ready, he knew Chris’s programs and he knew Chris knew his, they worked on them together in Hasetsu but he knew they both came a long way since then.

            “Focus Vitya. Don’t get cocky out there. And don’t turn this isn’t a contest between the two of you.”

            “I won’t Yakov, I promise. Our friendly competition won’t actually impede me.” Turning to Yuri he asked for a hug and got ready to show his friend what he was truly made of.

            Sitting at the kiss and cry he was blown away by the fact he managed to break his own record. It wasn’t by much but all things considered it was a nice accomplishment. Before he met Yuri his goal was to better himself, break records, surprise his fans, now he just wanted to impress Yuri and make him proud. Once they left they went to go cheer for Christophe in the stands. Feeling Yuri rest against him he subconsciously felt his forehead worried he was still feeling sick. Realizing it was just over Chris’s performance they laughed a bit and got comfortable against the other. Viktor wasn’t going to tell Yuri this and make him worry but when they were talking last night at the bar he learned that Christophe was a little jealous of Yuri. He never realized Christophe had a small crush on him for years and when he dropped everything for Yuri it hurt him more than he thought. At least their friendship wasn’t hurt to badly from it. He was always really bad at knowing things that were going on around him so if Chris was throwing him signs he probably didn’t see them. Thinking back though he wondered if the programs he created the year he competed against Yuri were designed to try and get his attention.

            Toasting, everyone went out to eat. It was a close call between Christophe and Viktor with Viktor winning by a solid two points.  Buying each other a drink they enjoyed everyone coming together for a chance.

            “Just think Yuri. In a few weeks you’ll be joining us for the Grand Prix. I know you aren’t competing but still. It will be nice to have you back.”

            “Thanks Christophe. I’m looking forward to it. I’m a little bummed I couldn’t try to enter but it was too risky. I can do the next Grand Prix though so who knows. Maybe I’ll rejoin to take Viktor’s spot on the mantle once he retires.” Watching Yuri tease Chris, Viktor couldn’t help but smile. His best friend and his fiancée being close was nice to watch. It truly was the little things in life that made it worth living.

            “Do you hear this Viktor? Your fiancée is trash talking me.”

            “Well he is probably right Chris.” He had no idea what they were talking about he had totally zoned out.

            Taking a little breather during practice he watched Yuri move around on the ice. It was nice to see him back on it. And despite him being worried about hurting his back he was picking it right back up. Watching him land a nice single toe loop he clapped before he wrapped his arms around him.

            “You weren’t serious were you? About joining the next grand prix?”

            “I wasn’t really thinking about it. If I do competitions again I might just stick to small ones or something. But, I really don’t see me reentering anything major.”

            “After practice today I want to talk to you about something. Don’t let me forget.” Kissing his cheek he saw Yakov staring at him with the eyes that said he better get back to practice. All these wins and he was still so strict.

            Grabbing Yuri’s hand after practice he had him stay on the ice with him. Whispering his idea to him he waited for his thoughts.

            “You want to do what?”

            “You don’t like it?”

            “I…we don’t have a whole lot of time for that. I mean…”

            “We both know it. Adding a few new pieces won’t take that long.”

            “Viktor….”

            “If you’re not comfortable about the idea than we don’t do it. I’m not forcing you to say yes Yuri. I just remember you told me before your surgery about a dream you had, a dream we both shared. This might be the last chance we get to see that dream come true.”

            “If you are confident you can do it in the short amount of time we have than fine. I’ll try it. Just…”

            “What?”

            “Let’s take it slow. I’d rather you not drop me.”

            “I haven’t done that yet.”

            “Yet is the key word there.” Hearing him mumble as he skated away Viktor skated after him laughing.

            Sitting on their apartment floor playing with Makkachin he heard their bedroom open and Yuri slowly exit. Looking over the couch his mouth dropped.

            “Yuri….”

            “This is a little much of a drop I know.”

            “No. You look gorgeous!” Getting up he grabbed his hands and got a better look at him. “You really look amazing.”

            “You think so? It isn’t too low?”

            “No, it looks fine. Do you like it? Think you can function in it? And this color…it suits you”

            “It fits nicely. Thanks Viktor.”

            “Come, let’s make sure it holds up!” Moving them to the center of the living room he pushed the coffee table out of the way and danced with Yuri.

            “Oh my god! Put me down! Viktor I am not even an inch from the ceiling!” Hearing him freak out he lowered him just a bit before having them crash on the couch. Pulling Yuri close he buried his face into his lovers neck.

            “Happy Birthday Yuri. Glad I could make you happy.”

            Landing back in Japan, this time in Osaka for the final. It seemed like it took a long time to get here but the day was finally upon them. Meeting Minako and Mari at the airport they all went to the hotel together before they met up with the others who were landing throughout the day. Since they got to Japan a day early for the event Yuri took Yurio and Yakov sightseeing. Neither of them had ever been and since Viktor hadn’t been either they decided to make a day of it. It was better than doing nothing anyway. Hitting all the major tourist locations Yuri took them to some not so well known places as well. Looking around at some of the shops Viktor couldn’t help himself come up with ideas for their wedding. They still hadn’t done more than some basic planning but he knew that once the Grand Prix was over they had to really focus because they wouldn’t have much time once Olympic practice started and after it would only give them  a little over a month of planning if that. Part of him debated turning down the Olympics but Yuri was really excited to see him compete in them and it was a huge honor when he thought about it. Plus, Yurio was attending them and he was only sixteen, someone should be there to watch over him. He was like a little brother to him he didn’t want any harm to befall him.

            The short programs went by like a blur. It seemed before he had a chance to blink they were over and he was placed in first with Yurio in second, Christophe in third, JJ in forth, and Phichit in fifth, and a newcomer in sixth. Still, no time to relax though as anything could happen like they learned last year. Having their friends gather in their hotel room he watched Phichit play with Makkachin on the floor, who was loving all the friendly faces and attention. Yuri was sitting on his lap in the chair while everyone else relaxed on their bed and around the room. He knew tomorrow was a big day for all of them but he believed you had to take it easy too. Plus, Yuri was asked to order food for most of them so it seemed stupid to have them all be in separate rooms.

            Once they had the room to themselves again Viktor pulled Yuri close to him. Getting lost in his eyes he could feel his heart falling even deeper in love with him.

            “I love you Yuri.”

            “I love you too. Don’t push yourself too hard out there tomorrow so you can win. We have plans that require you in good shape.”

            “I’ll be good. I don’t want you to yell at me for dropping you.” Smirking, he gave him a kiss before they fell asleep.

            Ending his free skate he knew he was breathing heavy again but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. This he knew was from excitement. In front of Yuri’s family and friends, in front of the world he told of their story, of their love, of their hopes and desires. He reminded the world that the kiss he gave Yuri at last year’s Cup of China was only the beginning of their story. Lifting him in his arms as he got off the ice he could have sworn he heard the commenters talking about them. Let them say what they wanted, he was in love and he never wanted anyone to forget it.

            Keeping a hand in Yuri’s while they sat with Yakov in the kiss and cry they all jumped up and cheered as he placed first. He did it! He won his final gold in the standard figure skating competition season. Hugging Yakov he thanked him for everything and promised he wouldn’t slack off for the Olympics. Once they parted he brought Yuri close, thanked him for pushing him so hard to do this and for never leaving his side.

            “Next goal, us getting married.” Kissing their ringed hands he moved towards Yuri’s lips.

            Standing on the podium beside Yurio and Christophe he couldn’t think of a better way to end the year. The three of them plus Phichit had created their pieces together for Yuri and together they all made it to Grand Prix Final. It was a shame the four of them couldn’t stand on the podium but he was glad they were all hear at least.

            “Do you need help Yuri?” Fixing his shirt, Viktor saw Yuri’s undershirt was rolled up on his back.

            “Just pull it down for me. I guess I didn’t put it on right.” Doing as he was asked he stopped and ran a finger over the little scar Yuri had from his surgery. “Everything alright Viktor?” Feeling his shiver under his finger he pulled his hand away and pulled down the shirt.

            “I’m just…really glad everything worked out for you Yuri. I felt really awful the way things happened and while I may never understand fully why you didn’t hate me and want to never see me again I’m glad we stayed together. I’m glad I can be here with you now.”

            “Me too Viktor. And thank you for always supporting me and never giving up on me even when I gave up on myself.”

            “I love you Yuri.”

            “I love you too Viktor.”

            Finishing up getting ready Yuri grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving just yet. “I want us to take a selfie.”

            “Oh? I was going to suggest that. Phichit wearing off on you?”

            “Maybe a little.” Taking Yuri’s phone, since he was taller, he put his arm around the back of Yuri’s shoulder and took two pictures of them together. One was just a cute selfie, the other he wanted, one of them kissing. Seemed like the perfect way to start what was next.

            “Nervous?” Keeping his hands around Yuri they waited to be told they could proceed.

            “A little yea. I don’t want to mess up.”

            “Never take your eyes off me.” Leaning down to kiss Yuri’s lips from behind he heard his name and let him go. “See you out there.”

            _Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome men’s gold medalist, Russia’s Viktor’s Nikiforov. His exhibition is dedicated to his fiancée and is a different version of a free program he did two years ago. “Stand by Me.”_

His body moved to the music that felt like it took on a whole new meaning to him. The last time he did this song he felt unattached to it, there was no one he had to stand beside him. Now, he had the love of his life. Moving into his first jump he landed it perfectly. He had done this so many times when he was relearning it he felt his body had never really forgotten it. Landing his third jump he stopped for a moment as Yuri met him on the ice and took his hand. He looked beautiful. The blue brought out all his best features. Viktor was sure he heard the crowd cheer though all of his attention was on the other. Sharing a smile he touched his cheek before they moved into what they had gone over in practice. While they might have had an audience it was easy to get lost in the other. This was just their bodies doing what they did naturally. Locking eyes as he lifted Yuri and rotated him in his arms he saw he didn’t look scared or nervous, he was happy. That beautiful smile he fell in love with covered his face for the moment. They tried to stay in the proper emotions for this but it was hard to keep it going whenever their eyes met. Bringing him back down, he dipped Yuri’s body by holding on to his shoulder while Yuri held on to his. He had been scared of doing this move but Yuri insisted. Spinning their bodies back into a standard position they stayed close together. They had gone over each step to be with perfect precision and even though Yuri always teased him about not dropping him he was never worried about that. He would never let him get hurt. Bringing him close he felt Yuri’s hand gently touch his cheek. How he loved him. They danced across the ice before the second lift was completed. Grabbing Yuri’s other hand he lifted him into a perfect spin before gracefully putting him on the ice. Going into the side by side sequence he loved going over this with Yuri. It reminded him of their days in practice, how they would do Eros side by side so Yuri could get the steps down perfectly. Feeling Yuri’s hands on his shoulders his body wanted to melt into them before he had to turn. Finally being able to take Yuri’s hand again he wished he didn’t have to ever let it go. Intertwining their legs they moved apart for only a moment, neither could handle more than that. As the music ended he reached for Yuri and let their bodies spin together as the music hung in the air. At the final note they stopped and before Yuri could realize he kissed him. Kissed him with all the love in the world. The crowd around them cheered and celebrated and all of that was ignored because he had the only thing that mattered in this world.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

~Femalefighter~


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